I Carry Your Heart: Book One
by GloLightly
Summary: This is my very first fanfic, I hope that people enjoy it. I know there's a lot of Daryl/OC stories out there, he's such an interesting character to build stories on that it's hard NOT to write about him!
1. Chapter 1

**I Carry Your Heart**

Sometimes when he closed his eyes he could see her face, green eyes staring into his, just smiling away… she was always smiling. He could almost smell her, that lavender soap she used all the

time. He could have drowned in that smell.

"Daryl?" Lori's voice slammed into his thoughts. "We're cookin' up some breakfast, did you want to join?"

He shook his head "Nah, not hungry." He closed his eyes, but it was no use, her face was gone. These moments happened less and less as time wore on. He had to take her picture out every now and then to remind himself what she looked like, he was beginning to forget. Instead, Sophia's face filled his thoughts, contorted and barely recognizable. He had the feeling he'd be seeing a lot of that in the coming weeks.

Daryl threw his bow over one shoulder and his hunting bag over the other. He determined to clear his head before he stepped into camp. He didn't want his face to betray him and display anything but indifference. He hated those concerned looks from Carol and cautious looks from everyone else, he didn't need that, not today. Pretending to not give a shit was easier than recognizing that e actually did.

"I'm gonna go do some scoutin', get us some squirrel for stew." Daryl addressed Rick, who was looking very confused and somber. 'Guess shootin' a little girl in the head will do that to ya' He thought angrily. Rick didn't have a choice, Daryl knew that… still didn't make it any easier to look at him in the eye and not see him pull that trigger. "Thought I'd letcha' know."

Rick nodded and swallowed a mouthful of eggs. "Thank you, I appreciate that. It's good to know where everyone is all the time, safer that way… if I could just know where y'all are… all the time… I could keep you safe." He seemed to be talking to himself more than to Daryl.

"I keep myself safe Rick." Daryl muttered with a tell tale scowl on his face. "I don't need no one babysittin' me, so go ahead and put that one away. I aint' your concern."

With that he turned quickly and stalked off towards his sanctuary, the woods. Unfortunately, as of late, his sanctuary was riddled with walkers, scarin' off all the food or eatin' it themselves.

Sophia's face flashed in front of his eyes again, the scene from the previous day playing over and over again in his head. The bite on her neck, the way she ambled toward them, cloudy eyed and snarling, Carol's cries of pain when Rick put a bullet in her brain, the way she crumpled to the ground… He couldn't get it to stop. Didn't know how to press pause. It was times like this when he felt the loss of her, missed her smiling eyes, wondered if she was alive or dead. If she thought of him too. If she were here she'd help his sort this out, help him feel sane again.

Eli." Daryl spoke softly into the mid morning air. Said her name once more, a little louder this time, risking it. "Eli, I wish you were here."

_**A week or so earlier…**_

"_How did you meet her?" Carol handed him a small glass with about two fingers of scotch. She had managed to grab a bottle at the CDC before the explosion, figuring it might come in handy at the right time._

_Daryl had been shot hours earlier, following another trip into the woods with nothing to return but a doll that had belonged to Sophia. None-the-less, it had given Carol hope. Signs of her girl were out there, and Daryl had found one. She had never felt more grateful to anyone in her whole life. She wanted him to be okay. As she scanned his body, taking in the bruises and bandages, she decided now was a good a time as any and fetched the bottle from her bag._

_He sat up, grunting against the headboard, trying to straighten himself. "Don't!" He snapped at Carol when she reached down to try and help. She snatched her hands away immediately and sighed. Daryl took the glass from the bedside table and downed it one gulp… grimaced… handed her the glass back for a refill. "Meet who?" He mumbled. He knew what she was talking about, WHO she was talking about. His head was pounding, he couldn't do this right now._

_Carol stared at him just long enough to make him uncomfortable before she answered. "Eli, Daryl. The girl who's picture you have in your wallet. You've said her name in your sleep a few times, once just now when I walked in. I heard you. I notice these things Daryl."_

"_What ya' need to do is mind yer own damn business and stay outta mine." He spat at her. "Why the hell do you even give a shit anyways?"_

_She looked down at the bedspread, running her hand across the same spot over and over again nervously. "You've done more for my daughter in the past week then her own daddy did her entire life. You took a bullet and an arrow for Sophia. I give a shit because you are the only person here who cares enough to go out every day and risk your own life for hers. That's why I care."_

_Daryl watched a tear stream down her cheek and felt himself flush. He hated that cryin' bullshit, he might as well have been allergic to women's tears, the way that made him feel. With Carol around he might have been building up an immunity with how much she cried. Since Sophia went missin' it almost never stopped 'Be nice, talk to her Daryl.' Eli's voice echoed in his brain, lavender in his nostrils. He lightly touched the stitches above his eye._

"_I met her through Merle actually." He surprised himself with his own voice, Carol carefully looked at him, holding her breath, waiting. "He went with her sister for a while, Emilie. He met her at the bar she'd been workin' at. Merle loved that bar, especially after she got her job there, and Em was the only girl Merle ever went with that kept his interest for longer than a month. He thought he'd fuck it up though. He always did… Dixon's have a nasty habit of fuckin' everythin' up around us…" He took another swig of scotch, slower this time, letting the warm liquid loosen his lips, making it feel alright to be sharing anything with this woman, especially Eli. "Merle decided it'd be a good idea to hook us two up. He was always doin' that, always tryin' to get me laid. Thought he was doin' me a favor I guess. So one night the four of us go out to the creek, wanted to go fishin'. I didn't get it at first, why he thought that'd be the place to take em', a muddy creek bed with worms and dead fish and shit… didn't seem like the way to impress a girl. Didn't make sense."_

_Carol sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. He adjusted slowly to accommodate her presence. She grabbed the glass out of his hand, unscrewed the bottle cap and took a swig, coughed, took another. Daryl's eyes met hers, and he reached over and took the bottle from her hands, staring straight ahead and following carol's lead. Felt silly to be usin' glasses anyway, with all that death around them. Drinking right off the bottle seemed to match the mood in the camp best._

_He went on "I figured it out short there after… SHE wanted to go fishin', they both did. That was what they CHOSE to do. I'd met country girls before, but nothing like these two. They were both so… smart ya' know? Good heads on their shoulders. Em had this way of lookin' at Merle when he was angry, this look she'd give him, melt him down to nothin'. Whatever had pissed him off didn't matter when she looked at him, he'd just calm down. I hadn't never seen him like that with anyone. She was… kind of like a gift I guess. I was grateful for that. And then meeting her, Eli I mean, down by the creek that day. That was MY gift. She showed me how to catch a fish with her hands… her damn hands! I aint never seen anyone do anythin' like that before, let alone a girl. She was younger than Em by quite a few years. Six I think. She was five years younger than me. We met when she was twenty three, and she's been my friend ever since. Well, until this…"_

_Carol's eyes were bright when Daryl looked over at her. This was the most he had talked since meeting the group, the most words he'd said to anyone since the day he and Merle ran, the day he had called Eli, getting her machine. Left that message, hoping against hope that she'd listen to it someday. Deep down he knew it was no use, but he kept on talking anyway. He thought it'd be the last words he'd get to speak to her. He had wanted to make them count. Now he knew that it had been a waste of time. No way she heard that message. It was next to impossible.._

"_We spent a lot of time together after that, almost every day actually. Em and Merle were happy, he was outta' my business for the first time in my entire life, and it felt… good. We did small things together at first. Fishin', huntin', cookin dinner for Merle, Em, and Em's little girl Sarah… I took Eli to a movie once. That was the one and only time I tried to kiss her… thinkin' that's what she wanted…. It wasn't. She wanted to be my friend. Said she messed up with guys, that she didn't want to make the same mistakes with me. She wanted to be my friend… first time anyone ever wanted to be my friend." Daryl closed his eyes and saw her face again, smiling, proud of him for letting Carol in when she needed him to talk. Needed him to take her mind off the fact that her daughter was lost in the words, alone and scared, walkers everywhere. He wanted to help Carol, wanted her to stop cryin'._

_What he was about to say next danced on the end of his tongue almost every time anyone talked about their losses, the ones they loved having passed, violently usually. All those people they once cared for were dead, and as far as anyone else knew, Daryl hadn't lost anyone but Merle. Merle, the bitter, racist, meth addict angry mother fucker they all knew him to be. They didn't know he had been okay once, happy even. None of those assholes got it, didn't understand… maybe Carol would.. He looked down at the bottle of scotch in his hands, took one last long swig and passed it back to her. She was careful not to touch her fingers to him on accident. She didn't want to do anything to make him stop talking._

"_One day, about a year and a half back… actually it was august 3__rd__ of last year… ten thirty in the morning… no use in pretending like I haven't burned that date in my brain… it's stuck there." He breathed in deeply, feeling a sharp pain in his side where he had taken the arrow in. "Emilie and Merle were out on his bike. Eli had taken Sarah for the day so Em could ride out with Merle. They loved the warm days toward the end of summer, was the best time for takin' the bike out. The three of us, Eli, Sarah and me were sittin on the porch at her house, just watchin the cars go by, talkin' bout nothin' in particular. The phone started ringin' and Eli jumped up to answer it… it was the hospital. Merle and Em had gotten into an accident, a bad one." He swallowed hard before continuing. "Merle made it through alright…. Em didn't. She died three days later from internal bleeding. Wasn't wearing the right stuff when she was riding. Merle never really cared, always thought he was invincible… guess he thought she was too, invincible by association. He loved her so nothing could ever happen to her… that's what he thought. Life doesn't work like that I guess. That was the worst I've ever seen him. Eli tried to be strong for Sarah, didn't even cry when she found out, not that I saw anyway. She took care of Sarah, took her in, seein as how her daddy was a dead beat piece of shit and her ma has just been killed. Eli's whole life was that little girl now. I loved her too, she called me Uncle Daryl, like I was really her family, I aint never had people like that before in my life, people who loved ya, showed it. I helped how I could. I was there for her, wanted to be. When Merle would fly off the handle, start fights for no reason, get locked up for fuckin up while on probation… she was there for me too, through it all. Em's death turned Merle a new kinda ugly, aint like nothin I'd seen before. The man you know as Merle Dixon, he didn't used to be such a prick. He used to love someone, and she loved him back."_

"_Oh Daryl, I'm so sorry…" Carol was looking away from him, wiping at her tears, brushing them away. He just sat there staring. Wishing with every piece of him that he could see her again, hear her voice telling him that things would work out, that it'd all be okay, because that was the only way he'd believe it now. Is if the words fell from Eli's lips. He'd never feel okay again._

"_Yah well, we all got something to be sad bout I guess. Nothing left here for any of us but pain. Just gotta keep on survivin', that's all any of us can do now."_

_Carol nodded, understanding his words at the truth. "What happened to her when things got bad?" Of course she was referring to the apocalypse, dead risin' up to eat the livin', what else could she be talkin' about?_

"_Far as I know she ran, tol' Merle she'd take Sarah and be runnin' to Atlanta, heard it was safe." He shook his head. "Aint nothin' safe no more. I don't know what happened after that. The day we ran, the day we met you, I had been huntin and Merle found me. Said there was no time to try and get her, that she was probably already gone… that we'd call her cell phone when we had made sure we were safe… he didn't give me the chance. I never saw her after that. She's probably dead. Her and Sarah both. I'm not lettin' myself believe she could be alive. Not lettin' that foolishness in my head. She' gone, and there aint nothin anyone can do about it." He felt anger bubbling in his chest, threatening to escape in any way he could find. Shouting, hitting things… He needed Carol to get out, and fast. "So that's it, aint nothin more to say. I need to sleep girl, you gotta get outta here. I don't got nothin left to say to you."_

_She glanced at him, took the bottle from his hands and stood up. "Thank you." She managed in a whisper "For telling me that."_

"_Shit, what are you thankin me for? You got other things to worry about. Now go! I need you out!" His voice getting louder and louder, he watched disappointment mist her eyes over with tears and he felt like throwing something right then and there. "GET OUT!"_

_Carol turned and hurried out the door and down the hall. He heard the door slam out front and he knew she had headed back to camp and that he was alone again. Better off that way. He thought after talking about that out loud, maybe it would help. Isn't that what all them head shrinkers were always goin on about? Talk about it and shit like that? Fuck lotta' good it did him, he still felt like someone socked him in the stomach, every bit of sadness and frustration behind that punch he felt deep in his gut. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Eli was in his head and not goin away, and he didn't want to fuck that up by sleeping. He'd stay awake until her face faded into the background, he couldn't miss another minute of her. He'd already missed too much._


	2. Chapter 2

**Figuring out where to go with this story so it's still easy to understand is harder than I thought! This chapter contains a flashback that Daryl experiences and then cuts to another part of the story that follows the story line of the show. I skip over a few big parts that are in the show to make my story easier to follow and understand. I hope you all enjoy! Review if you'd like, it's always nice to hear what people think.**

**Chapter Two**

"Daryl, can I come with you this time?" He felt a tug on the back of his shirt as he reached the edge of the woods. He turned to face Carl who was standing there with a look on his face that would have made most people melt, but Daryl just shook his head.

"Sorry little man, no can do." He squeezed Carl's shoulder "Your folks don't want you runnin' around out here, and I ain't gonna be the one to break that rule for ya'." The sad look on his face was driving Daryl nuts. What did this kid want him to do about it? "Tell ya what… when I get back from huntin' I'll show you how to shoot this thing." He touched his crossbow, gave it a little shake. "It's a better weapon than a rifle anyways. Quieter."

With that Carl let loose a smile. "Yah! That sounds really cool!"

"Only if it's good with your ma though, ya' understand?" Carl nodded up at Daryl and turned to run back to camp. That boy was always askin' to go huntin' with him. He didn't see what the big deal was with letting him. He could teach him how to hunt, track, fend for himself. His folks should want that for their kid in times like this, He'd want that for his own kid, if he had one.

He shook the thoughts out of his head and made himself concentrate. Quieted himself as he made his way to the creek. He wasn't quite sure why he was heading there, that's where he'd started each morning when he went out to look for Sophia. Make his way to the creek, travel either east or west, depending on which way the wind felt like taking him. Scoured the woods for her and she was in that fuckin' barn the whole time. It didn't matter how much time passed, when he thought of Sophia and the life that was wasted, him almost gettin' himself killed over that little girl for no damn reason, the anger would be just as intense. Feel just as fresh and when she stepped out of that barn. Nothin' was ever gonna make that go away.

Daryl let out a deep sigh once he reached the water, plopped himself down and put his head in his hands. He needed some time to think, straighten out all of the crooked thoughts in his head. Needed to understand why all of this was happenin' around him, and why through this entire shit storm the one person that he needed was gone and he'd just let it happen. He didn't argue with Merle when he had insisted that they were fine. He hadn't even tried, he just listened to him and did what he said, just like he was expected to do…. Merle's fuckin' lap dog, stayin quiet and doin' as your told. Daryl's lips curled downward into a scowl as he thought of the last time they had seen each other, the last time he saw her face, heard her voice… what a fuck up he'd been. The last time he sees her and what does he do? He just throws it all away…

_**Before The Epidemic…**_

"_All I'm sayin' is that it seems like it's gettin' dangerous Daryl, it's plain and simple right there on that T.V. in front of your face." Eli's finger was pointed at the television, shakin' like nothin' Daryl had seen before. The look on her face was unmistakable, she was terrified._

_Sarah burst into the room "Auntie, I just saw on the T.V. about how people are gettin' sick two towns over!" The little girls brown curls were bouncing as she ran around the kitchen grabbing cans of food. "You know we gotta get out of here, why ain't you packin? Please Auntie, I wanna go! I'm scared!" She was hysterical now, both hands full of food, sobbing in the middle of the room. Eli didn't hesitate, she ran right over to her, snatching the cans out of her hands and wrapping Sarah up in her arms._

"_You just gotta calm down for me now, okay honey? Just gotta calm down, I'm gonna keep you safe, you know I will." She reached down and stuck her finger under Sarah's chin, looked into her eyes, firm but understanding, like she always was with Sarah. She never let herself get mad at her, yellin' and such like Daryl had seen so much of in his life. "Hey, when have I ever let anything bad happen to you huh? Have I ever?"_

_Sarah swiped at her tears, shaking her head slowly. "No, nope…"_

"_Well then, good, it's settled. Nothin' bad is gonna happen. Now just try to calm down, take a few deep breaths, and then start packin'. You're gonna give yourself and asthma attack… we have to be careful with your medicine… ration it right." She was lookin' around now, taking in the situation, Daryl could see. Tryin to figure out what was worth saving and what she would leave behind. The look in her eyes made his stomach turn. He felt the rage bubblin' up inside a his chest, and he couldn't keep it in anymore._

"_For fuck's sake!" He hollered as he slammed his hand down on the table. "What the hell is wrong with the two a ya? Talkin' bout leavin' this all behind, actin' like it's the end of the whole damn world! Over reactin' to the shit they are telling you on this stupid thing." Eli held Sarah close to her, backing away as Daryl reached for the television cord, severing it with his hunting knife. At the sight of that knife Eli hollered for Sarah to run out of the room, go pack. "You really believe all this stupid shit? Where are you even gonna go Eli? You have no fuckin' plan! I mean, god forbid you ask me what the hell I think of all of this!"_

_Eli's face bared no emotion. "So what is that you would have me do Daryl? You just cut that cord and think this shit is goin' away? And excuse me..." She paused and she went from shut off to furious… zero to sixty in a second flat. "But since when the hell do I have to ask you shit? Since when is that a requirement every time something big happens? Did I miss the memo?" _

_Daryl backed up quickly when she advanced on him, hands up, ready to hold her back from unleashing her anger, but her hand went straight to his belt… straight for the knife. She didn't hesitate to rip it out of it's holster, did it too fast, he didn't have time to react. She threw it in the sink so hard Daryl thought it'd come back at her from the force alone. "If you EVER pull that knife out in my neice's presence again I will take it from you and immediately make you regret it." Her face was red with anger as she turned back to him, fire in her eyes. "I mean, who the FUCK do you think you are Daryl? You're not my boyfriend, my husband… you're not my family. You and you're piece of shit brother are NOT MY FAMILY!"_

_He didn't know what to say, how to move, what to do… so he just stood there. She walked out of the room and didn't look back. He could hear her hollering at Sarah upstairs, yelling out different items they needed to grab and bring with them. He was paralyzed by what she had just said to him. He knew he wasn't her boyfriend… husband or whatever. He knew that… they were friends. Friends, the kind that stay that way forever… might as well be family. She was goin' through losin her sister and havin to be a mother to that little girl, but they had all lost Emily… she wasn't the only one. Lumpin' him in with his brother like that. She might as well have spit in his face. She knew the shit Daryl had been dealing with from Merle since Em's death. It was a damn nightmare everyday, Merle as the main act in a theater of cruelty, and now Daryl was the SAME in her eyes? The thought made him sick, worse then sick… _

_And then he just left. Left without sayin' goodbye, without tellin' her everything he needed her to know. That he loved her, more than he ever had another person in his whole damn life, and Sarah too, and all he wanted to do was keep them safe. He slipped out the back door like a coward, and two days later when he and Merle ran themselves, they were already gone. And that was it. He hated himself for being too angry to call her before he realized that the world actually was fallin' apart at the seams. The only person that had ever made him feel like they cared for him in a real way was out there. And the best case scenario still involves her fighting for her life, for Sarah's, every day on her own. Worst case scenario, they were both dead. He wasn't there to protect her, and he could never forgive himself… the mistake of a lifetime, that's what he had made. He was never gonna top that one._

"WALKERS!" Glenn's voice bellowed in the distance. Daryl looked up and immediately saw it, slack jawed and runnin full speed. He backed up quickly and grabbed an arrow, came up underneath and drove it through the fucker's skull. He grabbed his things as quickly as he could and ran back toward the camp. He could hear them behind him, but he was making a gap. He was faster than those things, trippin' over their own feet all the time.

"The house! Run to the house!" Lori was hollerin' at everyone while Maggie shuffled them all inside. She closed the door quickly behind her, immediately going into her headcount, making sure everyone was accounted for... they weren't. Dale was missin' but there wasn't any time. Despite Andrea's screams of protest, Daryl made his way to the window that needed to be boarded up immediately and he and the other men got to work right away… he couldn't help but look while he was doing so, he didn't bother counting how many there were, but the number must have been staggering. They'd have the time to get it boarded up when they finally reached but how long it would hold was another story.

As they finished up Daryl slowly slumped against the wall with his few meager belongings at both of his sides. He realized it the moment he had seen them all out there… this is where he was going to die.


	3. Chapter 3

**So this chapter takes place after the season two finale. I was trying to figure out where they might go with the season because I haven't read any of the graphic novels, and this is the direction that I took. Coming up soon there is going to be introductions to new characters, but still tons of stuff with the ones we all know and love from the show! I hope you enjoy, I had fun writing it! New chapter coming up soon, can't stop writing! :)  
**

**Chapter Three**

"We are like sittin' ducks here Rick." Daryl paced back and forth under the "shelter" that Rick had found him and the rest of the group. He had already suggested finding refuge in the woods on the other side of the river. He could easily get them across, to maybe some sort of safety. The geeks would find them for sure if they just sat there under that bridge like Rick was informing them they would be doing now. He was becoming unreasonable… after what he had just gone through, it wasn't difficult to understand. But Daryl was not in the sympathetic frame of mind. The lot of them had just gone through a special kind of hell, and miraculously had made it out, with a few of exceptions…. Two of Herschel's people and Dale and Andrea… he hadn't even seen what happened to Dale, Andrea made it out of the craziness with a gun in hand, taking down walkers left and right before heading into the woods. He had thought about following her but Carol was still out there. Carol was running from the walkers on the edge of the road heading toward the farm. Daryl had heard her, seen her desperate attempt to escape on her own, and made a decision right there. Save the woman who needs saving, let the other handle herself because she was capable. He saw no other choice, he couldn't save them both.

The scenes from that day were, like so many other sights he had taken in since the world went to shit, were going to be burned in his mind forever. That house, escaping from it, watching Patricia get eaten alive in front of them and the screaming… it came from all directions. There was no escaping all the screaming, walkers and living alike. It was the most frightening thing he had ever experienced, up to that point, and he didn't want to go through something like that again. He didn't portray any of this to anyone in the group, although Carol was giving him that quizzical look she has, like she always thinks you're up to something.

"He's right." Carol chimed in, standing up. It was a surprise to hear her speak up against Rick like that, but she believed Daryl was right, and this man just was not seeing reason. "If we stay here we are more than exposed, we might as well be ringing the dinner bell. This fire, blood all over us from earlier, we don't have a place to wash up, to get the smell, that bloody copper smell, out of our clothes. The smell makes me sick. You can't just keep us-"

Rick interrupted, obviously angry. "I know what's right for this group. Look at us, we're all together, we're all safe, I did that!"

"We're not all safe!" Maggie hollered back. "We aren't ever safe, don't you get it?"

"And not all of us are here Rick, you remember that donthca?" Daryl looked at Rick sideways, the words seething out of him. "Dale, Jim, Patricia, their all gone, Andrea's missing, and Shane… well we don't quite know what happened there do we?"

Instantly Rick was in his face "I did what HAD to be done Daryl. He gave me no choice. Now you know I'm tellin you the truth. I wouldn't do anything to hurt any of you on purpose; He was my best friend for Christ's sake!"

Daryl snorted in return, his eyes full of hatred for this man in front of him. What the hell did he know about keepin' people safe? Not a damn thing, and that's the truth. He decided to push it, didn't care what it cost at the point. Daryl had heard enough. "He was your best friend, your best friend that was in love with your wife and wanted to call your son his… thought that baby in her belly," Daryl pointed at Lori's stomach "was HIS baby. And you expect me to believe you when you say you never meant to hurt any of us? You let that son of a bitch lead you out to the woods so you could kill him yourself. You know it was the only way to make him stop, so you ended it for him. Is that what you get to do now Rick? Call all the shots, even the wrong ones? Shit, you don't know how to lead anyone to anything. You couldn't lead a thirsty horse to water, and we're supposed to _trust you? _Sorry there Sherriff, not gonna happen"

Rick stood there, dumbfounded, eyes to the ground. Daryl had Rick figured out the moment they were inside that house, the moment he saw his face when he explained that Shane was dead. And he saw him now, as an angry man who murdered his friend and was tryin' to make an excuse for himself. It was disgusting, infuriating and downright WRONG. Daryl didn't care if he had crossed the line in talking about what everyone already knew anyway, just never said out loud. His eyes narrowed at Rick "Ten to one that kid gonna come out lookin' just like the man you murdered in that field, and you'll have to see Shane every moment you look at that kid. Good luck with that man, you're probably going to need it." Daryl heard a choked sob from behind him and realized it was coming from Carl… Jesus, he forgot he was even there, what the hell was he doin'? He stood up and looked at the rest of the group, stepping in front of Rick, deciding it was time for these people to make up their own damn minds, and stop letting Rick do it for them. "I'm going to head down to the edge of the river about a mile up the road. I'm takin my bike. Once I get there I'm gonna find myself a way to get across it and make my way to the other side, see what I can find there, if there's help, or people… just anywhere that is safer than this. Any of you that wanna join, come now, because this train is leavin."

Carol immediately stood up. Glenn was next, followed by Maggie and quickly there after T-Dog stood up. "Got a better chance with a redneck like you I s'pose."

Lori stood there with her hands on Carl's shoulders, looking expectantly at Rick. He just shook his head. She turned back to Daryl "We are staying." She swallowed hard, her eyes misting over. "Make me a promise? If you find help, a safe place, you'll get a hold of us on this?" She handed over a walkie talkie that Glenn had gotten in one of his trips to town.

Daryl looked her in the eye and nodded. He meant it too, he was going to help these people. They needed him, he realized. He didn't know how he felt about that responsibility yet. He'd figure it out soon enough. They left then, leaving Rick, Lori, Herschel and worst of all Carl behind. Daryl turned to the boy before leaving and put a hand through his hair, messing it up just a little bit. He got down to his level and looked him in the eye "Take care of your folks Carl, You're the man now, remember that. Sorry I never got to teach you how to use that bow…. When we meet up again, which we will don't you worry, I'll teach you how to shoot like me. You'll be a real hunter after that."

Carl nodded with tears streaming down his face. "Okay Daryl, I'll be a good hunter, I promise."

They whole lot of them had made it across the river. Maggie had a difficult time leaving Herschel, it was obvious. She was a crying wreck the whole time. Daryl couldn't help but get cross at her a few times. "Jesus quit that cryin' shit Maggie, you wanna welcome ever damn walker within a five mile radius or some shit? Stop it!" He looked at Glenn, gave him the "make her shut up now" face. Glenn got it, and got to work, soothing her, rubbing her back. He wasn't a bad kid, Glenn, and this girl Maggie was helping him grow up. They seemed as though they really had something. Something worth fighting for throughout all this madness. And here he was, alone and leading a group of people he wouldn't have given a shit about in his past life, his REAL life, to safety at his own expense. If he were by himself he'd be quieter, more stealth. He knew these people were slowing him down, He wanted to bolt right then and there.

And then they heard it. The unmistakable sound of horse hooves hitting the ground at a rapid speed. He readied his bow as the rest of the group cowered behind him. Damn, did he have to do everything himself?

The horse slowed and got close enough to where Daryl could tell there was a person on top. Everything was real still, he could hear the large animal give a sharp exhale, knew it had been out for a while… dehydrate, tired… "Who's there?"

Nothing.

"I said who's there! I can see you sittin' on that thing, answer me now!" Still nothing. Now he was gettin' pissed. All this yellin' and the mother fucker still wouldn't react. Well shit if he wasn't planning on makin' him react weather he like it or not. "I got a fuckin' bow in my hand right now and I'll fuckin' shoot ya' right now if you don't answer me, and I ain't kiddin!"

"Oh please would you just ANSWER HIM!" Carol let a scream go that Daryl hadn't ever heard from her before, the desperation in her voice. He was scarin' her, he didn't want to scare her… he'd walk away right now if it meant Carol's safety, and it felt good to know that. It was the first real feeling he had in weeks… besides all the negative ones that usually settled in him. He set down his bow and held up his hands.

"A'right, I put down my weapon see?" He started toward the dark figure slowly, feeling the heft of the knife at his side, the pistol tucked into the back of his pants. Even if this milder approach didn't work, he'd have a way out. "I just wanna know who ya are. We're tryin' to find a safe place to set up camp… we lost a lot of people today. Whole herd of em' came after us where we were…" He was gettin' closer still, could make out a tall figure on the horse, broad, obviously a man. He seemed to be lookin' right at him, but Daryl couldn't quite make out his eyes.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that." A deep voice called out to him, made him stop in his tracks. "And thank you, for lowering your weapon, but I'm afraid I can't help you."

"Whatchu mean you can't help us?" Maggie called out from behind him. "You got yourself a horse, you must know of a place around that can take us in! Please, we left a child back where we were, a young boy, no older than ten I think, and his folks… my dad." Her voice caught, but she kept on "Please, if you can help us, why wouldn't you? We aren't a threat, we just _need help."_ With that she broke down into sobs, collapsing to the ground. Glenn knelt beside her, wrapped her in his arms. Told her that he loved her, that everything would be okay. Daryl wondered if he'd lie to Eli like that if she were here. He imagined he would.

The man moved the horse's reins towards where Daryl was standing, approaching slowly. Daryl found his eyes, kept his trained right on them. He was covered in dirt, from almost head to toe, much like the horse he was riding. He glanced in the group's direction before looking back at Daryl.

"I'm Justin." His tone was cautious, still wary of these travelers unfamiliar to him, Daryl guessed. He patted the horse's side. "This here is Bo… look, I want to help, I do. Thing is, I don't know who ya'll are. I have people of my own to take care of, ya understand?" He glanced behind Daryl, sighed and shrugged. "Well, I s'pose you do understand. I want to help ya-"

"Then help us." Daryl said simply, dropping his hands to his side. "There's five of us here, four a ways back, to the east. Under a bridge with nothin' protecting them but a couple of guns and almost no ammo. I can't let them just stay there like that man, ya' gotta understand that. Somethin' needs to be done… The lady back there that Maggie was tellin' ya about? Well she's pregnant, got a baby on the way. I can't let them die, ya get me?"

Justin sighed and shook his head. Let some time pass before he spoke again. "Can ya get a hold of those people you're talkin' about?"

Daryl nodded, in disbelief that this man was actually coming around. He wouldn't let that show, of course, if he did he'd seem weak… and who knew where this man was taking them? He needed this man to also understand what he'd do to keep these people alive, pretty much anything at this point. He didn't know why he felt like he had to…. He'd been ready to leave them all there just a few hours earlier, he had wanted to leave them in the woods, felt the weight of these people that depended on him so heavy that he was gonna just run away. But now… well it just didn't feel like an option anymore. He suddenly felt what Rick must have been feelin' all along. It was his JOB to make sure they were safe. He wasn't going to fail. He couldn't.

"Well I'll wait for you to get em' here, and I'll take ya with me. We got a nice patch of land a ways down the river, prettily heavily protected actually. There's a handful of us, women and children, just like you I guess." He put his hand to his mouth and looked upward, was struggling with this decision, Daryl could feel it. His head then shot to look Daryl, who didn't look away. Didn't even blink. "I'm warnin you right now, if you or your people put any of mine in danger I will not hesitate to correct that situation, and neither will the other men that I am with. Trust me, you're lucky you ran into me and not a couple of the other… men I guess you'd have to call them, that help protect our camp. Any of them probably woulda laughed and left you for dead."

Daryl snorted. "Well isn't this just our lucky day then?"


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is where I take the story line in my own direction and I'm hoping everyone enjoys it! Oh and if you notice, I wanted to pay a little homage to the finale' episode for season one of The Walking Dead. Thank you Bob Dylan! **

**Next chapter will be up soon I think, I have so many ideas, need to sort them out in my head first! Again, thank you guys for reading/reviewing, you're all so great! Enjoy **

**Chapter Four**

It hadn't been difficult to locate Rick and the rest, seein as how they were right where Daryl had left them. Of course Rick was reluctant to go, but Lori made him see that it was the only choice to be made. With this new guy, Justin, maybe they had a chance. Or maybe Daryl was leadin' them all into a trap, he didn't know for sure. It was a gamble, yah, but it was better than just sittin' there waitin' for nothing in particular. Lori really knew how to talk to Rick, how to make him see that this was the most rational thing to do. Daryl appreciated not havin' to do most of the the talkin'.

Once they made their way back to the group in the woods Justin had managed to develop something of a rapport with them. He even had Maggie laughin' he could see as they approached. A small laugh, but a laugh none the less. They didn't get that much these days. Once Maggie saw Herschel the relief on her face was worth all this mess. He had helped these people, even if only in this moment, Daryl had helped. "What the hell's tha matter with me anyway?" He muttered under his breath. He wasn't used to this sort of thing. Made him feel out of sorts.

He settled in next to Justin who was walkin' that big bastard, Bo. He had let Lori and Carl up on the top of the horse right off the bat. Hadn't even thought about it, just hoisted them on up and stood at the front of the reins. He was alright, Daryl decided. Unless of course he proved not to be… there was just no way of tellin' these days.

"What did ya mean when you talked about the others? The men in your group?" Daryl fell in stride with Justin. He was taller than him, bigger too, he could see now that they were side by side. He could take him out easily if something were to happen. Daryl didn't doubt his own ability on that for a second. "You said, 'If you can call em' men'… what did ya mean?"

Justin let out a heavy sigh. The others were all quiet, listening, waiting for his answer. "I mean that they ain't the best type a people that you can meet, that's what I mean. A couple of em'… they're just hard headed is all. Don't think straight when their mad, make problems when we are supposed to be solvin' em…. I'm having a hard time not tellin' em to just leave. I just don't imagine that'd go over too well. And they both carry guns as too, I'm not the only one who does at that camp." He patted his side, where a small handgun sat in a holster. "Apparently I'm not the only one in _this_ group that does either." He motioned toward Rick, Glenn and T-Dog. "We're all just protectin' ourselves I guess. But not some of them, they'd use a gun for sport. They shoot geeks when they should be killin' em quietly. Made themselves some sort of sick game of it, like it's sniper practice or some shit. They wouldn't use guns on their own people though Daryl. I wouldn't worry too much about that."

"Yah well they sound like the type that we _should _be worryin' about, sound dangerous." Daryl laughed at the irony of it. "Hell, I ain't got room to talk…. I ain't gonna shoot ya or nothin like that though… unless of course you ask for it."

Justin smirked and kept his eyes straight ahead. "Well you'll be meetin' em all soon enough anyways, ain't but another couple of miles and we'll be at our camp. Can't believe we ain't run into one walker out here all night."

"They probably all at our barn. Seemed like every walker in this state were on us at once." Daryl ran a hand through his hair, suddenly tired, more tired than he'd ever been in his life. "Tell ya what, I can't wait to get to this magically protected camp a yours, get some sleep, it's been a few days now. I think we're all delirious from it some."

"We'll get you folks somethin' to eat and set you up good when we arrive, ain't much longer now… stay with me guys…"

They trekked for another half hour or so and then it was there, in front of them, like a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He could see a large building in close to the water's edge. There was even a dock dipping into the river, a boat tied up on the side. He could smell the fire they were burnin' from even this far away. He was so distracted by the smell, the relief he felt to see something that resembled normalcy, that he almost didn't stop when he heard Justin holler at him.

"Daryl, watch out!" He ran up and grabbed at Daryl's back. Out of instinct Daryl swung his elbow around and caught Justin in the side of the face with the back of his fist. Knocked him to the ground.

"Fuck, I didn't mean to do that… shit I'm sorry." Daryl reached his hand out to help him up. "Just, don't come up behind me like that again."

Justin took his hand and glared at him, was about to say something when Glenn's voice cut in "Daryl, look… he just saved your ass."

Daryl turned and looked behind him, back toward the property. He suddenly realized what Justin had saved him from. A fence, Daryl was guessing was electric. He stepped closer to inspect, the wires were thick like something you'd see at an army base or somethin' like that. He turned to Justin "What the hell is this place?"

He was holding a cloth to his face while Carol inspected the cut above his eye. Daryl asked again "Hey, what is this? Where are we?"

Justin looked past Carol, stared at the building in the distance and let loose a sad smile. "Well, that's home. Come on, let's get y'all inside. Follow me close, and don't touch the wires… it'll kill ya, y'all understand. These are powerful fences right here, you lean against it for a second and it can stop your heart." He was mainly addressing Carl, making sure the boy understood the danger of it. "Don't touch the fence."

"We got it cowboy," Daryl sneered "No point in repeatin' yourself, the kid ain't stupid. Just get us inside."

Justin waved them in, and they began the walk to the place in the distance. He padlocked the giant fence behind him and led them all to the source of that smell, cookin' meat, like a damn barbeque. Daryl's stomach growled loudly. "Man, that smells good."

Carol let out a carefree laugh "Oh it sure does! Do I smell actual barbeque sauce right now? I haven't smelt that since… well it's been a while." Even Lori and Rick were laughing. Carl had jumped off the horse and was running alongside Daryl.

"Don't go too fast now honey!" Lori shouted after him.

Daryl could see the people now, top of the building. Two men, standing there with guns. They raised their hands to Justin and he waved back, to let them know everything was safe Daryl was guessing. Everything was happening at once. Glenn and Maggie ran up ahead of him as well, Maggie snatching up Carl and tickling his side. Herschel clamped a hand on both Daryl and Justin's shoulders. "You boys did a good thing here." He said, squeezed. Daryl felt awkward with the old man's hand on his shoulder, but allowed it. He was grateful, he wasn't going to shut him down immediately. He'd let him be happy for a minute. They all deserved it. He nodded at Herschel knowingly and slowed his pace. He could hear this… sound. Was that music?

"You people crazy or somethin? Won't that attract Walkers?" Rick was standing with his hands on his head, addressing Justin, right in his face. "You can't play that so loud, right out in the open!"

Daryl wasn't listening to them arguin' behind him. The sounds coming from behind the large concrete building were pulling him in. He recognized the guitar riff, was that Dylan? Everything behind him faded, all he could hear was the gentle plucks of the guitar strings from around the corner. Everything fallin' apart around him, the whole world was on fire, and all Daryl cared about in that moment was the way this music was makin him feel. Where had he heard this before? It woke something up inside of him… he didn't realize why 'til the singing began… he heard her voice before he actually saw a thing but he knew it was her. His heart caught in chest, he thought it might explode…. This was impossible.

~~"If today was not a crooked highway

If tonight was not a crooked trail

If tomorrow wasn't such a long time

Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all  
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin'

If I could hear her heart a softly poundin'

Only if she was lyin' by me

Then I'd lie in my bed once again  
I can't see my reflection in the water

I can't speak the sounds that show no pain

I can't hear the echo of my footsteps

Or can't remember the sounds of my own name  
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin'

And if I could hear her heart a softly poundin'

Yes if only if she was lyin' by me

Then I'd lie in my bed once again  
There's beauty in the silver, singin' river

There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky

But none of these and nothin' else can touch the beauty

That I remember in my true loves eyes  
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin'

I could hear her heart a softly poundin'

Yes if only if she was lyin' by me

And I'd lie in my bed once again"~~

He had rounded the corner before she had finished. Leaned against the wall for support. He watched her hair, the color of fall sunset, swing slightly as she strummed the chords she knew so well. He gulped for air as he sunk slowly to his knees. He could feel Carol run up beside him, running her hands over his face, trying to make sure he was okay. He just held her hands down gently, didn't take his eyes off of the miracle in front of him. This just couldn't be real. How was this happening? Was he imagining it?

"UNCLE DARYL!" He heard Sarah's voice scream out to the left of him. "DARYL!" He turned to see her running at him full speed, arms wide. He grabbed the girl, pulling her head back to look at her face, make sure it was really her. Laughing and crying at the same time, she squealed out to her, "I told you! I knew it! I knew he wasn't dead! Didn't I tell you? Tell him how I knew Auntie, Tell him!"

He was holding Sarah tight to his chest as he stood up, her head on his shoulder. She was shaking so hard, he thought he might drop her… or was he shaking? He turned slowly, preparing himself to look at her face. When looked at her, standing there in complete… shock? Joy? Anger? What was she feeling? He couldn't tell anymore… he just couldn't believe it was her.

"Eli…" He started, but he didn't have the chance to get any further. Her eyes filled up and her legs just started moving toward him. She grabbed him by either side of his face, Sarah was standing up between them, hugging Daryl like if she let him go he'd never come back. Daryl set his hand on the middle of Eli's chest, making sure her heart was beating, that he wasn't imagining this whole thing. Grabbed her by the back of the head and leaned his forehead against hers. "I thought you were dead." He managed.

"I thought _you_ were dead." She got out between sobs. They held onto each other like that for at least a couple more minutes, trying to get themselves together. Not a one of them letting go. The group behind him was taking this in, wondering who this woman was to Daryl, trying to wrap their heads around the fact that Daryl Dixon had people out there he had lost too, not just Merle,

"Who's that?" Carl looked up at Lori, confused. Lori's mouth was agape, she didn't know how to answer…

"That," Carol said pointing at the scene in front of them and ruffling Carl's hair and smiling. "Is Eli."


	5. Chapter 5

**So I realized in reading back that I haven't mentioned Beth once in this story. I guess she never stuck out in my mind. For the sake of not going back and changing a lot of things I'm just going to continue on. **

**Thanks for all the reviews! Everyone's so great! Hope everyone likes this chapter, review if you'd like, I always enjoy reading them!**

**Chapter Five**

'All happiness is short lived.' Daryl just looked down at the ground where he was standin' as Justin and what seemed to be his second in command, Rob, explained the situation they were currently in.

"Merle's here… I just can't fuckin' believe it…" He shook his head and tried to think. Eli had taken Sarah inside the large concrete building on the river, along with the others they were with. Took Lori, Carl and Maggie with em'. The remainder of them stood out next to the fire, trying to help Daryl make sense of what had just happened to him.

"He showed up a few weeks back, said he'd been travelin' for a long time. He wanted a place to stay, just like you people." Rob ran a hand through his hair. "He helps out with the huntin', and trackin' we might need done, and he's awful good with a gun considering his… condition."

"You mean only havin' one hand, that what you mean?" Daryl's nostrils flared as he thought of his brother up there, handcuffed to the roof… what he must have had to go through to find this place. He couldn't help but feel angry about it still, I mean, it was his fuckin' brother.

"Yeah, that." Justin continued for the pair of them. "He helps protect this camp, someone you'd want on your side if you come across a herd of walkers I suppose. But other than that he's caused nothin' but trouble since he stepped through that fence. He and Eli have a complicated situation on their hands."

At the mention of her name Daryl's head shot up. "Whatchu' mean? What kinda situation?"

Rob let out a heavy sigh. "They don't like each other much, you could say. And it gets… out of hand sometimes, the way those two argue. I generally keep my nose out of other's people's business… but he came at her a few nights ago, hit her pretty hard… you notice that cut above her eye? Forehead still swelled up and all."

Daryl had noticed. He brushed it off as just another accident, shit like that happened all the time the way the world was now. But Merle had done that to her…. Daryl felt like killin' him. Would have if he was there. "Where the hell is he? I don't see him nowhere, where's he at huh? Tell me where he's at, he and I need to have a fuckin' discussion."

Justin nodded towards the woods they had just walked out of. "He's out there, huntin', likes to go at night sometimes. He should be back soon though, he's been gone for hours." He turned back to Daryl. "Listen, your brother is a loose cannon, but now that you're here I'm thinkin' maybe you could talk some sense into him, make sure he understands the repercussions if he doesn't stop this foolishness… him and that fuckin' sidekick of his."

Rick looked at him with question in his eyes. "Sidekick?"

Rob was shakin' his head. "His name's Jeremy. Came in with Merle, they had met somewhere along the way. He listens to your brother, every step of the way. He's dangerous to boot, got a lot of anger in him. Acts like he's king shit around here, he and your brother both. It's exhaustin' tryin' to keep them in check. And what happened a few nights ago was damn unacceptable." He looked up at Daryl, held his gaze hard. "I don't appreciate watchin' a woman get treated that way. If he touches my wife, or any of the other women like that I'll kill him. We warned him this time, gave him a chance, but if he crosses that line with any of them again I'm gonna take him out behind this building and shoot him like a dog, ya understand?" He was seethin at this point, words coming out like venom. Daryl had heard enough.

"Yah, I fuckin' get it. You think I'm happy about this right now? Really?" Daryl hollered back. "Find out three people I thought were dead aren't just to hear a few minutes later that this shit is happenin'? I'll do what I can, and I can keep him hell away from her, you understand me?"

"Alright, alright." Rick put his hands up and stepped in between the two. "That's enough, none of want anyone hurtin' anyone else, let's just calm down." He put his hands down and looked square at Daryl. "I know you can take care of this, you're… different now. He'll listen to you and it'll all work out. Won't it?"

The three men were looking at him expectantly, waiting. Daryl rolled his eyes, "I'll take care of it, believe me. What have they been fightin' about?"

Justin cocked his head to the side, gave Daryl a funny look. "Well, anythin' and everythin' really… but the other night it was pretty specific… heated obviously. About Eli's sister I think."

"Emily." Daryl said quietly.

"Yah, right. Emily. He said something sideways to her, mentioned her name, and Eli lost it on him. Called him a lotta choice words. Said that he… killed her is what I gathered from it." Justin had his eyes on Daryl, trying to gauge his reaction. "I don't know anything about it, Eli doesn't talk about her past much. But I know she had a sister, I know she's passed, and I know that she blames your brother for her death."

"Yeah this ain't news, trust me." Daryl leaned up against a nearby tree, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Merle blames himself, says it all the time when he's drinkin' especially. But Eli never said anythin' like that to him before. I didn't know that's how she felt… this whole time." And she stayed friends with Daryl… through all that, still cared for him and treated his brother well when she thought he was responsible for this. He didn't know what to say. The thought of Merle putting his hands on her made Daryl's blood boil. He stepped toward the fire again and looked at Rick, Glenn, Herschel and T-Dog, the men HE came with, men who knew him, trusted him to a degree. "I'll fix this, just y'all gotta give me the chance to reason with him alright? He's gonna get angry, we'll probably get into it…. Don't try to jump in, no point, but I'll make him understand the situation." He was wringing his hands together, seeing him hit her over and over again in his head. "I'll go find the asshole right now and fuckin' fix this."

"No need little brother." The familiar voice called out from behind him. "Already here. Give me ya' worst, we'll see how it ends."


	6. Chapter 6

**This was a pretty quick chapter that I wrote, if I wasn't so sleepy I'd write more tonight, I've got so many ideas... Thanks again for the wonderful reviews and I hope you all continue to enjoy!  
**

**Chapter Six**

"Whatchu plannin' on doin' to me anyway, little brother?" Merle's smile was evil, his fingers drumming on his gun holster. "You gonna shoot me? Try and fight me? Come on Daralina, we all know how'd that'd turn out."

Daryl took in the sight of him. He had a large, fresh scar going from the bottom of his jawline all the way to underneath his eye. His stump just hanging there. Daryl's eyes lingered.

Merle caught this and laughed, picked up his arm and shook it in his direction. "Yah, it must be hard _lookin'_ at it, try livin' with it. Fuckin' rotten pricks, leavin me on a roof to rot." He glared at Rick and T-Dog. "How long did ya look for me before givin' up, a few hours? Fuckin' pathetic. If it were you I'd a never stopped lookin'."

Daryl shook his head. "We tried, we came back for you and tried, and you took the fuckin' van for shit's sake! You know we came back lookin' for you!"

"Well that worked out well didn't it?" Merle spit at him. A figure came up on the side of him, a little shorter, a lot younger. Rough lookin'. Jeremy, Daryl was guessin'. Daryl paid him no mind, kept his eyes on Merle.

"Well that happened, there's nothin' we can do about that now. Let's agree to just get past it for now." Rick interjected, Merle stalked toward him, anger all over his face.

"This isn't your business Sheriff, so keep your god damn mouth shut! You're lucky I didn't shoot you and that fuckin' piece of shit behind you on the spot." Merle gestured toward T-Dog.

"That's enough Merle," Daryl said. "This isn't about them, it's about me, and you know it. I looked for you enough Merle, you can take care a yourself, obviously. My conscience is clear. What needs to happen now is a conversation about what you did. To Eli."

Merle snorted "Figures you'd be more concerned bout' that bitch than you'd be about me."

"Don't fuckin' call her that Merle. You shouldn't have put your hands on her." Daryl's hands balled into fists and he walked toward him. "You think you a man now? A big strong man beatin a woman that's less than half your fuckin size? Hittin… ELI? You think that if I ever found out about that that I'd let you get away with it?"

Merle laughed, setting his gun down, preparing himself for the inevitable. "I never thought I'd see your sorry ass again Daralina, and guess what?" Merle leaned in like he was gonna share a secret. "I'd do it again in a fuckin' heartbeat."

That was it. Daryl leapt at him, grabbed him by the throat with one hand and picked him up with his shirt with the other. "You MOTHER FUCKER!" He screamed. He could hear the men scuffling behind them, obviously tryin' to take Jeremy down. Merle swung up and caught Daryl in the side of the head, he staggered backward. Next thing he knew Merle was on top of him, kneelin on either one of his arms. Got in a few good hits on Daryl before he was interrupted with a butt of a gun to his head. He slumped over, knocked clean out. The weight lifted from Daryl's arms and he shoved Merle off him hard, panting, he put his hand to his face and felt blood trickling down his cheek.

Eli stood over him with a shotgun in her hand, eyes on fire, ready to hit him again. "Don't!" Daryl hollered at her and put his hand up. "He's out."

Eli pursed her lips together, like she did when she was tryin' to hold somethin' in. She looked up to Justin and tossed him the shotgun easily. She had put on muscle, Daryl noticed. Something about her looked older, worn out. Her eyes were tired… and one was unmistakably bruised. "Yah well, it takes a lot to knock him on his ass, you know that. You alright?" Daryl nodded.

Rick helped Daryl to his feet and Justin and Rob moved Merle to the nearby tree. Rick pulled the handcuffs out and then looked confused. "Oh right… I can't handcuff his hands behind his back." He looked for something to hook his remaining to, and settled on a metal rod stick up on outta the ground near a well.

"What the hell are ya doin?" Jeremy's voice rang out, T-Dog and Glenn had him subdued behind Daryl. "You just gonna hook him up there like you did before you son of a bitch? You fuckin pussy-"

"HEY!" Eli stormed up so close to him, until their noses were almost touching. "You don't get to talk here, you fuckin' parasite. This is not the place for you to speak so keep your ugly mouth shut." She shook her head as she walked up to Rick, Daryl, Justin and Rob. "He's gonna come too soon, and he's gonna be angry as hell. We gotta be prepared for that. I'm sure as shit not gonna be the one out here when that happens. I'm guessing that job should be yours" She looked up at Daryl, he nodded, understanding. "I don't know what you're going to say to him, but chill him out, alright?"

"Yah, alright." Daryl was about to sit down on a stump near Merle and wait, but Eli walked up close to him, reached out and touched his temple. He could feel the warm blood dripping down his face.

"We need to get you bandaged up or this thing is never gonna stop bleeding. I'll go get the kit, just stay put." With that she turned and walked inside.

Rick and Hershel came to stand by Daryl while Rob and Justin were convincing the Jeremy kid to shut the hell up, that or get tied up too. He went with the first option and headed inside to where everyone else was. T-Dog and Glenn stepped inside after him, heading in to find out where they'd be layin their heads to get some much needed rest.

"Daryl I'm… sorry son." Herschel said quietly. "This can't be easy for you."

"Yeah well it ain't, but nothin's ever easy for me, I've gotten used to it."

Eli re-emerged with a first aid kit in her hands. She had tied her long strawberry blonde curls back into a pony tail. She was still so beautiful. "Alright, here we go. I'm just gonna put some butterfly bandages on it. Not quite bad enough to need stitches. How you feelin? Feelin dizzy or anything?"

She finished applying the first butterfly bandage and Daryl shook his head. "No, not dizzy. I feel angry."

She looked over her shoulder to see that the others were preoccupied in a conversation, no doubt about what they were gonna do with Merle once he was up. Turning back to Daryl she quietly stated "Yeah well join the club. I've been angry with your brother for a long time now Daryl, a long time. He's lucky I didn't shoot him when I saw him hittin' you like that. Bastard…. So, you sure you're okay?" She looked into his eyes, searching for the truth.

"I'm okay, I am, you don't gotta worry bout me alright? You should get inside before he comes to, because you're right, he's gonna be really angry." He gave her a slight smirk, "Though I ain't ever seen a _girl_ knock him out, that was interestin'"

She didn't crack a smile. "I wanted to do much worse." She glanced up at Daryl before tearing her eyes away. "We'll talk to tomorrow okay? Don't let them leave you out here alone with him. That'd be pretty damn stupid at this point."

"I know that." Daryl huffed. His attempt to kid with her at all going up in flames. They used to joke around all the time, the only person who could get a laugh outta him was her, and now he couldn't even get her to smile. Something in her had certainly changed. She was different, angrier. He wondered if she was still angry with him. Maybe she was.

"Well than I'm gonna go turn in, get Sarah to bed." When Sarah's name passed through her lips something close to happiness came up in her voice. She looked down at Daryl and gave him a slight smile. "She's so happy you're here, ya know. When we were inside cleanin up from dinner she was just skippin' around that kitchen, askin' to go outside and see ya again, driving me damn nuts." She shook her head. "I haven't seen her that happy since everything fell apart. She missed you. She told me every day that you were still out there. 'He's too strong Auntie, he's like superman without the cape.' That's what she'd say to me. I always smiled but I didn't believe her. And now look…" She paused, lookin at him with misty eyes. She let out a shaky breath and smiled. "You're here, and you're okay." She let out a small, cynical laugh. "Isn't that just the strangest thing? I never thought I was gonna see ya again. When Merle showed up he didn't tell us you were with him, with that group , the ones who cut off his hand. He told me he had lost you, that you were probably dead somewhere, and he didn't care to know one way or the other."

She placed her index and middle finger right on his cheekbone that was beginning to swell. He wanted so badly to reach out and just hold her again, but that moment had passed, he was too chicken shit to just do what he wanted to do. She stared at him for at least a minute that way, with a blank look. Like she was thinking of something else entirely. Finally she stood up and grabbed her first aid kit. "I'm gonna head in now, for real. Can't keep her waiting too long, she'll end up runnin' out here to find me and then I'd never get her to sleep." Daryl smiled at her words. He had missed Sarah so much as well, he wanted to see her. Take her fishin' at the river, spend time with her.

"Can I take her to the river tomorrow to fish? She'd like that, and I'll make sure everything's safe."

Eli nodded, smiling. "Yah of course you can. She'd love that…. Hey Daryl?"

His eyes met hers "Yah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

She closed her eyes real tight and let out another one of those shaky breathes. "For finding us. I don't care if it was chance or fate or what. I'm just glad that you're here."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you everyone for your reviews, you are all so wonderful! I wanted to write a new chapter right away, so I hope that you all enjoy this one. I'm going to get into Daryl and Eli's relationship deeper in the next chapter or two. Review if you'd like to, I always love to read them, it gives me motivation to go on with this story, like it's not a dud. Guess I didn't have much confidence in my writing up to now, but this is a definite eye opener... thank you all so much!  
**

**Chapter Seven**

"_Oh good lord give me a break!" Eli stood with one foot on the curb, her other leg out, arms parallel to the ground. Daryl let out a laugh, she had to use her whole damn body to balance herself, one too many of those margaritas Emily was famous for. "You know you remember that." She hopped off the curb to the side of the road, gigglin' to herself._

"_I do not! Swear to god!" Daryl swilled off his beer and leaned his head against the oak tree in the front of Em's house. He and Eli could sit out there all day when the weather was right. When that last Harry Potter book came out she spent the whole day under that oak tree. That's what they were talkin' about, Eli claiming that Daryl brought her each meal that day. "I brought you a beer once, I think. I was out back havin' beers with them cuz I'm normal, don't spend my whole day readin' a kid's book like a… what did you call it?"_

_Eli's smile was wide, "A proper nerd." She nodded sharply and plopped herself down next to him. She leaned against the tree, resting her head on his shoulder a little, arms side by side. She always made him nervous when she got this close to him. No matter how much time he spent with her, when she touched him in any sort of affectionate way he felt himself wanting to pull back. Afraid that if he let himself go he'd do something dumb. He never fully trusted that he wouldn't make an ass out of himself in front of her. He still didn't understand why she wanted to be his friend anyway, why she chose to spend her days walkin around the woods with him instead of bein' out on some date or whatever, lord knows she got invited on enough of em'. He didn't want to ask though, afraid that she might up and realize just how much better than she was than him. "Well, I don't care whatcha say, you brought me a donut for breakfast, with a carton of OJ." She scooted closer to him and hooked her arm through his. He could smell her hair. Lavender. "Then around one o'clock I glanced inside those windows right back there, and I saw you makin' sandwiches. I knew one of em' was for me. And once I had finished the final harrowing chapter of The Deathly Hallows you were all barbequin' out back, and you already had a plate for me." She smiled, closing her eyes against the summer breeze, remembering. "You even made sure the potato salad wasn't touching the chicken, cuz you knew I wouldn't eat it if they were." _

_Daryl laughed loudly and leaned his head down to hers, forgetting he was nervous, forgetting everything except for the moment she wanted him to remember. She gave him this smile when she had come out back that day and he handed her plate over. He tried to pretend like he hadn't gone out of his way, like it was no big deal for Daryl Dixon to be waitin' on some girl, but she saw right through him nearly immediately. She just put her hand on his shoulder, stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. "I did do that didn't I? You had me runnin' around without even askin' me to. You do that you know…" He pulled his head back so he could look right at her. She was playin with her shoelace, her arm still hooked in his. Smiling that secret smile of hers, like she's got this joke that she ain't never lettin' anyone in on. He was in love with that smile._

"_I know." She said simply, lookin up at him. Her eyes were a bit glazed over, she was feelin' a little buzzed, he could tell. Hell, so was he. Emily really could throw a great barbeque on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Make it so you didn't want to be anywhere else but their backyard. All three of them girls did. Why would he want to be anywhere else? He was home when he was with them. Merle would even smile every now and then. He'd look at Em and his soul would quiet down, stop beating him from the inside out for just one minute. How did the two of them ever get so lucky?_

"_Hey! Little Brother!" Merle's voice called out, the two of them turned back to him, standin on the porch, waving them inside. "Dinner's ready! Stop that tree huggin' shit and get inside!"_

"_Oh Merle!" Eli stood up and opened her arms wide, running up to him in the yard. "You know just what to say to make a girl's heart melt!" Daryl was stumbling behind her, laughin into his arm. "How charmin'!" She clasped her hands together and gave him a kissy face. The duck face, that's what Sarah called it._

_Merle smirked at her. He couldn't even stay straight faced all the time. She stuck her tongue out at him and gave him a playful shove. "Alright, alright girly, get inside, come eat. You're too skinny anyways!"_

_Daryl stood out in the yard, just watching. Merle looked back at him and shook his head in a 'What are we gonna do with her?' kind of way. Daryl just laughed and jogged up into the house. The sounds in there… the music and smell of home cookin', Sarah and Eli laughing and runnin' around the kitchen. Emily was chasin' em both around, snappin her kitchen towel at them. Daryl stood by and watched them in all of their glorious foolishness. Thought to himself that he didn't ever remember feelin' so happy._

"Hey…" Daryl heard his brother's voice from far away. His eyes fluttered open… he had been asleep. Dreamin' of something that was actually good… he could still hear the music. He sat up and looked at Merle, lookin' all torn up. He had that smile, that evil smile on his face. All at once that face of his brought Daryl back to reality. He wasn't back home with the happy versions of those he loved, he was here, in a strange place. The people he loved, the ones that were left, were hollowed out and broken. He could see that bruise on Eli's face, yellowed, lookin' a few days old and still vicious as hell. He glanced to his right and saw T-Dog and Rick sittin by the fire, which was slowly dyin out. They saw him wake, and were both sittin' up straight. Ready for anything. Daryl turned back to Merle, let out a heavy breath, all he wanted to do was go inside and see what this place held, what he'd be living in for however long it would hold them. Instead he was stuck out here, in the early hours of the morning he guessed by pinkish light in the sky toward the east.

"Yah, I'm awake." He grunted, running a hand over his face. "Guess we need to get this over with now, so they can letcha' go."

"Oh come on!" Merle laughed, adjusting slightly, struggling to get his arm in a comfortable position. "Like you give a good god damn that I'm locked up here. You probably relieved! At least this way you know I won't fuck you up. One handed and I still laid you out. You're a pussy bitch, you always will be. If Pops wasn't right about anything else in his shit life, hell if he wasn't right about that."

Daryl just stared at the ground, felt stunted by mention of his father. He didn't like talkin' about that, about him, and Merle knew it. Used it as a weapon. Daryl had to make sure that Merle understood… with everything else that had happened to him, their old man was the last thing that he was worried about these days. "I'm no pussy, I ain't here to make you feel better about what you done, about what you think these other people have done. I'm here because I need to make you understand…" He looked at Merle right in his cold blue eyes, that icy stare. "That these people here done right by you. You owe them your life. You don't owe me shit, and you don't owe none of the people that I came with shit neither…" He saw Rick and T-Dog perk up a bit at their mention. "I get it, they left you for dead, and you think I gave up on you too. I didn't. Don't u get it Merle? I thought you could take care a yourself…. I said you were the toughest son of a bitch I'd ever known… my brother."

Merle looked up at him somewhat defeated. Still had that fire in his eyes, but his face had fallen some. Tired of fighting. Tired in general. "Yah, yah… I don't give two shits about whatchu got to say to me right now _brother_… I just want my fuckin good had untied, so I can go huntin…" He took a breath in and let it out, it seemed harder than it should be. He wasn't a hundred percent, Daryl could see that. The blow to the head Eli had given him left him shaken… blurry. "I wanna get outta here, for a little while. You get that?"

"Yeah I do." Daryl nodded at him, not letting go of his gaze. "I get it. But what needs to happen now is you have to understand me. Listen to me, for once in your fuckin' life."

Merle looked up at him, willing to open his ears. Anything that would get him out of his current predicament. Daryl would know his word was good for at least a few days. That's how Merle worked. He could only keep a promise he didn't want to keep for so long, and then he'd break it and deal with the consequences. Daryl would make sure there were consequences this time, consequences that he remembered. He didn't give a shit if he was his brother or not… no one touched Eli. No one would hurt her while Daryl was around. He would make sure of it.

"You can't go around hittin' anyone, ya understand? Not even the men, fuckin' just control your god temper for once in your life. CONTROL YOURSELF… or they are gonna either kill ya or send ya out to get eaten alive by the geeks. Your choice." Daryl sat back down. Gettin' down to Merle's level so he felt as though Daryl wasn't patronizing him. Daryl knew what that felt like, from both Merle and his old man. He wasn't going to do that to him, no matter how wrong he had been. "I'd rather you stay here, learn how to get along with these people… they ain't half bad if you give em' a chance. You know, T-Dog gave ya a chance."

He saw T-Dog shift in his seat at the mention of his name. He knew what Daryl was talkin' about… tryin' to let Merle free before he dropped the key in that damn drain, lockin' the door so the dead couldn't get at him. It had taken Daryl a long time to understand that he'd meant well, had tried to save Merle when the rest of em' left him to die on that roof. He had a new respect for that man, and he meant to tell Merle so himself.

"If anythin', you gotta see that he tried to save you… no matter the shit you threw his way, and you know what I'm talkin' about." Daryl looked sideways at his brother, suddenly realizing there was a lot of things the two didn't agree on. "Give the rest of em' a chance… that's what they did for you. It's only right."

Merle grunted and scowled, kicked at the dirt with his foot. "Fine… alright already. I get it. I'll back off… and I'll leave her be. Eli I mean…. Just, what she said man." Merle let his head fall, his chin restin on his chest. "I _know_ it's my fault she's gone brother… I don't need her to remind me. Havin' Sarah lookin' at me like I'm the damn devil…. Whatever man. It don't matter. Just get me outta these cuffs, and I'll be outta everyone's hair for at least a day. Give me a bit, I'll come back and it'll be alright. What do you say Daralina?" Daryl stiffened at this nickname, glaring at him hard. Merle let out a laugh. A good natured one at that. He couldn't tell weather or not he was fakin it. "I'm just messin' with ya. I know you can convince those two fine gentlemen ova there to let me loose. Let's just pull the trigger on that one… come on… help me out."

Daryl looked to Rick and T-Dog, nodded at Merle's cuffs. "Time to let him go. Let's go in and get some rest now." He watched as they uncuffed him. Merle stood up, shakin out all the thoughts in his head. "Just… come back in one piece… and fuckin' relax. Just try and settle in… I need to settle in some, ya understand?"

Merle just stared out to the woods as he grabbed his hunting bag. "I understand. Get back inside now Daralina, wouldn't want to make that woman wait another second now would we?"

Daryl shook his head in spite of Merle's obvious sarcasm. "No, we wouldn't."


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay so this chapter is mostly conversation between Eli and Daryl, I wanted to try and establish what type of relationship these two had before the apocalypse. Show what kind of things they had already faced together. Mostly fluff I guess is what you'd call it. Review if you like! Thanks to everyone for your kind reviews, again, you are all awesome!**

**KillerKadoogan- that was one of my favorite parts too! I feel as though I'm a "proper nerd" so I wouldn't hold my OC to any less standards haha.**

**Chapter Eight**

He walked through the long dark hallway, there was a dim light at the end of it. That was his goal. He could hear people's voices, may not have been hers, but he could hear people. He turned the corner and looked into the large room. There was a ping pong table in the middle of it, a basketball hoop at the end. It reminded of him standing at the cusp of something, just waiting for almost anthing to happen.

"Your old road is  
Rapidly agin'  
Please get out of the new one  
If you can't lend your hand  
For the times they are a-changin'."

"It's beautiful huh?" Glenn's voice surprised him. Daryl smiled as he looked at her. She loved Bob Dylan. Something in his voice, his words, dug up something inside of her that she couldn't ignore. She'd read every lyric he'd ever written, learned every song he'd ever played, because he made her feel something that Daryl could never quite understand. He liked that he didn't understand it. Made her feel more real in some strange way. Her eyes were closed as her voice let the words loose. Daryl turned to look at Glenn and he was standin' right there, with a look like… like he was peaceful. Like he was relaxed for the first time since he'd known any of them, unless he was in Maggie's presence. Here he was, all on his own, with that look like he didn't want to be anywhere else. It was strange, feeling the same thing at the same time as someone else. Daryl looked back at Eli. She saw them, didn't stop singin.

"The line it is drawn  
The curse it is cast  
The slow one now  
Will later be fast  
As the present now  
Will later be past  
The order is  
Rapidly fadin'  
And the first one now  
Will later be last  
For the times they are a-changin'."

Eli let her hand fall to her side, letting the guitar rest lightly in her left hand by the neck. Daryl turned around and Glenn was gone. Left him alone to talk to her. Good man.

"We thought we lost you." Her voice echoed in the gym, the morning sunlight casting a giant shadow, making her seem a lot taller in darkness than she was in light. "You were gone Daryl… I thought you were really gone, you have to understand that."

"Understand what?" He asked quietly, approaching her slowly, one wrong move and she'd run away like a scared mouse or somethin'. "I thought you were gone too Eli… maybe you're the one that needs to understand." The overhead light flickered, making her look like a movie version of herself… fading in and out.

"I hated you ya know…" She stood up, looked at him square in the eye. She looked the same to him in so many ways. Her tall stance, taking advantage of every extra inch god had given her so she could seem just a bit stronger than most. She didn't want to scare anyone off,but didn't want to let them in either, he never attempted to gain any knowledge on the subject, but now it didn't seem to matter. Had she ever let Daryl in? He didn't even know now. Didn't know what was what, who was lyin and who was tellin' the truth. Right from wrong… were there any answers anymore? It didn't matter, all that mattered was makin' this right. This moment in time, they couldn't control anything else. He waited for her to speak again. But that's all she had to say, that she had hated him at one point, nothing she was willing to elaborate on.

"I'm… I'm sorry." He stuttered. Walked over and stood next to her in one of those fold out chairs that were scattered all over the place. "I know I fucked up. I know I did. What else can I say? I'm sorry."

"You don't always have to be apologizing." She wouldn't look at him, kept her eyes on the floor. "I've never been an easy heart to carry."

"What?"

"I'm not easily helped… ugh I feel sick." She held a hand to her stomach, a pained look in her eyes. "I haven't slept for a while."

"You want me to take you to bed? I can help you."

"No." Eli stated firmly. "No… we are going to talk. Merle is gone, I watched him leave… thanks to you. We are alone, everyone else is asleep. Is there really any other way to approach this?"

Daryl shook his head. "I guess not… where did we leave off? You blamin' my brother for Em's death.. that's right… You really believe that dontcha?. I guess so." Daryl leaned against the back of the chair, waiting for the rain of words about to hit him, angry ones, words that made him feel like less of a man then he already felt. He knew he had let them down, but god dammit, he tried to fix it-

"I know what you were saying that day." She said, her entire face turned away from him. He wasn't going to make her look at him dead on quite yet. He wanted her to keep talking. "When you said you didn't understand why we were so afraid… do you get it now?"

Daryl nodded

"Well… I needed to protect her." She was talking about Sarah. Sarah's face flashed in front of his eyes again. She looked so much like Emily, he knew it was hard for Merle to be around her. He understood Eli's need to keep Sarah safe. He understood more than she would ever imagine. "Not just for her… but for me. She's all I got left."

"There's not one bit of me that doesn't get that." Daryl said. "I want her to be safe to ya know. I love that little girl."

Eli's head shot over in his direction. She had never heard Daryl claim to love anyone before. "You do?"

Daryl snorted at her. "Yah, I do. I'd never want anything bad happenin' to her. You neither. But that day I wasn't ready to hear it, hear you talk about abandoning your whole lives. Abandoning me. I s'pose up until that point I thought of us as a sort of… a team I guess. I thought that decision would be one that we woulda made together."

Eli shook her head. "That was a decision that I had to make on my own Daryl, and I needed you to support that. I needed you to help me, and instead all you did was holler and pull out that knife of yours. Scared Sarah half to death. If it weren't for everything she's seen over the past few months I doubt in a huge way that she woulda run up to you the way she did. I wonder if she'd even be happy to see you."

Daryl felt a pain in his chest at this comment. Did she always have to tell him shit like this? She never thought of protectin' any feelings he might have. "She would have been happy to see me Eli, Jesus Christ." He gritted his teeth together as she looked him straight on. Challenging him to keep going with her eyes. "She'da been happy to see me no matter what cuz I took care a you two. I don't care what y'all believe, what you've let ya'self forget. I was _there._ When you got that phone call, I was the one that drove us all to the hospital because you couldn't even see straight. When Em died, I was there, _me_. I held your head up, made you eat when you stopped altogether. Took Sarah to school when you couldn't drag yourself outta bed, took care a her when you refused to cook, clean, anything a woman's supposed to do-"

"_Supposed to do?"_ Eli shot up out of her chair and looked down on him angrily. "I had just lost my sister because your _idiot_ brother never bothered to buy her a helmet for that fuckin' death trap they rode around on. He didn't bother makin' sure she was protected in any way, that was his responsibility!"

Daryl stood up to meet her eyes. No matter how tall she tried to stand he still had at least four or five inches on her. She wasn't going to intimidate him like she could others. He wasn't afraid of her, hell, he was just as pissed off as she was. "That wasn't his responsibility Eli, that was hers too! She was a grown ass woman with a good head on her shoulders, she knew better, she risked it just like he did. You can't put all the blame on his shoulders or-"

"He'll beat me up?" She laughed in his face. "Trust me, I know that, can't ya tell?" She grabbed his had roughly and put it to her bruise "Or did ya miss that?" She threw his hand back down and turned her back to him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her around to him, made her look at him

"I did notice, I see, and I'm angry as hell. There's no excuse for what he did, and I'm sorry he ever touched you like that. You don't have to like him, just… try and tolerate him. For me? Okay?"

She looked at him sadly, for a second he thought she might cry, but she never had before. Why was this any different? She swallowed hard. "I can't tolerate him Daryl, I'm afraid of him. So are the other women and children. I'm strong, but Merle's a brick shit house, Could lay out anyone in this camp if he wanted to. Sarah saw when he did this, watched the whole thing, heard every word. Was the first one runnin' up to me. I think she might be the only one in this camp that's not terrified of him. She's too angry. First he killed her mom and then he hurt me, the only one left in this world of shit that cares about her like I do. She's lost everything, she can't lose me too. With your brother around that might happen. I'm not gonna bite my damn tongue anymore when he says somethin' terrible to me or any of the others in the group. He needs to start treating us with some respect."

Daryl's gaze on her softened. He let go of her arm and put his hands on either side of her face, she reached up and put her hands on his wrists. Not pushing him away, just keeping him at a distance. He didn't mind if that's what she needed to do. "She ain't gonna lose you, not while I'm around Eli. I'm here now, I'm gonna take care a you two, cuz… cuz I love you both so damn much." She looked up at him, he couldn't tell what she was feelin'. "I love ya both and I'm here, and I'm never gonna leave you again."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to Jay Livingston and Ray Evans for this amazing music. I really tried with this chapter to give everyone a background of my O/C Eli, and I hope everyone likes her, even if it's in a small way. Love you all, thank you for the amazing reviews!  
**

**And ChooseJoy: YEAH NEED TO BREATHE! haha, awesome band  
**

**Chapter Nine**

**Eli's POV**

'Is this fair?' Her head was spinning. One second she was just singing for the ones she had come to know and love, leave out a couple, she guessed. 'Am allowed to feel what I feel?... I'm angry.'

She guessed that's what he felt as well. He had been slapped in the face with this too. They'd both thought that they had sealed their own fate when it came to each other. The last time she saw him they had said awful things, had done things that they regretted. 'I guess none of this is fair.' Eli concluded. 'Nothing is ever fair.'

She snuck into her room, Sarah was on the bottom bunk. She didn't know who tucked her in but it was someone that didn't know enough to put her stuffed rabbit, Link, in the bed with her. Sarah loved that stupid thing. Eli hadn't ever gone through the stuffed animal…. Dolls… whatever you want to call it phase. There were reasons she had never experienced that, and she figured those were the same reasons she let Sarah love that silly rabbit like it were real. Like it was a piece of the world she had left behind, something that made her happy. Who was Eli to rob her of anything like that? She couldn't, not after what she had already gone through. It almost seemed… wicked, wrong, evil. Something along those lines. She was lucky to still have Sarah in her life, when she saw so many who had lost anyone and everything. 'Be grateful, stop thinkin' the worst' She told herself.

Daryl had been on his knees, the whole scene was in her head all over again. Like she could forget. The way she felt the moment she had heard Sarah's voice yell out his name. Over and over again, 'He'll be back Auntie. I don't get why you don't believe me.' Her voice rang in Eli's ears. She didn't give that girl enough credit, she was the smartest person left on earth. She had faith, faith in something Eli couldn't understand. She BELIEVED he would come back to them, that there was nothing that could keep them away from him for too long. Even when they had packed that night, the one that changed everything between them, Sarah was there in the corner… the voice of reason. She was folding her clothes so neatly, slowly placing them in her backpack while Eli was frantically grabbing everything she could. It was Sarah that had remembered the extra batteries for the flashlights. Sarah had remembered things like the opener for the cans upon cans of food they had stashed in her backpack. Amongst everything, the chaos, Sarah had made time to run up to Eli's bedroom and grab her guitar, her song book, and made sure that she had stuffed it in the back of the jeep. Somewhere deep inside Sarah had known… without her music Eli would fall apart. She needed that, she need her anchor… music.

She sat down next to Sarah. She was quietly breathing, a slight smile on her face. Eli shook her head. She just left Daryl out there… alone, wondered how long he'd felt that way, wondered how many nights he just hid and left everyone else behind. Pretendin' like it was better that way… why'd he always have to do that? He was so much better than that, better than shutting everyone out. These days Daryl Dixon was one of the best types of people you could meet…. And she was grateful for that. She was grateful that other people, these people he had come with, saw what she saw. He was strong, smart… quiet and careful in his own way. Let people know that he wasn't afraid of anything, that he could take what you dished out, and stood his own ground when needed… and yet he was the gentlest person you would ever know if you realized how to get that out of him Why hadn't anyone noticed this before? Why hadn't she? What was wrong with her anyway?

She was so tired, why wasn't she sleeping? So dumb… her head should be on the pillow right now, invading it with her dreams… her dreams would be of him. She knew this. He would be littered in her mind like it was every night, only heavier this time. More frequent. He was there now. Sitting right outside, he was real again. Just wandered in from the woods like no time had passed. Sarah in his arms, strong arms holding her up, protecting her, like he used to. Shit, he didn't even let her cross the street on her own when they stayed at his place. It was on a busy road, and every time she came over with Sarah, Eli was lucky if she could get one word out of him, he was so intent on making sure that she stayed on the sidewalk. A young boy, about ten years old, was killed on that road the year before. Every time Daryl looked at her Eli could see fear is in his eyes. Like the road was going to take her, just like it had Emily.

Emily…

Should she feel grateful? That she wasn't around to see what the world had become? As far as Em would ever know, the world she knew ended on a happy note. Her beautiful daughter was in her second grade at the local elementary school. She had met someone that took care of her, but let her take the reins every now and then, Eli guessed. Emily was always the meek type, quiet… but never afraid. She was never afraid of things the way Eli was. Emily was there to shake the scared out of her, bring her to reality. Make her face it head on. Emily made sure that Eli was never afraid of anything. Prepared her for life. And still… Eli could remember nights where the three of them would sit by her woodstove. Hardwood floors in the middle of the kitchen. Not one damn thing was comfortable about that, except for each other. She remembered one night… Emily had gotten into a particularly bad fight with Merle. They had hollered, cried, threw things. Eli returned Sarah to a crying mother in the corner of her room. Eli didn't know what to do. The only thing she could think of was to take Sarah back to the kitchen… that hardwood floor… how could it be comfortable for anyone? Eli still didn't understand Sarah's reaction that night. Maybe it was because it was a beautiful song… maybe it was because it was Eli singin' it, maybe it was because her mother had sang it to her before. All Eli knew is that it was the first time she realized she loved someone else more than she loved herself. She could only imagine how much Emily loved that girl…. More than life itself. That was the only explanation…

"When I was young, I fell in love  
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead  
Will we have rainbows, day after day  
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,  
Whatever will be, will be  
The future's not ours, to see  
Que Sera, Sera  
What will be, will be."

She had fallen asleep with her head on Eli's lap. She remembered, vaguely, looking up at Daryl in the doorway. What kind of a moment had that been for Daryl? For her, it was a moment that she took in Sarah, every smile, blink, breath… everything else had faded for her.

For Daryl, had it been the same? Had he taken in Sarah that way, the way she had? Or had he just stood there in the doorway for lack of anything else to do?

Neither, Eli decided. He stood there, leanin' against that doorway, takin' them BOTH in. He loved the both of them he said. Hadn't specified, like so many other men tended to do, he loved them BOTH… the thought of it made her heart jump into her chest. She was so helpless against her own stupid instincts, pulling away, never just stepping up and accepting what was standing in front of her. She always fucked that up. Just like he did. Was she any more or any less to blame for this situation that lay before them? Just another obstacle to face… it felt like one in a million, was that a good thing or a bad thing? Jesus, you know it's a bad world when you don't even know what to be afraid of. The dead eatin' the livin'…. Or somethin' as simple as a Dixon being more than what you'd expect. She just thought to herself simply, nothing made sense anymore, just take what life gives you. And life had given her two Dixon brothers, weather or not she could take or leave em', she hadn't decided yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you Tommy Cooper for the best joke of all time! And thanks everyone for the reviews, you are all so great and I love the advice, it has been an awesome learning experience. I went a little crazy on this chapter, wrote a lot. I hope that everyone likes it! **

**Chapter Ten**

"So this was a slaughter house…." Lori was looking a little queasy. Eli had just heard of the pregnancy, the morning after the night from hell. Or heaven. She hadn't really decided yet.

"Yup," Joanne piped in. She was standing at the industrial sized sink cleaning out some fish she had caught at sunrise. Eli had missed the morning trip to the river, had slept through it. She never really did that, but with the amount Joanne brought back, with her daughter Madeline behind her holding a couple of her own, it looked as though they had done just fine without her. "Justin found it the third day we were on the road. Knew enough to be real quiet finding it, follow his way to the river… I don't really understand how he does it." She nodded over to Eli "Her either. You two could walk through the woods with blindfolds on and still make it out on the other side no worse for wear."

A smile crept to Eli's face. "Yah well I had a great teacher." For an instant she felt the summer sun on her skin, the heavy heat deep in the woods of Georgia. Daryl showin' her how to track, find her way to water if she were ever lost. Eli already knew how to handle a gun, how to hunt and fish. But Daryl showed her how to _survive_ out there. Any situation you threw him into he found his way out, and had passed on this skill to Eli. "Just another thing on my long list of things to be grateful for at the end of the world I guess."

Lori grimaced as she watched little Madeline rip the spine right out of the back of the fish. She was going to be sick. Eli ran up to her real quick, directed her to a empty trash can. She held her hair back "That's it honey, let it out." She rubbed her back and tried to hold back a smile. She knew how lousy this Lori woman must be feeling. Emily got so sick in the beginning of her pregnancy with Sarah. Couldn't stand the smell of coffee in particular. Made her throw up every time. "It's disgustin' in here anyway, no body blames you one bit." Eli stepped back once Lori had finished, got her a glass of water.

"Ugh, thank you." She sighed. "I hate morning sickness. It was never this bad with Carl."

"Everybody's different I guess, babies included." Eli smiled as she hoisted herself up on the counter next to where Lori was standing. "I bet you ten to one you have your hands full with that one though. Em got so sick when Sarah was in her belly." She giggled to herself. "And that girl has more piss n' vinegar than anyone I ever met."

"I can tell!" Lori laughed out, pulled herself up so she was sitting next to Eli. Joanne and Madeline were busy at work, in their own little world "She's a funny girl that one, seems real curious about Carl."

"Oh she is curious about anyone her age. You should have seen her when we met up with Joanne and Maddie here. She didn't leave this poor girl alone for days, did she Maddie?"

Madeline laughed and shook her head. She was always quiet, the exact opposite of Sarah. Such a sweet girl, Eli had grown to love them, Joanne and Madeline both. Gentle, soft spoken people, smart too. "We gotta introduce you to the rest of em'." Eli said to Lori. "You and Carl, come out by the fire for breakfast with everyone. We'll all get familiar. There's another family here with us, three of em'. Cassie and her two boys, Ryan and Nathan. They are both about 15… 16 maybe? I can't believe I never thought to ask." She shook her head. "That's how old they seem to me anyways. Cassie's a riot." She hopped off the counter and gave Lori a look, wiggled her eyebrows at her. "Well? Wanna come out and join the rest of us? Promise we don't bite… well cept' maybe Merle or Jeremy."

Lori's face fell as she looked at Eli's eye. She could tell that she was gettin' sympathy in spades from this woman right then, and she didn't want anything less than she wanted pity. "I gave it back to him good, don't worry." She nodded assuredly. "I don't easily let people get away with things." She looked down to the ground. "Ya don't got to look at me like that. I'm fine, really."

Lori held her hands up. "Okay, I hear you. No more looks. But I'm sure that if it happens again-"

"It won't."

Lori looked at Eli, "Well it might Eli, and if it does, I'm sure that something worse is going to happen to him than just gettin' handcuffed to a pipe." She shrugged a little, watched as Joanne and Maddie took the fish out the side door of the kitchen, headed out to the fire she guessed. "I imagine if Daryl's around to see it… well, it'll be bad."

"I know. I've seen it before. They get into it and sometimes you think they are gonna kill each other. I watched Merle hit Daryl so hard once he dislocated his jaw. Seen both of em' with their noses broken." She laughed to herself. "One time, they were both drinkin' of course. They started messin' with each other… not really tryin to hurt one another. Then Daryl tripped over this rug that was sticking up a little in the corner of my sister's living room… Daryl grabbed Merle by the collar and ended up landing both of em' out the back yard, went right through my sister's plate glass sliding door." She ran a hand through her hair, smiling. "Em was so angry with the two of them, made em' clean up their own cuts and shit, wouldn't even let me help. Then she made them pick all the glass up out of the yard and her carpet… it was pitiful to watch."

Eli looked up at Lori, and the woman was lookin' at her in this way that made her throat catch. "I still can't believe that you two have the history that you do. Never thought he was capable of that… neither of them really. Hearing stories about the Dixon brothers before all this… it's a bit of a trip for me, ya gotta understand."

Eli laughed and grabbed Lori by the arm, beginning to lead her outside. She didn't want this conversation to get sad in any way, she didn't think she could handle one more sad talk in the such a short span of time. She felt like her heart might implode or something. Besides, she wanted to meet the rest of these travelers that kept Daryl safe while they were apart. She was sure that he had done his fair share of keepin' them safe too, but he was close with these people, they were a… family in some way. The only other person that he had shared that kind of thing with was Eli, so these people couldn't be all bad right?

They stepped out into the early morning sun. Most of the group was sitting over by the fire. Cassie was laughin' at something one of the ones Daryl came with said real hard, was cryin' she was laughin' so hard. Eli hollered out at them as she approached "What's so damn funny? You look like you're havin' a heart attack or somethin'." As she walked up, Lori following close behind, she caught Daryl out of the corner of her eye. He was standin' there, Sarah right at his side, talkin' with Merle. Sarah was lookin' up at Merle with a scowl on her face, but Daryl's arm was resting on her shoulder and she was leanin' into him. Eli could tell just by her body language, even from this far away, Sarah felt safe. Her shoulders were down, instead of up around her ears like they usually were, she had turned into such a nervous kid. Not that Eli could blame her… God, she loved the way he looked when he was with Sarah. Made Eli feel safe too, like what Daryl told her was actually true. That he loved em' both and wouldn't let anything happen to them. She was too cynical to really believe it, but it was nice to let the part of her brain that wasn't logical take over every once in a while.

"Oh good lord," Cassie was leaning back, wiping tears away from her face, red faced. "Jeez, tell that one again T-Dog, that was so damn funny." She started laughing all over again. Nathan was shakin' his head and grinnin' at his mother, his dark skin glistening as the sweat dripped off his face. He had been splitting wood since dawn with his brother. He and Ryan both looked exhausted, sweaty and fed up, but still got some joy out of seein their mother enjoy herself this much.

T-Dog scoffed, "Jeez, it ain't that funny." But even he was chucklin' to himself. She looked at him expectedly.

"Well?" Eli urged, "Go on now, I wanna hear it?" She leaned in close to him "Is it rated M for mature, or is it safe for the youngens?"

"Well… I guess…"

"Hey Sarah!" Eli stood tall and waved at her niece. Her face shot out from Daryl's side, and both of their faces turned to meet hers. "Wanna hear a funny joke? Apparently Cassie thinks it's awful funny, wanna hear?"

Sarah giggled at her, and Eli stood out in the middle of the dirt path by the fire pit. She opened her arms real wide and crouched down low, she could feel Daryl's eyes on her. "Airplane me?" Sarah called out, Eli nodded.

Sarah came runnin' full force at her and Eli caught her little legs, Sarah's hands landing on her shoulders. She stood up fast, holding Sarah up as high as she could. She was almost too big for this now, being over ten years old, she was growing tall. Just like Eli, she wasn't gonna be a teeny little thing. Eli was 5'9", Emily had been the same, it was in her blood. Sarah was laughing loud, her long brown curls fallin in Eli's face. Eli grabbed her by the waist and carried her over her shoulder to where the others were. Daryl, Rick and Herschel were walking over to join everyone. Joanne, Maddie and Maggie were all cookin fish in a actual coal grill, like a real barbeque. Eli stopped for a moment before joining them all, setting Sarah down and lettin' her run back to Daryl's side. She looked up and met his eyes, and they were already fixed right on hers.

She held his gaze, tilting her head to the side a little. She let a smile slip out, and wasn't surprised when he smiled back. It was a Dixon smile, twitched on and off and never really settled in his face, but it was there none the less. She loved that this hadn't changed about him. Not a lot had changed about him really… well… he was different as far as she was concerned. She knew that he missed her when she was gone. Mainly because she missed him too, worried each and every day, and when days turned into weeks and she had lost all faith that he was somewhere, thinking about her at the same time… Wondering if they were still breathing the same air, thinking about what they would do if they ever saw each other again. The one thing they had both done, had both felt, that moment the night before… relief. That's the best way to describe it. Relief, shock… some sort of faith was restored in her the moment she had seen his face. If there was a God, he was watchin out for her, for once in her damn life, he had taken notice of Eli, and gave her the one thing she wanted. The one thing she needed. He gave her Daryl.

"Oh come on now," Glenn joined in with the teasing T-Dog, had full attention of everyone in the group. "You got everyone's attention. Let's hear it."

"It's kinda terrible, don't know if the kids would like it, or get it in general I guess…."

"Don't care T, spill it." Daryl said. Eli glanced his way again, he had his hand on the top of Sarah's head, was reachin down and flickin her nose every few seconds, had her giggling and swatting at his hand. It was surprising to hear a nickname for this man fall so easily out of Daryl's lips…. That time away from Merle had done him a lot of good. Made Daryl realize that he wasn't like him, Eli figured. Merle was broken in a way that couldn't be fixed. "If you have ever seen a group a people that needed a laugh more in your life, please, let me know." Daryl held his hands out to in a mock display. T-Dog looked at him and sighed, smiled.

"Alright… okay." He was talkin' more to the fire with a faint grin on his face. "A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Everyone was quiet, and then there it was, this glorious single laugh. Carl threw his hand over his mouth, lookin up at everyone around him. Lori and Rick were both laughing along with him almost immediately, quickly each and every one of them were laughing. The kids were laughing mostly because they were reacting to the joy they were hearing, the adults laughing at the pure ridiculousness of it, and even Jeremy was chuckling over in the corner. The only person without a smile on his face was Merle, just stood there stone faced , lookin' at the ground. He probably hated that any attention at all was on T-Dog, but knew better than to lose it again this soon after what had happened. He was still on thin ice with the group, and he knew it.

"Thank you for that," Eli held the back of her hand up to her head. "It was obviously needed." She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, calloused and not easily mistaken when another's hands in Eli's mind. She turned and looked up at Daryl. Her green eyes meeting that blue stare of his. Something cold behind them she couldn't place, but didn't want to run from either. Last night… he said he loved her. Loved them both. It was so much to take in coming from him. She had always known on some level that he cared about her in a lot of different ways that were too complicated to define, but she never felt the need to ask questions before. Now that the world was a different place from what they had ever known, she didn't know how she felt, weather or not she wanted to really know what those goosebumps were that sprung up on her arms when he would move her hair out of her face. Did she really want to understand why he was the only one to see through her walls, but still respected that they were there, left her be when she needed space? She knew she wasn't the simplest person in the world to figure out, wasn't carefree or innocent like most men wanted. What Eli had to dish out to the men in her life after she lost Emily, what she liked to call the bad times… well the bad times before the worse times, was nothing but hell. Everyone she was close to caught a lot of grief, Eli was the first to admit it. Guess you take things out on those you're closest too.

Daryl had never faulted. Had stuck around. More than stuck around… he saved her so many times, in ways he wouldn't even understand. It was amazing to her that he didn't get how strong he really was.

"We are gonna head out, split up in to groups of two, do some huntin and scavenging. I thought I might ask ya'… well ask ya' if you wanted to come with us. We could track together, like we used to." Merle was glarin' at the two of em' while he was cleaning his knife, Eli chose to ignore it. "I mean, if you'd want to… Maybe someone around here…" Daryl's voice trailed off, looking around at the people and wondering who'd be trustworthy enough to leave Sarah with.

"I can watch her for a few hours, we'll hang out here with the others. Does that sound good hun?" Carol looked at Sarah, then Eli for approval. Eli looked at Daryl, and he nodded, as in 'She's good, you can trust her.'

"Okay, yah, that'd be just fine." Eli smiled at her. "Thank you Carol, it's a big responsibility, watchin someone else's kid in these times." She had meant it as a half grateful statement, half warning, meaning that if Carol didn't make sure Sarah was safe 100 percent of the time she'd have hell to pay. She walked over and bent down next to Carol, handed her the emergency inhaler she kept on herself for Sarah. "Make sure she doesn't get too rowdy with the other kids, running around too much. She likes too, but doesn't realize her lungs are gonna make her regret it." She shook her head. "And one more thing…." Eli felt Daryl's gaze on the back of her neck, knew he was lookin at her, and she wasn't looking forward to explaining the next piece of information with him on their afternoon together. "She don't have any hearing in her right ear. At all. Her left is mostly there, but it ain't a hundred percent either. Meaning she can't hear when somethin's sneakin up on her, and she's still getting used to it. Adjustin'. So just keep a good eye on her, don't let her out of your site please… sorry to be so over bearing, I know you're not stupid…. I'm just nervous. She's always with me…."

She felt a tug at her sleeve, she looked down and Sarah's big blue eyes, her mother's eyes, were lookin up at her, pleadin with her. "Auntie, I'm gonna be fine. Please go. Please? You'll have fun… You need to… right?"

Eli laughed, grabbed a hold of the hair on top her head gently. "Right… I forget sometimes that you know better than me."

Sarah smiled, leaned in and hugged Eli around her neck. "I always will too Auntie, you should just go on and accept it now, it'll make it easier on down the line." She planted a big kiss on Eli's cheek. "Go hunt somethin', bring us back some dinner, somethin' yummy!"

Eli stood up, stumbling backward a little on her way up, she could be so damn clumsy sometimes. Daryl was there behind her thought, caught her by placing his hand on her lower back. She felt like her skin was on fire there for a minute, but quickly shook it off. She was just happy he was back is all… she needed to stop imagining things that weren't there. "You ready?"

"Sure, let's get goin'."

She gave Sarah another quick hug, thanked Carol again and walked next to Daryl, heading towards the west section of the woods, her territory. No one hunted there but her, and now she was letting Daryl in to her world. This was a first, she liked that it was the other way around. The shoe being on the other foot and things like that. But mainly, she just liked that she and Daryl were going to walk in the woods together again. It felt like it had been entirely too long.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Daryl had settled in at an easy stride a few feet behind Eli, both of them being extra careful to be quiet. It was actually kind of a relief, not havin' to talk that much. It certainly felt easier to just be walking with her, lettin' her lead the way. She seemed to know where she was going pretty well, and it was nice to not have to be the one always takin' the lead. Come to think of it, she was the only other person besides Merle that Daryl trusted out in the woods like this. He knew that she wouldn't fuck up and take him somewhere dangerous or unfamiliar… although most things were dangerous and unfamiliar these days.

He let his eyes settle on her in front of him. She was lookin' every which way, her bow strapped to her back with her quiver attached. He could tell just by looking at them that she had made most of them herself. Probably outta shit that she found out here on days just like this. Her eyes darted around but she wasn't holding her weapon, so he guessed that the area was relatively safe. They had been on a steady incline for about an hour, Daryl had guessed. Where ever they were going, it was far from where they had just been. That suited him just fine. Then he saw it, hanging off her belt behind her bow, a very large hunting knife in a holster, swinging back and forth when she walked. She didn't even have it hooked in there right for shit's sake.

"I thought you hated knives."

His voice had startled her, her hand instinctually moving back to her bow before she realized it was just him. She stopped, but didn't turn around. Only gave him half her face to see, wouldn't even look in his eyes when she answered him. "Yeah well things change, or haven't you noticed?" She continued walking and he started again behind her, sighing heavily.

"Do you always have to be a wise ass with me? Can't you just give me a straight answer or do you always have to sound like such a bitch?" He spit the words at her, who the hell did she think she was anyway? He was sick of her attitude, tired of tryin' to make her smile. She was always the happy one before, it was _her_ job to make _him_ smile. Always had been… but things change. Just like she said.

She whipped around this time, obviously more comfortable with anger then being given the task of explaining herself honestly. Sometimes anger was the only weapon that Daryl had against her, because he knew eventually she ran out of steam, usually before he was ready to throw his hands and give up…. She never really made things too easy when she was pissed off, always had to have the last word, just like him. On the rare occasions they did fight, it'd always get nasty, personal, hurtful. Take them days, weeks to make up. They always had though… even through all this they had found each other and began the painful process of forgiving each other. He knew had just pushed her "bitch" button though, he had meant to. She hated it when anyone called her that, especially men. Said it was just a word men used to describe strong women because it made them uncomfortable. Shit, she was probably right.

"I don't know who the FUCK you think you are, but don't ever call me a bitch again or I'll beat your fuckin' face in." Her face was burning red, and Daryl pushed it further, laughed right out loud.

"Oh yah? You'll 'beat my fuckin' face in' Eli? Give me a god damn break, you are too much sometimes. I was just pointin' out that I was only askin' u a damn question, and you answered me like I had insulted you or something… you don't always have to be so angry with me. What's the point anymore, really?" He was quietly speaking now, taking in the emotions that were flying across her face at insane speeds. She had gone from angry, to blank, to defeated. There was a sadness in her eyes so heavy he could almost see it seeping out of her pores. She leaned over and put her hands on her knees, like she was gonna be sick or somethin'.

"You're right, I know you are, I'm sorry." The words came out of her mouth so low that he wasn't sure he had heard right. "There is no point to that anymore. It don't matter how mad I am… I can't keep actin like this… just feels like the only option sometimes. Especially with Merle, and you I'm seein now." She leaned back and sat down on the dirt and leaves, crossed her legs and leaned her head all the way down so he couldn't see her face. He wasn't lettin' her do this, hide inside herself like she had the habit of doin'. He set down his crossbow and plopped himself down right next to her, so she couldn't pull her face away if she even tried. He'd still be able to see her, she couldn't keep that from him anymore. Not after what they had just gone through. Was she crazy?

"I don't want to waste anymore time treatin' you anything less than perfect, so stop bein' so mean so I can have the chance to do what I want." He smirked at her…. And just like that there it was. That smile… her beautiful smile she had kept from him since they found one another. He felt like his whole heart was caving in. They sat like that for a minute, actually lettin' themselves enjoy the moment thrust upon them. Quiet and slowly paced. He felt the sun shine down on him, warming him. Looked at the way it made her look, shoulders and nose covered in tiny freckles. He had noticed earlier the muscle she had put on. She was always so skinny before, and now she looked… stronger? Her muscles lean and taught, meat on her bones. When so many were starvin' how had she and these others managed this? He'd ask later.

"I'll stop bein' mean to you, promise… unless you deserve it." She looked him sideways, both of em smiling. She let a laugh out. God, she had the best laugh… the whole world shook when she laughed sometimes, she never held back. He remembered when they had gone to go see 'Horrible Bosses' in the theatre together, she was laughin so loud someone had thrown popcorn at them from behind… the memory caused Daryl to let go along with her. He had climbed over the seats behind him, chasin' the kids out of the back door of the theatre where they had snuck in. Later on that day she had teased him, chased him with a stick she pretended was a cane, yellin "You damn popcorn throwin' little shits, get outta off my lawn! Turn down that damn rap music… you kids with your hippin' and your hoppin'!"

No one had ever made him laugh so much in his life. She should get a trophy for making such an ass out of herself just to see him happy. God… he loved that about her…. What didn't he love about her?

"I hate carryin' this thing." She admitted, lookin him in the eye. "But like, I said, things are different now. When Sarah went deaf in that ear of hers.." At the mention of this Daryl straightened up a bit. "There were so many walkers that came out after, when we were runnin." She swallowed hard, "One got too close for my comfort… and I didn't have anything to defend myself with. We fell backwards and I saw a pipe out of the corner of my eye, grabbed a hold of it and beat that monster to death, ever since then I've carried this thing. I don't want to ever have to do that again... Sarah was screamin' the whole time… She wouldn't stop. She couldn't understand why she wasn't able to hear, didn't understand what was happenin' in front of her. Up until then I hadn't killed one myself… I think it scared of her. She's looked at me different ever since Daryl."

He wasn't going to push it and ask exactly how Sarah lost her hearing, what had happened to make the walkers come out. She had just shared all this with him, apologized, given him that smile he missed more then he remembered ever missin' anthing in his whole fuckin' life. She got up and held out her hand, he grabbed a hold and she tugged him up. They both brushed themselves off and Eli nodded up to what looked like the last leg of the hill they were on. "Come on, I want to show you somethin'."

He couldn't have wanted to follow her more if he tried.


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter was inspired by a picture I've had in my head for a long time. A place like this seems perfect and I wanted Daryl and Eli to share it in this story. I'm enjoying writing this so much, and things are only going to escalate from here. I hope everyone enjoys, and thanks again for the reviews, your words always make me happy! Thank you all so much!**

**Chapter Twelve**

They were almost at the top, and she was getting anxious. She hadn't shown this to anyone, wanted it just for her, and yet when she and Daryl began their journey together for some reason there wasn't any other place she had wanted to go. Eli _wanted_ Daryl to see it… wanted him to have a place like this to go in case he needed it. He felt like the only person left on the planet that might be deserving of that. She looked behind her and nodded upward. "Just a couple more minutes, it's going to be pretty rocky the rest of the way so watch your footing."

They continued on, stepping carefully on any surface big enough to hold them, holding on to tree branches for support. She turned and extended her hand as she reached the top. He took it and she gave him a little tug. She looked out, head slowly moving from one side to the other, taking it all in.

"Wow…" Daryl's eyebrows were raised as he looked around. "What is this place?"

Eli smiled and set her bow down, took her knife off her belt loop and sat down, letting her legs dangle over the side of the cliff they were on. Daryl could see from where they were standing there was an even higher cliff a about 35 yards up, and looking down made him feel so small.

They were in a rock quarry, different levels of cliffs surrounding them, with a pool of clear water about 40 feet down from where they were. "How deep is that?" He asked. He had already guessed that she had tested this, jumping from different heights, if she spent enough time up here there's no way she hadn't tried it. The girl was too dangerous for her own good.

"Deep… deep enough to where if we jumped right now we wouldn't him bottom." She looked up at the sight about twenty feet above their head and pointed. "I figured this is where I'd draw the line as far as how high I'd go. The only other safe spot to actually jump from is up there, and it's way too high… I'd be afraid of really hurting myself, maybe even dyin', and with everything else I didn't want to risk killin' myself in this place. No one would ever find me…" She trailed off. Didn't intend on finishin' that thought in his presence. She looked over to him and gave him a little smile. "So? What do you think?"

He nodded at her and said "It's beautiful. I bet you loved that you were the one to find it."

"No Daryl," She laughed a little and gestured over the cliff toward the pool beneath them. "I mean what do you think about this, jumping… from this high?"

He gave her a stern look . "You know I hate heights, that ain't changed about me girl, ain't no way I'm jumpin'."

"What if said that if you jumped with me, hand in hand, right now, I'd sleep with you when we got to the bottom?"

His head shot up to and he met her eyes. She was smirkin' at him… what the hell was this? Was she kidding? And if she wasn't kidding… what the hell was gonna do? He felt scared for the first time in a long time. This was unexpected, was she just messing with him? "I don't- I never thought… you know, um…"

She tilted her head back and laughed so loud that if there were walkers in ten mile radius they would be there real soon. He felt his face go red, why was she laughing at him? Did she have to go and make him feel foolish on top of asking him that question like it was nothin'? "What's so damn funny?" He scowled at her.

She grew quiet and wiped at her eyes. "I just wanted to check is all… see if that had changed along with everything else."

"What the hell are you talkin' about Eli?" He was getting pissed now. Nothin' had changed about him, he was the same. What was she getting at?

"I just wanted to make sure you still felt the same about me, that being without me, thinkin' I was dead, didn't affect that. And I was right, and it's a weird relief. Knowing."

"I didn't even answer you Eli."

"You didn't have to." She walked up to the edge and lifted up her foot, dangling it over the edge. She turned to him, her eyes misted over. "You would have jumped."

And just like that she was gone, He ran up to the edge after her, instinctually reaching out to prevent her from falling, but she fell anyways. He watched her travel all the way down, hitting that water so fast. He held his breath until he saw her head poke out, looking up at him. "Woo! So refreshing my friend! She hollered up at him. "Well? You comin'? You too chicken shit Daryl Dixon?"

He shook his head at her. No way was he jumpin in there, especially not after that stunt she just pulled. Even if he did jump she had just been screwin' with his head anyway, so there was no way on god's green earth he was jumpin in that water. "I'm coming down around the side, I'll grab your stuff."

Once he reached the bottom he found her sitting on the small sandy patch right at the edge of the water, wringing her hair out. He looked up at where she had jumped from, it seemed even higher than when he was standing there.

She looked back at him, standin' there with her things in his hand, lookin at the cliffs looming above them. She had known he wouldn't jump, that the only thing that might make him want to is a promise like that, or her life being at risk. She knew she had probably pushed it a little too far with that question, opened a door that had been shut for years, she knew she screwed up… and not just for him. Because now, seein him standin' here right in front of her, it was like she didn't have to be afraid of anything. And it made her feel something she didn't understand. She stepped up to him, put her hand on his shoulder and made him look at her.

"I'm sorry I said that up there, I was just askin' cuz… well I don't really know why. Part of me wanted to know if you still felt the same way about me."

He had a sour look on his face. "What is it that you're assumin' anyhow? That I woulda jumped off that fuckin cliff just for a chance at gettin' in your pants? Do you really have that high of an opinion of yourself?"

She had made him really mad, and she knew that this whole thing was her fault. Why'd she have to be such a jerk sometimes? "No I don't Daryl, I just thought I knew something about the way you felt for me back then… before all this madness. We're friends, I know that, but you said you thought we were a team…. The reason you thought that is because we are. And I know part of the reason it's stayed that way is because you felt like maybe someday, I'd want you back." She shook her head at how selfish she sounded. "I know I'm horrible, I'm sorry. I am just afraid that you would leave if you didn't think there was a chance."

"So now, not only did you just assume that I wanted to sleep with you, you're claimin' you knew this shit all along? And on top of it, you think I'm gonna leave unless I think you're gonna fuck me one day? What the hell is wrong with you Eli? Why would I ever do that to you, huh? Give me some fuckin' credit."

She was silenced by his words. Felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet just then. She stepped closer to him, letting herself settle in just inches from him. He stared down at her, his whole body clenched. They had never talked about this kind of thing before, and to have her so close to him after was making him nervous. "I'm sorry Daryl, I guess sometimes I just don't like myself too much, and it's difficult for me to really believe that anyone could want to keep me around unless they thought that I'd… well you know." His eyes were softening a little, but his body wouldn't relax. She placed her other hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in. He didn't hug her back at first, but eventually his hands found her back. One of them traveled up and landed on the back of her head, pulling her closer, squeezing tight. She placed her cheek against his and gave him a light kiss on the temple, "Thank you for being better to me than any other man ever has. Thank you for sticking around." She whispered. He let go of her then and looked a little sheepish. Gave her a light nudge on the shoulder, obviously uncomfortable with the closeness they seemed to be sharing. The thought that she might actually think he was good enough for her was enough to give him a panic attack. He couldn't understand what was happening, if he even wanted it to happen, he just knew that right then if she had stayed pressed up against him like for one more second he would have just grabbed her by her face and kissed her. Not even bothered to ask. He didn't know if she wanted him to, the only other time he had tried she turned him away, why would he want to try again if that's what would happen? He'd just embarrass himself… but with her saying these things to him and not seemin' to mind the lack of physical distance between them he had to wonder… would he really embarrass himself? Or would she kiss him back? Were women always this damn confusing?

She sat back down and patted the ground next to her. "Let's stay here a bit, I don't want to head back just yet. I like it out here…takes all the pain out for at least a little while. Don't you want to forget the world for just a few minutes? That's what this place is for."

He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as her head rested against his chest. She could hear his heart beating, loud and strong, and thought that she couldn't have been happier at that moment. That he was the person she should be sharing things like this with. Her whole body relaxed in to his. They sat there for a long time in silence, and she thought that she couldn't remember the last time she felt this safe.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

They were almost back, probably another twenty minutes or so. They had stayed at that watering hole for over an hour, just sitting there without having to say anything to fill the silence. Once up to where they had first stood at the edge of the cliff, Eli looked at Daryl, didn't say a word, just slipped her hand into his. They walked like that almost the whole way back, like it was nothing for them to be moving along hand in hand. Like the couple that he had so badly wanted to be 4 years ago. It was the strangest he could ever remember feeling. As they approached Eli let his hand go, looked at him apologetically and said "I don't really care to let go right now, but I don't want Sarah to see… get the wrong idea I guess. Everything's so confusing for her now you know?"

Daryl nodded. He was always trying to keep up with what she wanted. He was feeling a little sick of it… she could tell. "I'm sorry Daryl. Can I just say one thing before you decide to be mad at me for the rest of the night?" He stifled a smile and nodded. "Like I said, I don't care to let go right now… would have stayed out in those woods with you forever, fallen asleep under the stars like we did back at the cottage when we'd go up for weekend visits… you remember? You and I, a fire and a sky full of stars… but those next mornings, what did I do?"

Daryl shrugged even though he knew what was coming. Knew she was right even though it made him want to put his fist through a wall. "I'd get up… start a pot of coffee before anyone even moved. I watched the sunrise… on my own. Made breakfast on my own and waited for everyone to stir… and when they had no one was the wiser. Sarah and Em… they wouldn't have a million questions for me. Sarah wouldn't expect that all of a sudden you would love me…"

Daryl stared at her. His shoulders rose a little, like if he let himself relax he'd never be able to protect himself from her ever again. This girl would be the death of him if he didn't keep his guard up… and for the first time ever, he realized that she felt the exact same way about him. Had from the very beginning.

"I'm not going to allow her to start to believe in anything like, well like this." She gestured to them both. "She's believed in a lot in her life, and just about everything has left her disappointed… I can't be another let down for her. You can't either. She loves you so much Daryl… she was the only person that KNEW you were still alive. I can't ruin any type of family she might feel with us. I've ruined too many things in my life… I can't fail her."

Daryl nodded, noticed the way she was wringing her hands together so tight they were turning red. He reached out and grabbed them both, held on tight. "I'm not gonna do anything to hurt you, and I don't expect anything from you that you ain't willin' to give. So stop being so afraid of lettin' everyone down Eli… You're doin just fine."

Her bottom lip quivered, eyes glazed over. This was always the closest Daryl ever saw her come to crying. Eli, she wasn't a crier. He hated thinkin that he had made her sad, never wanted her to be sad again for her whole life… 'just take it easy' he told himself. 'be patient for once in your life. It's worth it…'

They both wandered into camp, saw Rob with his wife Joanne and their girl Maddie by the fire. Lori, Rick and Carl were out there too, with Glenn and Maggie sitting in a hammock a few feet away. Cuddling like they were high school sweethearts or something. Sarah and Carol were sitting a little farther away from everyone. Sarah was listening to something Carol was saying with such intensity that she didn't even notice the two of em' walkin' up to meet everyone. "Hey you two, get anything out there today?" Rick called out, waving his hand to them. Sarah's head popped out, but only for a second.

"Nah, wasn't lookin' to hard to be honest." Eli stated simply. "We'll still eat just fine tonight. Think I just needed a day with no responsibility… and thank you all so much for letting me have that." Daryl had never heard her be so candid with people. She was especially speakin' at Lori and Rick… and She and Lori shared a look… mutual respect he guessed. Eli turned her attention to Sarah and Carol, walked over to them… Daryl stepped back a little. Started a conversation with Maggie and Glenn… he didn't want to follow her around. He felt foolish about all that was said that day. The honesty floating between them like it was normal, when both of them really felt the weight of it. Neither of them were good at feelings. They had accepted that about each other before… but now it seemed like something they couldn't just brush aside. They had to talk about it… because at any moment one of them could be gone. And the other is left there without a chance to make it right. They had both felt that before Daryl found his way to her, and neither of them wanted to experience that ever again.

"Thank you Carol, for keepin' and eye on her." Carol looked up and nodded at Eli. "What are you two talkin' about over here anyway?"

Sarah hopped up and wrapped her arms around Eli's waist. "She was tellin' me stories about Daryl auntie…. So many of em'…. He looked for Sophia, that's Carol's daughter, every single day! He even got stuck with an arrow, didn't ya Uncle Daryl?"

Daryl slowly walked over, nodding. Eli's eyes were locked on his. Something was waking up behind those eyes, they were filled with admiration. Daryl didn't know what to make of it… so he just kept talking. Told the truth in a way he wasn't even sure Carol had heard before. He knew everyone could hear him but for some reason it was the last thing on his mind, when usually it was at the forefront of most of his thoughts. Never letting any of them figure him out. Giving them as little information as possible. He made everyone work for his trust, it had been that way his whole damn life. But now, he didn't care. She made him feel like it was okay to tell the truth. He wanted Sarah to know anyway… to know that what he had done for Sophia he would do for her twenty times over. That he'd never leave a child out in the cold like that… wouldn't let go of the thought that they were alive unless the opposite were thrown at him like what happened to Sophia. He couldn't let himself imagine what would happen if he saw Sarah that way… nothing behind her eyes. Skin rotting off her small frame. Only ten years old… or was it eleven now? No, he couldn't picture it. Wouldn't let himself.

"But what happened Carol?" Sarah's eyes fixed on Carol's…. tears streaming down her face… She coughed and glanced away. Sarah looked at her like her whole heart was breaking for her. Daryl couldn't understand how a little girl like that knew people so well… wanted to help everyone she met. There was nothing she couldn't do… she was the superman without the cape. She was the one that deserved that title… not Daryl.

"We found her in the barn, she walked out after the rest of em'." Sarah's eyes were fixed on her, Eli had her arm wrapped around Sarah so tight that it looked like she would never be able to let go. He just looked down at Carol, wondering if she would continue. How could this be easy for her? How was Sarah dragging this story out right now, and Carol seemed okay with it? He was never going to understand these women… these women that cared about him. More than anyone ever had in his whole life. More than Merle. More than his piece of shit father… these women needed him. What a wonderfully scary feeling. "Rick… well he did what had to be done."

Sarah had tears running down her face. She was never afraid to cry.

Carol smiled vaguely at something. "He gave me that rose you know." She looked right up at Daryl, this being the first time she'd spoken about this with anyone, even him. "He brought me that beautiful flower, told me he believed she was still out there, because he believed it too. Told me a wonderful story… made me feel hope again Sarah." She was looking back at her again. "You know how lucky you are to have a man like Daryl lookin after ya, dontcha?"

Sarah smiled, reached up slow and ran the tip of her index finger along the tear streak on Carol's cheek… Eli had put her hand over her mouth and Daryl didn't know what to do. So this is how much Sarah had changed since they'd seen each other last… she'd grown up. She was an adult in a child's body… wise and unbroken by what she had seen. Still believed in people's ability to be humane… the good they kept inside them. Still wanted to help every person she saw cryin', wanted to make them smile or forget why they were cryin' in the first place, even if it were only for one minute. 'Eli should be proud.' Daryl thought to himself. 'The world falls to pieces around them, and she has still made it so this girl has some hope…. Sarah still knew what it was to be human.'

"I know that more than I know most things." Sarah replied.

Daryl's heart caught in his chest at this. Eli was looking up at him with something in her eyes that he had always missed seeing… gratitude.

And Eli _was_ grateful. How had this happened to her, she wondered. She had met the perfect man, someone who knew her, understood her… loved her anyway… how was she ever going to repay him for what he had done for her? She owed him her life, for more reasons than one. She didn't know if she was better off in the world they occupied before. One where she didn't know how much he loved her. Or this world they lived and survived in now, with so much ugliness around them, and still one beautiful thing that had been there all along. Daryl Dixon, as he should be. The one person on this planet that protected them through anything, would give his life for them... and that fact would never come to question in Eli's mind again.


	14. Chapter 14

**I decided to write this chapter from both of their perspectives on the same topic... see how it came out. I want to get them together soon, just waiting for what feels like the right time to me I guess. Thanks for the reviews, and I hope everyone enjoys, god knows i've LOOOOVED writing it!  
**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Eli

"Oh please, I wouldn't even know where to begin that conversation!" Eli shook her head at Lori and Maggie. Here they were, tryin' to convince her participate in this ridiculous… triple… quadruple date she was figurin'. It was the silliest thing she'd ever heard… and kind of terrifyin' to boot. They were in the large kitchen inside the living quarters of the building they had come to call home. After Eli's day out in the woods with Daryl, they had gone their own ways mostly. Only gettin' together when it was time to eat, or if Sarah wanted to talk to them at the same time, somethin' along those lines. The past few days had been spent showin' the newcomers the ropes. Explainin' what this was, what that was. Where to go, where not to go. She had taken the women to the fenced in cattle area where there were about 14 to 15 heads of cattle. Shown them the chicken coop where they were gettin' all those eggs for the big breakfasts they made each morning. Eli had decided to take Maggie and Herschel to the garden on their own, seein' as how they used to be farmers themselves. Eli had begun working on the forty by forty foot garden the very first day she and the others had found their safe haven. When they stumbled upon this place she noticed the sorry state of the tomato plants from a mile away. Decided that'd be a part of how she contributed. Sarah loved comin' out there with her, was tryin' to learn everything she could about havin' a green thumb just in case she needed to know… in case Eli wasn't around anymore. Eli didn't tell Sarah that's why she was teachin' her, didn't think it was important for her to know that detail. Maggie's face had lit up when she brought her and her father there. "It's just beautiful!" She had exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear, leanin' her head against her father's shoulder. They just stood there, hangin' on to each other, lookin' at this little slice of heaven in all the hell around them. Eli had given them this moment, she couldn't have felt better about it. Man, these people were starting to grow on her. She was becomin' attached, she could especially feel it with Carl and Lori. The love that woman felt for her son, the strength she had and was passing on to him was remarkable. Rick was always there as their strong hold, a rock for them to lean against when they needed, protected them no matter what… god she wanted that.

"What do you mean? Just ask him if he wants to have dinner with all of us Eli, it's not that hard." Lori was leaned over the sink cleanin' one of the chickens they had just taken for dinner. "He'd say yes a million times if you were the one askin'… if any of us came up and asked he'd think we were forcin' you guys into this."

"Yeah, and he'd be right." Eli snapped. She was rippin' up heads of lettuce, rich and green, full of flavor. Man, dinner was gonna be good tonight. "He doesn't do anything he don't wanna do, and neither do I. If we wanted to go out on a… a date… we would have done that already."

Maggie snorted in her direction, Carol had just walked into the kitchen with about two dozen eggs in a basket, takin them out back to the large walk in cooler. They only opened it twice a day to put in or take out what they needed, and to take inventory. They shut it off for about 8 hours every night to prevent eatin' up the juice in the generators. They needed to hold that off for as long as possible. She and Justin had done the math and figured they had about another 6 months or so of those generators holding up the fences. They could figure out food a different way, that's why they weren't shy about eatin' up what was in those huge freezers, cuz they knew eventually it'd go bad anyway. Why not take advantage while they could? No way to save all that meat if there was no refrigeration… Eli had made that very clear to the rest of them. Don't worry about over eating. Put meat on your bones while it's here, because eventually it won' around any longer.

"Oh please Eli." Maggie retorted, Carol had settled in next to her, washing the soft down feathers off the eggs in another one of the many sinks available to them. At least they'd have water for a while. "The only reason you haven't is cuz you'd both run away like scared bunny rabbits or somethin' like that… close enough." She stated as Eli started gigglin' at her analogy. "Whatever El, you know what I mean!"

Maggie has started callin' her that… El… Em's old nickname for her. She couldn't help but smile at how much her name got shortened as time went by. Elizabeth, to Eli, to just plain El. She loved them all.

"Yah I know what you mean. But you're wrong. I put that poor man through hell." The smile dropped from her face, she slumped against the counter next to Lori, watchin her workin that chicken over somethin' fierce. Eli looked up and met her gaze that Lori had kept on her almost the whole time this conversation had been going on. Lori was one of those people, the kind that could see right through the lies you told. Saw the truth in people. She intimidated the hell out of Eli, and that wasn't an easy feat to pull off. Eli wasn't afraid of her, not like that… she was just intimidated by living in the same building as someone she wanted to be like in so many ways. Lori had shared a lot with Eli as well the past few nights. The first evening without the men, they had taken a night walk around the perimeter, the women stayed behind, tucked the children into bed, and wandered down to the wine cellar Eli was waiting to surprise them with. All the women had traveled down, Joanne and Cassie and everyone, and took at least a half an hour to pick out the few bottles they wanted to bring back upstairs. That night they had sat around the kitchen counters, on the floors, Maggie had even decided (after quite a few glasses of chardonnay) to test out the drawers by the sink to see how strong they were. She had hopped up and landed her ass right in the middle of the drawer after pulling it out… let's just say it didn't hold up. Had collapsed almost immediately. They all fell over in laughter, crying and coughing they were laughing so hard. That night had begun to change the way she felt about these women she was going to be spending all her time with from now on. She had never been friends with girls much before everything went down. They never really seemed to like her, and Eli didn't care for most of them. She didn't put much thought into why. And now, with this group of women surrounding her, different in too many ways to count, she had finally felt the friendship she had been missing out on since birth. They all had something very important in common, they had survived. Each and every one of them were strong in their own ways, had made it through hell and back, and still knew how to have a good laugh… too bad all the men in this little family didn't share that trait.

"So what?" Joanne looked up at her from the doorway of the kitchen. "So what if you've put him through hell? You've been through hell too Eli, we all know that." She shook her head. "And that… brother of his… he's put you through plenty-"

"Daryl ain't nothin' like Merle." Eli instantly jumped to his defense, felt heat risin' up in her chest "Nothin like him at all. He's rough around the edges sure, got a harshness to him, certainly isn't the easiest person in the world to get along with… but he ain't Merle. Merle's broken. His heart is cold Joanne. Daryl's is still alive and well."

Maggie was smilin' at her so hard she felt like hittin her. Eli was pissed right now, why the hell was she smilin' like a damn goofball at her? "What?" She snapped.

"It's just funny to me is all." She shrugged, looking away.

"What's funny?"

She looked over at Eli, smile still plastered on her face, but was obviously proceeding with some sense of caution. "It's funny that ten minutes ago you were laughin' at the idea that a bunch of us have a nice dinner together, and now you couldn't have jumped down her throat faster to come to Daryl's rescue, practically bit her head right off." Eli turned red and looked at Joanne apologetically. She nodded, givin' her a small smile. "I just don't understand how you can't see it too."

"Oh she can," Cassie quipped, smirkin at her. "She just don't care to. Doesn't want to admit a damn thing, do ya honey?"

Eli hated it when Cassie would get all mothery and condescendin' with her. "It's none of anyone's business anyways. I don't want ask him, and that's it, alright?" She sighed, starin' out the window at all the men standin' around Justin's truck, talkin' about the next scoutin' trip into town she was guessin' It was comin up pretty quick. "He's barely talked to me past few days anyway. He probably wouldn't want to… and I don't know if it's what I want anyway." She was bein' dead honest with these women now, had all of their attention. "It's so complicated… and I know that everything is complicated these days… but we were tangled up and confused before. After Em passed…" She felt the familiar tears well up in her eyes, she wouldn't let them ever escape. The women were so silent you coulda heard a pin drop. "He took care a us, he did. He didn't mind either. He said he wanted to be there, but I always just thought it was cuz his life was so full of just… shit. Just horrible, undeserved bullshit. I made him feel like things could be better, but I'd never be the woman he actually needed to be happy. I know that. I know I'm no good like that, never will be. He deserves better then whoever the hell I am."

It was quiet for a few moments, then Lori spoke up, lookin' thoughtfully out the window along side of her. "He's probably out there right now, thinkin' the same damn thing about you."

Daryl

The sun was settin' fast, he knew that if he wanted to get any time in out on the boat haulin' in fish for dinner he'd better get to it now. Merle had already asked him to come along, and the two of em' were gettin' along the past however many days. He wanted to keep that up. It did mean spending less time with the Eli and Sarah… but he figured it'd better to stay on his brother's good side for now. He'd be more apt to listen to Daryl down the line if that were the case.

All the kids were sittin on the bank of the river, Carol and Justin sitting however many feet away, keepin' an eye on them. He was happy that Carol had these children to watch after. Knew it gave her a sense of purpose. And that Justin guy, well he was alright by Daryl. Rob too, and those two boys Ryan and Nathan. They were respectful kids, good to their mother. Rob and his wife Joanne were the happiest damn couple on the planet it seemed, cared about their daughter like the sun shone right out a her. Then again, all the children got this treatment from the adults. Something about these kids, Sarah, Carl, Maddie… they reminded them all on a daily basis that life was worth living. That it went on. That good still existed on this earth. Daryl could see how if he ever had his own it he would do anything to protect them… love em' more than life itself. Nothin' else to do really, if you were a parent. Anything less ruins a child for life. That's something Daryl and Merle… shit, Eli too, something they all knew too well. How badly a parent can fuck you up. Leave you with all the faults they had, and a little extra dysfunction, just for you

He, Merle, Jeremy and Glenn were about to go out on the river, were throwin' all their gear in the back of the boat. Glenn was startin' to look a little more comfortable with these trips. The first night Merle had recruited him, pretty much told him he was gonna put Glenn to work out on that boat because quote "All you Asians are fast and shit, like fuckin ninjas. You'd come in handy in most situations there chinaman. You useful to have around." The comment had left Glenn silent, Maggie fumin' and Daryl feelin a little put off. He hadn't given a shit before about this kid, probably woulda said the same damn thing about him Merle did…. But things were different now, and he didn't like the way Merle wasn't treatin Glenn. Daryl made a point to look out for him while they were out their tryin' to catch some dinner, protected him a bit, from his brother. T-Dog hadn't ever been invited, and Daryl knew why… which bothered him all the more. What was it that Merle thought he had over these men cuz of the color of their skin anyways? Just another little fault their old man had left behind for Merle. Daryl, for some unknown reason, never really fell for that. Never believed a word of it. Said he did, was the best way not to get smacked around, agreein with his pops. But now he wasn't here, Daryl was a man, and Merle needed to learn to shut the fuck up.

"Hey… Daryl?" Her voice called out from a few feet away from the shore, timid and quiet, her voice was never like that. He caught Merle shoot him a look when she approached, but he simply looked away and ignored his glare. "Hey, can I talk to you a minute, 'fore you take off?"

"He's busy, little girl. Go on now, leave him be, he's got work to do." Merle spit at her from the bow of the boat, not shy about sayin exactly what he knew would get under her skin.

"We all have work to do _Merle…._" She stared daggers at him, never broke his gaze. "I'm asking _Daryl_ to talk, not you, so you best shut the hell up now, cuz you got no place in this conversation."

"Woah, no need to get hostile, wouldn't want you tryin' to… hurt me." He let out a mocking laugh and Jeremy was right along with him. Daryl hated that fuckin' kid.

"Merle, just give it a fuckin rest alright? I'll be there in a minute." Daryl stepped off the small dock and made his way up to her on the beach. She was lookin' down at the ground, kickin some of the sand gently with her bare feet. She looked afraid of him, and he didn't understand why… had he done something to frighten her? The thought made him feel a little sick. He had pretty much stayed away from her since that day in the woods, when things were said that had never been said. Holding hands the whole way back… what was that? Was she angry with him for ignoring him? Was she scared he was mad at her? He hated askin' himself all these stupid questions. Why couldn't she just say what the hell she was thinkin?

Probably the same reason he couldn't. They had never been too good at it.

She stepped down a bit to meet him, got in close like she had almost a week back, the weirdest damn day they'd ever spent together. "A coupla the other women were thinkin' of havin' a dinner tomorrow night, like a nice one, in the rec room downstairs. They were gonna cook and all, have nice wine…. Stuff like that. They asked me if I thought you might wanna come?"

He didn't understand. "Whatchu mean? Why wouldn't everyone want to come? That sounds like a nice time… we all don't always gotta sit out by the fire to eat. We should all have dinner in-"

She cut him off quickly, with a catch in her voice… fear. "It's not for everyone." She said, her eyes darting around, landing anywhere but his eyes.

He stood up a little straighter, took in the sight of her actin' this way. He'd seen Eli act out a million different emotions, but this wasn't ever one of em'. Nervousness, lookin' all skiddish and uncomfortable in her own skin. "Well, what is this dinner then?"

She kept starin' down at her feet. "Well… Lori was gonna have Rick come with her, and Maggie was invitin' Glenn…. Joanne and Rob… and they thought that… well that I could have you be the one that I'd invite…if I were to go, you know?"

The reality of what was happenin' hit him like a ton of bricks. She was askin' him out on a date. The closest you could come to a date these days. That's what she had been gettin' at, and it made her so nervous that her skin was turnin' red. Daryl couldn't help but enjoy her sheepishness just a little. The fact that she had been nervous to ask him out, which is somethin' he would have said yes to in a heartbeat under any circumstances, seemed comical in a sad way to him. How could she possibly think he'd say anything but yes? He knew he couldn't approach it that way though. If she wanted him to know it was a date that's what she would have called it. He decided he'd better proceed with caution, or this situation might never come up again… ever.

"Well, that sounds kinda cool I guess." He said. She squirmed a little and met his eyes. He stared at her for a few moments and smirked at her "I'd like that, sunflower eyes."

Eli's head moved back a little. He used to call her that all the time, had stopped that past year or so, after Em died. That was one of her nicknames for Eli, and Daryl had just sort of adopted it. Her eyes were a beautiful green, and they got slightly more yellow the further away from the pupil it was. Givin' her that look, like there was a whole garden behind those eyes. They were one of her best features, those eyes that held so much. She smiled at him, slowly, waiting to gauge his reaction to her proposal. He smiled right back, wantin to let her know that he wouldn't rather be doin' anything else, but bein' on an actual date with her. "Okay then, alright." She laughed a little and looked over in Sarah's direction. "We'll get them to bed a little early. We're gonna cook steak I think, pick out some good wine. It'll be… fun." Fun… what a strange thing to hope for these days.

He reached down and squeezed her hand, turned to walk to the boat before letting go. "Sounds like it just might be."


	15. Chapter 15

**I've been experiencing a bit of an inner struggle on how to proceed with this story, just because I want what everyone I'm hoping is reading this wants, for them to get over it and get together! I'm gonna follow my gut a little on this one, and see where it takes me. Lord knows they are on the right track, I'm going to try and make this connection between them as deep as I can. Also, this chapter was pretty therapeutic for me to write. Since when did having a creative outlet help with problems you thought were unfixable? It's pretty remarkable from my standpoint. Either way, we'll see how it all turns out! Review and let me know what you think, it's always good to hear feedback, it's encouraging. Thanks everyone for reading!**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The thought of the impending evening was making Eli more anxious that she previously thought possible. She had looked in her and Sarah's closet, and realized most of what was there was Sarah's. Eli hadn't cared to pack too much for herself when they ran… she wanted to make sure Sarah was taken care of, and she'd come later, that's how it had to be. She never thought it'd pose as a problem if she didn't have pretty blouses, skirts, anything impractical… and here she was. Trying desperately to find a decent outfit for a dinner date, it would be comical if it wasn't so sad.

"Whatcha doin' Auntie?" Eli jumped about a foot, slamming her head against the top of the door frame… as nice as it was to have a room to themselves, they had landed one with ridiculously low ceilings.

"Dammit Sarah, you scared me." She looked back and her and scowled a little at the smile forming around Sarah's lips. "Oh, you think it's funny me bumpin' my head like that? If you bumped your head I wouldn't laugh at you, so cut it out… now."

The smirk dropped from the girl's face, was quickly replaced with embarrassment. She turned to leave, her lip quivering. Jeez, why the hell did Eli snap at her like that? She hadn't done anything wrong, just sayin' hello.

"Sarah wait!" She reached up to her from the floor where she was kneelin', a pile of clothes that weren't gonna do her any good layin' next to her in a pathetic heap. Sarah looked back at her, waiting… like she'd asked. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to get mean with ya', I'm just… frustrated."

Sarah cocked her head to the side, came and sat on the floor right in front of Eli. "Why? Cuz a the ceilings? They are pretty low huh?" She giggled a little, twirling one of her curls around her index finger. She had on her favorite Atlanta Falcons t-shirt, faded as hell and nearly hung down to her knees. Still wasn't tall enough to fill it out… used to be her mother's favorite shirt. She remembered so many Sunday afternoons, hot as hell outside where they all decided to migrate and set up camp until the sun rose the next mornin'. Em never had to be up before 11:00 a.m. anyways. Second shift had it's advantages. Sarah would be out in the yard, running through the sprinkler with one friend or another from school. Em would be the only one runnin' in every five minutes to check the score, yellin' at the television if it didn't tell her what she wanted to hear. Eli, Merle and Daryl would sit lazily out on the porch, sometimes with a radio, other times… later at night usually, Eli would pull her guitar out, and they'd play before bed. Something that connected those three girls besides blood… music. They had all felt that with those two men as well. Eli hated to admit it, but before Em died, she and Merle had shared moments… where she'd catch him lookin' at her with something close to contentment, listening to her play a song that the woman he was in love with had requested, or the daughter he had cared for like his own had begged her to play. He and Daryl both had the same relationship with an acoustic guitar… the way just a few notes began to heal a broken heart. Neither of them could play, they had other talents to nurture, but this is what Eli was good at. It's what made her happy, something she loved that made other people happy too. Every moment that instrument was in her hand, the song she was meant to sing at that moment in her voice, her life made sense. No matter what had happened to her in the past, what she had gone through, she had this. Had this moment, with these people, her family. The loves of her life, there to fix every broken piece of her. She suddenly wondered what would have happened if the world had kept on like it was almost a year ago. Wondered if she would still be living the way she had been, pushing away the one thing that could make her truly happy from sun up to sun down. Wondering if Merle would have ever come back around, instead of turning into a monster… if Sarah would ever had the compassion, gratitude… zest for life that she does now. Eli still couldn't make heads or tails of Sarah's behavior since that day she had killed the walker so close to her. He bashed in his skull just feet away from her neice, terrified, not just of the zombie that almost took them both… but of this new person in front of her. In Sarah's eyes, something had changed from that day on, and Sarah felt the need to take care of Eli the same way Eli wanted to take care of her. Sarah couldn't watch another mother in her life slip away… she needed to save her. Eli couldn't let Sarah die, plain and simple, because she was the most wonderful girl in any type of world, and Eli just needed her. No matter how selfish it was, Eli could not survive alone in all the darkness and loss without that one last piece of her life that reminded her not _everything_ had fallen apart. But then again… didn't Daryl fall under that category too? There was still more than one person left that Eli couldn't lose, and she needed to get it out of her. Needed to tell someone. She looked her little niece in the eye, knowing she wasn't old enough to fully understand. Didn't know any details, the pain that went along with loving someone. But she couldn't take it anymore, she had to say something. And Sarah was here.

She pulled Sarah close and she laid her head down on Eli's lap. She ran her fingers through Sarah's beautiful hair, kissing her forehead. "I ain't frustrated by the ceilings darlin'. I can't find anything to wear."

Sarah looked confused. "Whatchu mean? Everything too dirty? You can borrow my shirt." She stated, tugging at her falcon's shirt and smiling up at her aunt.

"Nah honey, nothin' like that." She took in a breath, sharp and painful "I want to look nice tonight because I'm havin' dinner with someone, and I wanna look better than someone who just rolled out of a bed made of manure and something even grimier than that on top of it."

Sarah was real quiet for a minute, staring up at the ceiling with a look like she couldn't have delved deeper into her head if she wanted to. She sighed heavily, glanced in Eli's direction… something in her eyes, close to happiness maybe. "Auntie, I don't think Daryl's gonna care if you in a dress or some jammies… do you?"

Eli was taken off guard, didn't know what to take of the fact that Sarah had immediately guessed. Should she be surprised? Eli had never let any emotion out about that man in front of Sarah, but she guessed that didn't mean it had all slipped by unnoticed. How much had Daryl noticed? 'Sunflower eyes." His voice still echoed in her head. Those words escaping his lips had made her feel something she didn't recognize… longing, like something had been missing in her life for so long, and suddenly here it was, right before her on a silver platter, why hadn't she accepted it already for shit's sake?

"You think too much." Sarah had reached up and cupped her small hand under Eli's chin, lifted her whole face up, not letting her hide from the world like she was so fond of doing. "Can't ya just be happy?"

"You are too young honey, things like this are complicated. You don't know how anyone feels until you're in their head. I mean, how would you even know how I feel about that man anyway there little girl?" She closed her eyes, smelt the stale air around her, wondered if she'd ever feel happy again. That question was more loaded that Sarah could have ever guessed. She hadn't lived enough life yet to-

"I know cuz mama tol' me he was the only one you told bout' Uncle Barry. Said you wouldn't a said nothin' to no one for your whole life." Sarah shrugged, misunderstanding completely, thank god, what was really going on. "I know Barry and Gampy got into fights towards the end. Gampy hated him, mama told me so. I never knew why, just knew it was cuz a you. Did you hate Uncle Barry too?"

Eli felt as though she had gotten hit in the chest with a two by four. "Yes, I did. I hated him more than I hated anyone my whole life there darlin'. Even in the old world, way it used to be, there were problems that were unfixable… people that would be evil their whole lives. That man was one of em'…. I saw that faster than anyone else and told Gampy. And Gampy did what had to be done. Made it so none of us ever had to see him again. You never knew Uncle Barry, and you don't ever have to, and that's a good thing. My Daddy made sure a that… made sure that none of us would ever be in danger ever again… ever."

"Danger?" Sarah looked up at her genuinely confused. Then something on her face changed right before Eli's eyes. She held Eli by both her cheeks, let a tear escape. She knew something was wrong with her aunt, she didn't know what, but she knew Eli wasn't feelin' right. And all this talk about this uncle of hers… Sarah didn't understand it. All she knew is it made her auntie sad, and she couldn't look at that for one more second. Eli was never sad… "He's gone, if you afraid of him. He's gone auntie… what are you so worried about now then?"

Eli swallowed hard, choked back tears that had been stuck in her throat since that day in the woods. "I'm worried… I'm worried that I won't be like what he expected Sarah." She was talking to Sarah like she was Em… god she looked like her… she spoke like her, smiled her smile… cried her tears. Bled her blood. She looked at her niece, her daughter… sister, and was more honest than she'd ever had been, probably more than she would ever be again. "What if I disappoint him like I've disappointed everyone in my whole life? Make mess a things like I always do? You and you're mama are the only two good things I ever had anything to do with-"

"You missin' one" Sarah said quietly, silencing Eli with the fat, wet tears in her eyes, so real lookin', like they'd spill out any minute. "You had _you…._ I love my Mom… Emily Margaret Hayes… you had me…. Still have me. But you've always had _you _auntie. What could be more important than that? Don't push Uncle Daryl away… he's loved you since I remember lookin' at that face of his. He loved both of us, but he'd marry you, like with the white dress and everything." Eli couldn't hold it back, let out a choked sob, buried her head in her knees and just cried. "let him in, and maybe you could be happy auntie. Isn't that what you want anyways?" Sarah picked up her aunt's face in her hands, did something she hadn't done in years. Something Em… Eli's beautiful sister… used to do to Sarah when she was a baby. She leaned forward and rubbed the tip of her nose against Eli's… Eskimo kisses is what they were called. How did Sarah remember? Was that something Em shared with her has a mother daughter thing… that Sarah was now passing on to her? Letting Eli in on a secret… letting her inch by inch into Sarah and Em's world. A place Eli desperately wanted to understand.

Emily had told Sarah about Uncle Barry… had told Sarah that Daryl knew… She felt like her whole heart was breaking. All this time Eli had hoped, for reasons she didn't understand, that Daryl never really understood and Sarah never knew a damn thing. She wanted to be angry with Em, but all she had been doing really was trusting the ones she trusted most with helping her sister… helping Eli from destroying herself from the inside out.

"You gotta understand now Auntie, more than anything…" Sarah had laid her head back down on Eli's lap, her eyelids fluttering like she was gonna fall asleep. "Daryl's one of three people you know… you knew… have a history with. That's what it's called right? A history… now-a-days… it's irreplaceable. The value of someone you share a history with, especially a history like you and Uncle Daryl share. You can't match it, can ya?' Eli looked at Sarah's very serious face and shook her head.

"No darlin' you can't. You can't match it."

"So why don't we find you something to wear?" Sarah smiled as she got up and hopped to the closet. "You'll look beautiful no matter what. You're Eli… to Uncle Daryl, you'll always be beautiful, so stop bein' so scared."

"How'd you get so smart?" Eli joked.

Sarah shrugged, not glancing up from the clothes on the closet floor, some of them unmistakenly owned by her mother at one point. "I got you raisin' me auntie… I consider that pretty lucky. I'm gonna be the smartest one in this camp by the time I'm in eighth grade. I win."

In spite of herself Eli let out a big laugh. Started searching through the closet with Sarah. If Sarah thought that she cleaned up well, who was she to disagree?.


	16. Chapter 16

**I wrote this chapter really quickly the other day and never got the chance to finish it, so I'm just going to post it as it is right now. I'm sorry it's so short! I definitely plan on sitting at this computer and getting another chapter done and posted tonight, I can't wait to write about what's coming up next! Thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing, and I promise another chapter is coming up very soon, hopefully tonight! Enjoy **

**Chapter Sixteen**

This was ridiculous. He had about four shirts and a couple of pairs of pants… and they'd always been just fuckin' fine until tonight. What? Was he supposed to show up to this damn dinner lookin' like the hick everyone thought he was? It didn't feel right… why not show up in a tie or some shit? Look better than the sheriff, the rest of em… prove to her that he was deserving of this invitation. Deep down, somewhere within him, he knew that he was deserving… otherwise she wouldn't have asked in the first place

Then why she hadn't said anything to him before? Everything they had ever known, their home, their whole lives, had just fallen apart. Everything was lost in the fire and chaos this hand had dealt them. He decided that he didn't want to know right now. If he felt the need to know exactly what he had done wrong before the world turned dark he'd ask.

He looked at himself in the mirror… could smell the meal they were cookin'. Dress black pants he had borrowed from Rob, who was about his size and for some reason unknown to god, had an extra pair. Button down blue shirt, the only solid colored one he had. Couldn't even remember why he had packed it. Black tie he borrowed from Rick. When Daryl looked at himself it felt like he was lookin' at someone else. Felt like he was pretending to be something he wasn't for these people. Started to feel anger rise up in his chest... and then remembered why none of it mattered, why he had agreed to it in the first place.

Eli…. Sarah….

Why bother pretending not to care when he did? Sure… his brother was his brother. He loved Merle… no matter how much he'd like to try and prove to himself otherwise… but he couldn't be Merle's "little brother" forever. He was different now, a man. He had to stop living life the way his brother wanted him to, the way he had been taught. He was always told to look out for _himself_… a child never factored into that. A woman… certainly not. All he was ever taught about women was that they'd break his heart one day, ruin his life. Merle had seen that the opposite was possible with Emily. She opened up her whole heart to him, welcomed all of his tremendous faults, and all of the good that came along with it. She had seen past his bravado… his bullshit prejudice… the shell that their father had created. Emily had made Merle a human again… a person worth knowing. That was the best part of Daryl's life. When the four of them were so closely knit, before tragedy had torn them apart. Poor Sarah, life had never even given her a chance. She gave people a shot no matter what… she that saw the good in everyone although the world had shown her evil in ways that even people twice her age couldn't handle. Yet she still believed in something that didn't seem to exist nowadays… empathy, humanity, a life beyond the one they were all living. You could look in this girl's eyes, and see it. Plainer than day. No one could deny that.

What was he doing? He was going to sacrifice all of it for a chance at her. What if it didn't work out? What if even the lack of choices didn't deter her from the fact that he was white trash? That he wasn't deserving of her, in any sense. He loved her… which he knew was more than most of the other men that had entered her life. In fact, men had almost ruined her. Broken her and held her down, because by keeping her weak they kept her caged, unable to grow or be happy in any possible way. Like she had said before… she was a heavy heart to carry. His own weighed on him daily.

He could hear her voice carrying down the hallway, she was talkin' with one of the other women he was guessin'. He couldn't make out what she was sayin', but he knew it was her. He loved her voice, even when she was spittin' angry with him, yellin' every bad name in the book, even at those times something about that sound made him feel… relief. When he heard her, he knew that she was there, that no matter how mad she was, she'd forgive him. He knew that fact like he knew North and South, that the earth was round and the sun would rise and fall every day no matter what. It was a truth that couldn't be compromised. One thing he was _uncertain_ of, however, was if he'd ever be the man she'd fall in love with. The man that would hold her while she slept, kiss her goodnight and good mornin', the man she would spend forever and a day with.

In and around all these other feelings he had, the one that shoved it's way to the front of the line was fear. Fear that this night would turn out exactly like Merle had predicted earlier that day it would. She'd run away, leave him there, wonderin' exactly what he coulda done to make her want to stay.


	17. Chapter 17

**First off, thank you to Pearl Jam for the amazing song "Just Breathe" for this chapter. Okay so I sat and wrote this tonight, and it's my first stab at any kind of writing about stuff like this, all that romantical (joke) stuff. I hope you enjoy and if you want to review I am always happy to read them, and appreciate them so much! Thank you all, I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"No, no… you have to make sure the coin is flat against the surface of the table." Eli had Maggie's hand in hers, showing her for the first time how to play a game of quarters, and every minute of it was pure entertainment. Maggie was gettin' so frustrated, unwilling to give in, yet laughing at her own complete failure at the same time. Daryl didn't know if he had ever seen someone bounce a quarter back into their own forehead before. He had nearly died laughin'.

"Alright, I think I got it." Maggie stated firmly with the coin planted between her thumb and index finger by the grooves like Eli had instructed.

"You mean like you thought you had it the last nine times?" Glenn teased. He and Daryl were both leanin' against the couch in the rec room, everyone was in sort of a makeshift circle, planted on furniture, on the floor, all over the place. The night had ended up being more relaxed then Daryl ever could have hoped for. No weird pressure, no uncomfortable conversations… just a bunch of friends having dinner together, cleaning up after together, playing drinking games _together_. He couldn't remember ever spending this much time with all of them at once ever… he enjoyed it a lot more than he was willing to admit to himself.

"Shut it Glenn!" Eli quipped at him, bringing a glass of red wine to her smiling lips. Daryl took in the sight of her while she was distracted, had her attention squared on Maggie's feeble attempts to play a college drinking game.

The scent hit him when he had walked up to her earlier that evening. Lavender soap… he hadn't smelled it once on her since he'd shown up, he was guessin' that she didn't use it all that often. She was wearing this skirt that settled at her ankles, like something you'd tie around yourself at the beach, and this white top… the most frail looking tank top with a lace all over it… the whole thing made her seem almost vulnerable. Like for once she wasn't all brass and rough edges, there was a certain softness to her. The girl was just beautiful… and even she couldn't deny it that evening. The whole room lit up when Daryl set eyes on her. He had seen her dressed up before, once even for some sort of a ball this military guy she was dating briefly invited her to. A gown, heels, hair done up professionally and shit like that… but she had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. He couldn't think of one thing that compared to the way he felt right then.

Rob plopped himself down on the couch next to Joanne while opening yet another bottle of wine. Even Rick was kickin' back, laughin' with his wife in a way they hadn't since that night at the CDC. Another unfamiliar feeling settled in Daryl's stomach… seeing these people happy, laughing, making the best of the life they were living… it rubbed off on him. He felt it to. Grateful for what they still had left, who they had left, for the new relationships, friendships that were formed. He wasn't sure if it was the wine, or the lavender soap, or the fact that their laughter echoed in that rec room loud enough to wake up the whole state of Georgia. The only thing he knew for certain was he was content. What a wonderful feeling.

Maggie held up her other hand, silencing the laughter around her. She was grinning from ear to ear, and planted the quarter right on that table like she was taught. It was hilarious, everyone almost held their breath waiting for it to hit or miss. When it landed in the shot glass a half a foot away, the whole room exploded. Maggie jumped up so high her head mighta' hit the ceiling if Glenn weren't there to catch her. The laughter was close to hysterical, cheering and all around absurdity. Daryl glanced up just in time to see Eli sitting herself down on the floor right in front of him. She knelt up and hugged Maggie around her neck and they were both gigglin' like damn school girls. He found himself laughing right along with the rest of em'. Why run from it? This is what people did when they were tryin' to move on. When they were taking a shot at actually living instead of just surviving. Eli sat back down and looked behind her, kept her eyes fixed on Daryl's for a moment or two. She smirked and looked down at the ground as she eased herself back. She scooted so she was sittin' on the floor right next to him. He turned his head to the side and met her eyes again. She looked away, laughing with him. Not laughing in his presence… but _with him_… like they were finally in on the same joke she had kept to herself for so long. She looked back up at him and took a hold of his hand. Lifted it up and rested his arm around her shoulders. They both adjusted awkwardly for a moment, and then she looked right ahead at Maggie and continued their conversation. Like it was completely normal for him to be sittin' there with his arm around her like he was her… boyfriend or something… it was all so strange.

Another thing that was strange, she was actually talking with these other women. There wasn't any animosity, jealousy, cattiness… Eli had always maintained that was the reason she wasn't friends with girls. Daryl had always shrugged it off like it was her own fault. Like she wasn't friends with other women because she just couldn't adapt to the whole girl thing… you know… shopping and girls nights with cake and horror movies…. Pillow fights… gossip… yah… is that what girls did? Whatever… all Daryl knew is that it wasn't Eli, not her style. So to sit there and see her joking around with Maggie and Lori like she had known them forever, Joanne even longer, was so opposite of everything he'd seen coming from her, that it was difficult for him to wrap his head around. Her smile was genuine, her guard wasn't up, she was actually enjoying herself.

It was Rob's idea to go sit by the fire, everyone readily agreed. The girls all ran to the kitchen to grab the stash of marshmallows that Joanne had hidden away while the guys were left to their own devices. Rob gave them all a look, motioned for them to head to the other end of the room, to a closet in the corner, barely visible if you weren't looking for it. He reached in and grabbed the handguns on the top shelf. Handed one to each of them, they all checked the chambers, made sure the safety's were on… a sudden reminder that they weren't actually in the makeshift heaven they had created. Everything outside of those doors, living and dead alike, were out to kill them. It brought Daryl down to reality, made him realize that no matter how safe he felt he was never really safe. None of them were.

He'd do everything he could keep Eli and Sarah from harm. Die for them. He thought this to himself as he tucked the gun into the back of his pants. Didn't question it for a second. That one thought told him more than he'd ever really known in his whole life. He would die for other people before choosing to live without them. The epiphany left him a little dumbfounded. He was Daryl Dixon, he only cared about himself… or was that every other Dixon he'd ever known? Was he in his own category? He'd never wonder this if she hadn't been there, making him question the uselessness he was comfortable with. She always twisted the feelings in his head… his heart. She made him challenge every thought that ever crossed his mind.

They walked back out to the large room to meet up with the women, none of them the wiser that each man had the tools they needed to keep them safe. They didn't seem to have any regard for their own personal safety, left it solely up to the men. It made Daryl nervous, they should at least be a little worried… shouldn't they?

"Hey… you alright?" He jumped as Eli showed up by his side. He hadn't even seen her coming.

"Yah, I'm fine." He nodded at her. "No need to worry, I'm fine."

She hooked her arm through his and looked up at him. "Yeah… sure you are. You're just fine." She smiled at him, he smiled right back. "Wanna roast marshmallows? I'll set em' on fire so their all charcoal-ey on the outside, just like I like it. If you want em' any different you'll have to roast your own damn marshmallows."

Maggie was bent over, her hands on her knees, laughing so hard Daryl thought she might explode. Eli joined in, leaning her head so far back that if she had anything but perfect teeth he'd have seen fillings. He glanced back at Glenn who was holding Eli's guitar in his hand. Daryl stiffened, waiting for Eli to snap at him, but she didn't even notice. Glenn motioned for Daryl to get the girls moving while holding a finger to his lips, tellin him to keep quiet about him having Eli's instrument. Daryl knew she hated being put on the spot when it came to playing, Glenn must have already figured it out too.

They all settled themselves out by the fire, Daryl sat down on the log that was held up by two cement blocks set back from the fire pit. Eli came and planted herself right next to him. He had his hand set right next to his leg, and she put hers right on top of it, again, like it was nothing. Like it didn't matter that she was touching him like that. He didn't know what to make of it. She was either messin' with his head, sucking him in knowing that she could, or she meant it, she wanted to be this close to him and was just embarrassed by how defenseless it made her feel. They had sat that way for about ten minutes before Glenn dragged the guitar over to her. Everyone else clapped their hands, saying encouraging words to her, trying to coax her into playing something just for them. She squirmed, acted flattered, and finally looked back to Daryl. He smiled at her, nodded toward her guitar, didn't even say a word. She shrugged back at him and picked it up. Lori and Rick were layin down in the grass a few yards back, Glenn and Maggie standing up and grinning down at her. Rob was sitting in the grass on the opposite side of the fire with Joanne's head in his lap, running his fingers through her hair. Oblivious to everyone and everything around him. Daryl looked over and suddenly felt intense jealousy. Whatever it was that Rob felt when he had his wife in his arms… that's what Daryl wanted. And he wanted it with Eli. When he finally looked back up she was standing, guitar strap around her neck, a slight smile on her face. "Okay, well what do y'all wanna hear? You can't expect me to choose _and_ play!"

Maggie stepped toward her, glass of wine in one hand and the other on Eli's shoulder. "Yes we can… we trust you darlin'!"

Everyone laughed and clapped in encouragement. She looked around nervously, cleared her throat and shook her hands around, loosening them up. "Okay… well here it goes. No laughin'."

Within the first few notes Daryl saw it… she had gotten better. She had perfected this hobby of hers, turned it from being an escape into a way of thinking, coping. He couldn't process this. Listening to her play, sing… it was disarming. Her song choice left him somewhat tender as well… she might as well have been speaking directly to him.

"Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh  
As we sit alone I know someday we must go, aw huh  
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands  
The ones I love…  
Some folks just have one  
Yeah others they have none, aw huh…

Stay with me  
Let's just breathe…

Practiced are my sins  
Never gonna let me win, aw huh…  
Under everything just another human being, aw huh  
Yeah I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world,  
To make me bleed

Stay with me…  
You're all I see

Did I say that I need you?  
Did I say that I want you?

Oh if I didn't I'm a fool you see…  
No one knows this more than me…  
As I come clean."

Eli fixed her eyes on him the whole time. 'If I didn't I'm a fool you see….' The words rang in his ears and he watched her eyes fill with tears. Everyone was quiet, listening to her pour her soul out into the fire before them. Let everyone see every thought in her head at that moment, and every thought had Daryl's face as a back drop…

"Nothing you would take,  
Everything you gave…  
Love you 'til I die,  
Meet you on the other side…"

They passed the time by singing different songs that they had likely heard in their own bars and pubs where ever they had wandered in from. All these people who never would have met otherwise, singing around a campfire. Daryl would have thought it laughable if he didn't feel so damn happy at the same time. Everyone sort of trickled off. Lori and Rick were the last to leave. Rick shook Daryl's hand as he saw Lori whisper something into Eli's ear. What was that woman saying to her? Was she going to ruin whatever was going on? Rick gave him a look, as if to say, "Relax, things are okay for once, embrace it."

And then it was just them, out by the cooling embers, waiting for the other one to speak. He felt that familiar uncomfortable wall forming between them, where he would always feel inferior, and she would always be unreachable… and then they were suddenly torn down. Over like a bad dream.

She walked over to him, head bowed low, eyes to the ground. He was standing next to the fire, feeding it some wood so maybe their night could last just a little while longer, when suddenly she was right there. She grabbed a hold of his hand with one of hers, his face with the other, made him look her right in the eye. She was overwhelming. Her smell, the pain and conflict behind her eyes, and he just couldn't do it anymore. He reached up and threw her hand away from his face roughly, and glared at her. "Just do what the fuck you want to do for once." He whispered, lookin her right in the eye, not allowing her to look away.

He didn't expect what happened next. He watched her lip tremble, tears fill her eyes faster than he'd ever seen before. She put her hand on his shoulder, forehead against his chest, the whole weight of her against his frame. He held on to her with tremendous strength, practically lifting her feet off the floor. She grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him away from her, just to look in his eyes one more time before she was planning on crossing that line. She swallowed hard, felt his breath on her lips. "I'm sorry I never did before… Daryl. I'm sorry. I'm such a fuck up sometimes… I should just do what I want to-"

His lips covered hers before she had a chance to finish. His hands on her lower back, the back of her neck, and both of them forgot everything around them. Eli forgot her hesitation, her fear. Daryl forgot about the very real threat at their back door, forgot he was supposed to be keeping a distance, because attachment to anyone these days was almost a guaranteed death sentence. Everything either of them had ever trained themselves to think or believe their whole lives slipped away for those few moments. Her mouth opened to his, he felt strong, wanting to touch every inch of her. For a few precious moments, she didn't let him go. Her fingers ran lightly through his hair, she moved her bottom lip against his top one, letting it linger for a moment, looking in his eyes the whole time. She wasn't holding back, and he didn't want to either, but then she pushed him away abruptly, breathing heavily. Her lips looked so plump he wanted to bite down on them, her eyes zeroed in on his and she spoke in a shaky voice. "I think we should probably go inside…" She let him go and kicked her foot a little against the grass. "Would you want to hang out with me in the rec room, just talk or whatever… whatever you want… I've got to check in on Sarah… and I know it must be super late… yah, probably almost dawn. Jeez, never mind. You should get some sleep if you're going to help the guys fish tomorrow. I can't believe I kept you up this late."

Daryl cocked his head sideways at her. He decided not to tease her, he could tell, one false move, one comment that made her feel even slightly out of touch, like she wasn't in complete control of each and every situation, and he'd scare her off for good. Wow… he really was afraid of that wasn't he? He wondered, who out of the two of them was more afraid… and less willing to admit they were? "Check in on Sarah, make sure she's safe, then come back out. They can fish without me tomorrow. You know this about me Eli, I'm a hunter, not a fisherman."


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry it took so long for me to update! Work has been demanding far too much of my time lately lol. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I'm really excited for Daryl and Eli's relationship to grow and see what they experience together. I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, you guys are the best!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

They were still awake, she couldn't believe it. The sun had risen, and they had sat side by side to watch, total silence surrounding them, comfortable with every moment. After what had happened out by the fire, Eli didn't feel the need to put on airs, wanted to just act like she felt like actin'… so she did. Daryl just seemed to flow along with her. That's what he wanted, he wanted to make her comfortable, make it easy for her to let go for just a little while. It felt like this night had been given to them like a gift.

"You know I packed Sarah's baby teeth?" She spoke softly, smiling to herself.

Daryl held her hand in his, lacing her fingers with his, tracing the veins along her palm, so close to her skin… another sign of vulnerability. He couldn't help but wonder what had kept him from seeing all of this in the past. The way her eyes faded into the distance when she was saying something that she wouldn't repeat. How she sounded when she was holding in tears, the way her hands would shake if she was keeping something from you. All of this was hidden behind this exterior wall she had built a long time ago, but here in this place, the walls were weakening. Brick by brick. She was leaning back on her elbows, head resting against his chest ever so lightly, wouldn't let the weight of herself down on Daryl… he appreciated the silent gesture, and wanted to inform her at the same time that it was completely unnecessary. But he knew her, knew that pure honesty, even coming from him, would shake her down to her pit of her stomach. "How'd you manage that?" He whispered into her hair… that lavender.

"They are kept in those little plastic treasure chests they give them at school if you lose a tooth in the middle of class." She leaned all the way down to the ground, brought his arm along with her. She was lying flat on the ground using his arm as a pillow, he didn't know where to settle. After awkwardly looking around he finally placed his hand on her stomach. She let hers fall on top of his, closed her eyes, remembering. "The night we left, I was in Em's room grabbing things I thought I would want to keep. Things I wouldn't want to forget along the way… the treasure chests were in Em's bedside table." Daryl knew they hadn't disturbed Emily's bedroom since she had died, only time they went inside and actually touched anything was when they were picking out the funeral clothes. Eli had been in her black dress that day, pale and red eyed, and suddenly realized she lost Sarah. She and Daryl ran all over the house trying to find her, Eli had ended up in the front yard. She was screaming Sarah's name, her face red with anger and fear. Everyone had started searching, even Merle rode off on his bike and looked for her around the neighborhood. Eli had been the one to find her, Daryl right behind her. Sarah was sitting on the floor of her mother's closet, legs straight out ahead of her, eyes to the shawl wrapped around her tiny hands. She was wearing one of Emily's jackets, the hood up, hovering over her eyes. Daryl could see the tears falling on the soft fabric wrapped around her fingers. He couldn't control himself. He sat down on the bed and buried his head in his hands… his guilty hands. Merle had done this… at this point he couldn't deny that's that how he felt. It was his brother's fault that this little girl was without a mother, that Eli was going to face the rest of her life without the one person that she felt safe with. Emily was her protector, her best friend, the one person in Eli's life that was bonded by blood that hadn't abandoned her. She had been ripped away, and the unfairness of the whole experience was almost too much for him to take.

But for Sarah and Eli it was a wound so deep it could never heal. It would always be raw and open to further pain and emotional infection. A mother, a sister, best friend, confidant, savior… had been lost to these two girls he loved more than life itself, and not one thing he said or did would fix it, would bring her back. Eli crawled inside the closet and nuzzled up next to her niece. Put her finger underneath her chin and made her look her in the eye. "There are an awful lot of people downstairs that want to pay their respects Sarah Jane Hayes, why are you in here when you should be downstairs with us? Remembering your mom with us instead of here by yourself?"

Her big brown eyes filled with tears all over again, she held the shawl up to face. "I am remembering Auntie… can't you see that's what I'm doing? It smells like mama in here."

That was it. The two girls fell apart in each other's arms. Eli had looked up to Daryl and reached her hand out. Dragged him down in that closet with them and held on to him tight. They stayed there for a long time, until Merle had come up to find them. The sight of them… all this pain that Merle was witnessing and that he had bared responsibility for, was too much for him. He left then… never really came back, Daryl reasoned. Something inside of him died the day he saw Sarah cry for her mother, buried in her clothing just to catch the scent of her before it was gone forever. None of them were ever the same after that. They had each been broken in different ways. The type of broke that don't get fixed.

"The only other thing I brought with me that had any value beyond pure practicality was a picture of you and me… that day you caught that bass down off the dock on your land? Remember how big that was?" Eli's voice brought him back to present day. Brought him out the darkness of Em's closet and back to where he was right then, tangled up in her, holding her like he had wanted to for so long… and she wanted him there. He bent his lips down to her forehead and nodded, smiling against her skin. "You were smilin' so big in that picture. It was the happiest I'd ever seen you."

Daryl ran his hand through her hair, grabbed hold of the back of her head and gently pulled her toward him. His lips traced her jaw line, traveled down her neck, leaving kisses so soft that Eli had a hard time believin' that this was the same man who had pulled a knife on her just a few months earlier. She always knew he wasn't tryin' to hurt her, but still, he had scared her half to death. And here they were, kissing each other, holding one another so gently with the early morning sun streaming in on them. She could feel heat beginning to rise up inside of her, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Something… new. He wasn't just making her feel good with his lips and his hands… his whole heart was out, hers for the taking. The generosity of it, the willingness to trust her, take care of her, be with her when she was so tremendously flawed, made her feel such intense gratitude that it was overwhelming. She grabbed the back of his head which had traveled down to her stomach by then and brought his lips to hers quickly, with urgency that he didn't expect. He reacted immediately, grabbing at her clothes, her hair, pulling at the clasp on her jeans. She jumped about a mile.

Fuck, he had forgotten himself. Got too caught up and didn't think about what he was doing. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she just held a finger up to his lips. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "It's okay, I'm not upset… don't say you're sorry." They both spent a few seconds catching their breath. Eli couldn't remember the last time a man had made her feel this way… if any man ever had. Daryl couldn't remember a time where he had felt more accepted, more useful, more loved, than he did that very moment. She smiled up at him and spoke so low it was almost a whisper. "People are gonna be getting up soon… we've waited this long for each other. I want to take my time with you… I want it to be right."

He nodded at her, understanding fully. "Eli, I'd wait forever for you. Shit, haven't I proved that already?"

She nodded and brought her lips to his again. It happened slower this time, but soon enough they were right back in the same position they had been a few minutes earlier. Only this time it was Daryl who pulled away. He held her away from in and took in the sight of her. Shirt half draped off her body, hair behind her head wild, her lips full and parted. She looked so unbelievably sexy that it was close to physically painful for him to say the words that were about to escape from his mouth. "You're right, we have waited this long for each other… I want to take my time with you. I don't want any distractions, time limits, none of it. Only thing I want is you… and I wanna do it right. I don't wanna fuck this up Eli."

She smiled at him, almost laughing at the thought. "Daryl Dixon, you couldn't fuck this one up if you tried."


	19. Chapter 19

**I have the feeling I might have to rate this Mature soon if I keep going in this direction, probably within the next chapter or two. Hope everyone that's reading enjoys, thank you so much for paying attention to my little story! You guys are all so great!**

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Real fuckin' smart Daralina… great fuckin' plan." Merle was practically foaming at the mouth. Eli had walked Daryl to the boat first thing that morning, and in a moment that was surely a result of the way they had been feeling all night, had planted a kiss right on his mouth in front of Merle. Daryl had seen it written all over his brother's face before even getting on the boat. This day was not gonna be easy.

"Just give it a rest Merle." Daryl was standing on the edge of the boat by the dock, un-wrapping the rope from it to free them up to the river. Glenn, Rick and Justin had all come along right after Daryl, hadn't seen what had happened. They looked confused, Rick shot a look of caution to him. Warning him to tread lightly. Dealing with Merle pissed off was difficult enough… but to do that this early in the morning? Fuck that.

"Nah man, I ain't gonna give it a rest." He pointed his finger toward the building they were slowly moving away from. "That girl is gonna be the death of ya little brother! She's gonna slow you down, she's gonna slow US down, and I don't want to have shit to do with her anyway!"

Daryl whipped around, no longer giving a shit how early it was. "I don't give a fuck if you wanna have anything to do with her Merle, you don't have to! You ain't me, you ain't never gonna be me, and I'm the one that wants something to do with her."

"What, you two gonna get married, have little babies in this hell? You fuckin' moron… you ain't gonna be with her long enough to blink before she realizes the mistake she's makin' with you. And trust me little brother, you don't want any part of it either. You'll be responsible for them both, have to take care of BOTH OF EM' , everyday from here on out. Is that what you fuckin want?"

"YES!" Daryl threw his hands up, hollering at the top of his lungs. He could see Rick approaching out of the corner of his eye. Glenn was next to him almost instantly, put his hand on Daryl's shoulder, trying to calm him down. It wasn't doin… "YES MERLE! That is EXACTLY what I want! I want to take care of both of em'! I want to be there for em, feed em, love em until the day they die, I always fuckin' have! But you wouldn't know that, cuz you ain't never asked me shit about what I want. It's always what YOU want… what POPS WANTED! I'm a grown man Merle, I make my own choices. I choose _her,_ I choose _Sarah,_ I choose to be the person who makes sure their safe." Daryl took in a breath before adding his last word, knowing what it might cost him. He didn't care, enough was enough. "I want to take care of em' because Emily ain't here no more to do that. I want to watch over them like you never watched over Emily, you let her die, and then you ran the fuck away. Got angry at the whole god damn world, blamed everything on everyone else, didn't take responsibility for shit, and NOW you wanna have a say in what I do with my life? Well FUCK YOU MERLE! I'm gonna be better at this than you ever were, ever could be. I'm gonna succeed where you failed, and there ain't nothin' you can do, nothin' you can say, to change that… I hope it makes you feel _helpless_, cuz that's how I've felt my whole fuckin' life. Got the god damn scars to prove just how helpless I was. Well not no more, that's your place now. You belong where you are, alone. You deserve this hell Merle. You did this to yourself."

Everyone was still for a moment. Daryl was breathing heavy, watchin' Merle's face go from shock to intense anger. He came hurling at him and landed a punch right on the side of face, knocked Daryl backwards into the river, landing the back of his head smack on the side of the dock. The next thing he remembered was Justin's face hovering above his own. Daryl leaned to the side and coughed, spit out water and blood. They were on the shore, he was surrounded by the men, watchin him intently. Rick let out a sigh of relief at the sight of his breathing. Merle was standing far up near the boat, which had been secured to the dock again. How long had he been out?

Daryl leaned up on his elbow and coughed up some more water. He suddenly felt a hand on his back, he glanced behind him and saw Carl kneeling behind to the ground, Sarah and Maddie behind him, eyes filled with frightened tears. But here was Carl, so young and still making sure Daryl was alright.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." Daryl nodding to everyone. He looked up to Merle and saw him exhale sharply. He kept his eyes on Merle's as he was heaving, trying to catch his breath. "You tryin' to fuckin kill me now? Brother?"

Merle jutted his chin out to him, hatred in his eyes. "Maybe I am, maybe you drownin face down in this river is better than drownin slowly with that _bitch_ that you gonna start treatin' like a housewife."

Rick stalked toward Merle, yellin' every step of the way. "That is ENOUGH, you hear me? You nearly killed your brother, and weather or not you give a shit if he's dead or not is no longer relevant. Daryl is a part of this group now, and he's gonna do whatever he wants concerning Eli, and you are gonna _leave them be…_" Rick's voice was firm and decisive. Daryl was a little taken a back by the sheriff takin a stance in this fight, but wasn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. "You come at him like that again, and I'll kill you myself, ya hear me?"

Merle snickered in his direction. "Yah sure, Officer Friendly."

Daryl heard a whimper behind him, turned just in time to see Sarah break out from behind the other children. She ran at Merle with every ounce of energy in her little body and started hitting him in the stomach, the hips, anywhere she could reach. Merle was startled, grabbed a hold of Sarah's wrists to hold her back. Grabbed them gently enough though, Daryl would give him that. Merle would never hurt a kid. He had watched it happen to Daryl, had experienced it himself. He would never hurt a child. Sarah let her fists fall limp and leaned into Merle. Wrapped her arms around him and started sobbing. He held his arms out and looked up to Daryl and the others for direction. For once in his god forsaken life, Merle Dixon was at a complete loss for what to do. Sarah leaned back, still crying hard, not letting go of his waist, and looked right in Merle's eyes while she delivered the deafening blow that would prove to be more powerful than anything else done that day. They could fight with their fists, could throw each other around, spew hatred and violence from every corner, and nothing could match quite what she was able to accomplish with the next eight words that left her mouth. "Why do you wanna hurt everyone I love?"

Merle looked at her, mouth wide open, not able to respond. Glenn walked over and gently peeled her off of Merle. Daryl could hear the women coming out, heard the commotion, looked back and saw Eli runnin' full speed at them. Shit, this was only gonna get worse.

"What happened?" She shouted, grabbing Sarah up in her arms and glaring at Merle. Daryl expected Merle to yell, swear, go stormin' off… but all he did was look back at his brother again, and then right into Eli's eyes and shrug haphazardly. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

Daryl tried to stand up, but ended up falling back against the shore, painfully. He spit out a little more blood from his mouth and coughed again. Justin stood up and spoke for him, said exactly what Daryl wanted him to say, without even askin'.

"Family dispute." He said sharply. "Everyone and everything is alright, no need to panic Eli, no need to make it worse."

She stared at him hard for longer than was comfortable with anyone. "Fine then." She looked back to Merle, Sarah standing by her side sobbing softly. "Stop trying to ruin your brother's life. I don't know what you did… but I'll find out." She looked down at Sarah, ran her fingers through her hair. "Stop destroying what family I have left."

Merle nodded, swallowed hard, and walked away. Everyone was standing there in shock. Shock that Eli had the gall to say that to him square on after what he had already done to her. Awed that she wasn't afraid of him in the slightest. No one knew what to do with the girl… the girl that had wrapped up this man she was scared of in a hug so tight that she coulda squeezed the life out of him. What was that? And Daryl… what to do with him. He didn't know what to do with himself. He was so… tired.

Everyone slowly dispersed. Sarah walked off with the other children, Lori and Joanne looking after them. Eli and Daryl sat in silence for a few minutes. She had his head in her lap, was rubbing his back and helping him cough up the rest of the river water in his chest. "You okay?" She asked quietly

"Yeah, I'm fine. You don't always gotta ask me that all the time. I'm fine." He didn't know why he was snapping at her. He was so… angry. He didn't know who he was angry with, but the fury inside him was boiling over. His own brother had just tried to kill him… what was he supposed to do with that now? If it were anyone else Daryl woulda killed him the first chance he got. But this was his brother… what the hell was he supposed to do?

But all Eli did was nod. She pressed her lips together, her hands started shaking. "Okay, I won't ask you no more." She looked him in the eyes and leaned down, pressed her lips against his. He let himself forget all the other shit he had gone through since the sun had risen. Kissed her back with everything he had, let himself escape to what he had felt inside just a little while back. He settled his body on top of hers, pushed his body against hers. He couldn't help himself, didn't really want to… and she didn't seem to mind.

She grabbed a hold of his hair, put her hand on the inside of his shirt and tore away at it. There wasn't a time she remembered feeling this way. This combination of intense lust, confusion, safety, sadness… happiness… love… she didn't know what to do. She thought to herself "Why not? What do you have to lose?" They kissed each other hurriedly, ripping each other's clothing off with such ferocity it would have seemed angry to anyone else… but that wasn't it. It was the time that had passed, the life they had lived together, all this time that he had wanted to tear her clothes off and make love to her and now he was finally able to. He didn't want to hear reason. She didn't want to figure out why this was happening now. "Daryl… Daryl please…" She had him by the sides of the face, dragged his face up from her hip, where he was brushing his lips lightly against her bare skin. He was still fully clothed, but she was down to nothing but her underwear and t-shirt. He leaned down again and kissed her, felt her hand against the front of his pants, he let out a low growl. And then they heard it. Lori's voice shouting out to them, filled with fear and urgency. He could feel Eli's entire body tighten at the words they both heard.

"Eli! It's Sarah! She can't breathe!"


	20. Chapter 20

**I went through watching someone close to me go through an asthma attack a number of days ago… really scary stuff, but it was almost immediately diffused and she was fine. Later I wondered what might happen if medicine was limited, if time was a factor in this, what might have happened, and it scared the hell out of me. That's what inspired this chapter, the thought of losing someone to something like this in a world where so many other things are far more threatening. It was a stretch, but I hope those who are reading enjoy it for what it is. Thanks to everyone who read and reviews when you get the chance. You guys are great. **

**Chapter Twenty**

Eli had never felt panic the way she had when she heard Lori scream out. She was standing up, struggling to put her clothes on, and Daryl was already running toward the building. He turned back momentarily, holding his hands up to Eli, asking without asking.

"My suitcase, under the bed, side pocket! Hurry!" Eli ran after him. She could feel her heartbeat in her fingertips. She ran through the darkened hallway, past everyone's rooms with such speed that if anyone had stepped in front of her right then she would have mowed them over. She broke into the room to see Daryl bent over with Sarah in his arms. Everything else went blurry as she fell to her knees next to them, grabbed the medicine out of his hand and held the girl in her arms. Sarah breathed in as deep as could manage when Eli pressed on the top of the inhaler.

"How many puffs did you give her?" Eli looked desperately to Daryl, who was many feet from her now, watching intently with worry in his eyes.

"Just the one, I couldn't get no more into her, she started coughin'."

"Okay, okay…" Eli gave Sarah one more puff of the medicine, and settled in behind her, leaning against the wall. She held her, facing away from her, and settled her hand on the girl's chest. "Sarah honey, breathe when I breathe okay? Real slow now…" She took a slow breath in and felt her almost immediately follow into rhythm with her rising and falling chest. Eli's face broke out into a relieved smile, tears streaming down her face. They breathed in and out together, Eli put her other hand on Sarah's forehead, reached around and kissed her cheek one, two, three times… "You're okay, you're alright now."

After letting a few minutes pass, after Sarah and steadied her breathing and was leaning heavily against Eli in near silence, she looked up to the other women with question in her eyes. "What happened? What the hell do I keep missing?" Eli couldn't control the sobs escaping her mouth. Daryl stepped toward her to try and help, but saw the look in her eyes and decided better of it. He stepped back next to Carol and Carl on the sidelines, waited for Lori's answer.

"She was cryin' so bad outside, she wasn't able to stop when she got in here, and she just couldn't get her breath…" Lori held her hand to her chest and started softly crying. Walked over and placed her other hand on Sarah's cheek. "I didn't know what to do… I didn't know where her medicine was… but… she's okay now?"

Eli nodded and leaned her head back against the wall, let the tears dry up. Another familiar feeling, that old anger, starting overpowering her again… anger at herself for being so irresponsible. "This is my fault anyway Lori, don't get too upset with yourself." What the hell had she been thinking? Sarah was sobbing outside, was all worked up, and Eli had just let her walk away with these people who didn't even know how to use a fucking inhaler for all she knew. All because she wanted a few minutes alone with… Daryl. This shouldn't be happening. This couldn't happen right now, it wasn't even an option. Eli had so much to lose still, Sarah was everything to her. She couldn't sacrifice that for anyone else… no matter how much it hurt. Eli looked up and met Daryl's eyes, which almost instantly dropped from hers. He knew what she was thinking, and it made it that much harder. Eli hated herself. She couldn't get close to anyone without nearly destroying them.

He walked up to them, knelt down and touched the top of Sarah's head. Lori was watching him, so was Eli… pretty much everyone in that room had their eyes on him. Sarah turned and wrapped her arms around Daryl's neck. "I'm tired Uncle Daryl." She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Eli turned her head away. She couldn't watch anymore. Sarah loved him just as much as she did. This whole fucking world was so god damn unfair. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, rip a hole in the atmosphere with her voice. Instead, she just sat there and cried as she watched Daryl carry Sarah off to bed, unable to move her limbs.

Lori settled in next to her, wrapped her arm around Eli's shoulders and whispered "This ain't your fault darlin, things like this happen and the fault doesn't belong to no one. It's just one of those things that happens… you can't blame yourself."

Maggie sat down on the other side of her, linked her arm through Eli's and rested her head on Eli's shoulder. "It's okay Eli, we're here. We wouldn't have let anything bad happen. We love Sarah too." She was letting the tears fall freely. Soon Joanne was in front of her, Cassie sitting there with her hand on Eli's. Carl and Maddie, Glenn and Justin… they were all there. All of these people on the ground with her at once, all touching in some way, just to let the other's know they were there. Eli hadn't felt this strong a sense of family since before Emily had died… and the next realization made her sick to her stomach.

Her new family wasn't going to last any longer than her old one had.

She stood up, ruffled Carl's hair, gave Lori a look that she knew would be interpreted as her needing some time to herself. Lori nodded at her and Eli disappeared down the same dark hallway she had come in, only this time she was going to the room she should have been in as soon as Merle had made Sarah break down. She saw Daryl standing in the doorway, watching over her little niece just like she would if she had been standing there the whole time. She settled in next to him and followed her heart instead of her head for once in her life. She slipped her hand into his and rested her head against his shoulder. She could feel his whole body stiffen, he hadn't expected this. He had expected her to come down that hallway and say goodbye to him instantly. He wasn't entirely incorrect in guessing that's what she had planned. She just didn't know if she could pull it off.

"She's sleepin' now… didn't take too long after I laid her down. I think she'll be alright, just scared her a little." Daryl lifted his arm up and wrapped it around Eli's shoulders, which seemed so frail now. Over night she had gone from this unattainable, stubborn, bull-headed woman, into a frightened girl just trying to keep herself together. All Daryl wanted to do was protect her from the whole fuckin' world. He never wanted to see her that scared again. He never wanted to see Sarah that close to death again… the very thought of any of it made him feel loss so intense he could have fallen over right there. That wasn't an option anymore, however… no matter what might stand in the way, Daryl needed to take care of these two girls. These two that hadn't ever abandoned him… they meant more to him than he could even begin to explain.

Eli looked up to him and sighed. "This is wrong… I feel like it's wrong." She put her hand on his chest, right over his heart. "But if I lost you too Daryl…" her eyes welled up but she swallowed back the tears. "I wouldn't be able to take it. I'm not gonna keep pretending that I don't… feel really strongly about you. Because I do."

He let a small smile escape to his lips. "Feel really strongly about me huh?"

Eli shook her head and grinned "Don't get cocky Dixon, I can keep on pretendin' if I need to. I can't always say what I feel alright? Just… whatever Daryl…"

He adjusted and put his arms around her waist, her hands settled on his chest. She looked up to him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I feel 'strongly about you' too Eli. Don't worry about it, just stop thinking for one second and let something good happen to you. Which will in turn let something good happen to me. I deserve it, so do you, so just give in." He raised his eyebrows at her, and she looked sheepishly up at him.

"Okay, since when did YOU get to be as smart as my little girl over there?" Daryl leaned back… had never heard Eli talk about Sarah like she was her daughter… the sound of it wasn't foreign… just somewhat new.

He couldn't help but laugh at her claim. "Fuck… I'm never gonna be that smart Eli, you of all people should know that."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

They had a three week reprieve, no signs of danger, no need to travel outside of the compound, no violent run-ins with the 'less than likeable' members of the group. Just three weeks of pure, uninterrupted bliss. Eli and Daryl had been spending everyday together when he wasn't out fishing or hunting. Eli had taken the role of staying behind when he went out. She knew she slowed him down and he would be better off on his own. No matter how quick or sharp Eli knew herself to be, Daryl was ten times quicker and sharper. She didn't know if she'd ever bridge that gap… but it was okay. She was alright with staying behind with most of the others and caring for the children. Watching over the land, walking the perimeter, bow in hand. It was her own way of keeping everyone safe. She didn't need to be wandering out in the woods looking for trouble when she could be here, making sure it didn't land right on their doorstep. Every now and then the idea of the fences eventually dying entered her mind, but she would quickly push it back out. She would cross that bridge when she came to it.

Daryl had taken to sleeping in Eli and Sarah's room after a particular incident that happened a couple of weeks prior. Sarah had woken up with start, screaming her head off about how she 'couldn't hear them', just hysterical. Eli had tried to comfort her but she hollered out for Daryl almost immediately. She had to admit, at first it hurt Eli's feelings. She had done right by Sarah, taking care of her and all. Why did she think that Daryl would be able to protect her any more than Eli could? But the moment Daryl walked into that room and scooped Sarah up in his arms, all negativity was out the window. He held her tight, steadied her breathing, explained to her that she was here, safe, and no one was going to hurt her if he was around.

"They weren't coming after me Uncle Daryl." She said between sniffles, her face buried in his chest. "I couldn't hear em', and they were comin' for Auntie. I couldn't hear em' and they got her and hurt her… I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move… and they just killed her cuz I can't hear nothin'." She bellowed out, sobbing "It's not fair! I wanna help and I can't!"

"Shhh…." Daryl held her head down and let her cry, made eye contact with Eli, who was standing there speechless. Sarah was as worried about her as much she was worried about Sarah. That night Eli wrapped Sarah up in her arms in her bed, and looked up at Daryl as he was covering them up.

"Where do you think you're going?" She smiled up at him, misty eyed and grateful. "Come on, stay here with us tonight."

He wasn't quite sure how to do this… he had never slept in a bed with a woman before. Sure, he had been in bed with women before, but there was never any sleeping involved. Once it got to that point he'd either run out their door without looking back, or he'd shuffle them out with some excuse, never to call them again. Not once in his life had he shared a bed with a woman and just slept.

But that's exactly what they did. He laid on his back and Eli was turned away from him, holding an already sleeping Sarah tight in her arms. He felt her place a light kiss on the inside of his arm. "Thank you Daryl." When they woke up the next morning Sarah had already been awake for an hour or so. Came into the room and brought both him and Eli scrambled eggs and toasted cinnamon bread (Daryl's favorite).

Daryl was smiling from ear to ear at the sight of her trying to balance the tray on her own, shaking her head when he reached out to help. "Where'd you get that bread little girl?" He put his hand on top of her head and messed her hair up good.

"Cassie found it for me in the freezer. Breakfast in bed!" She exclaimed as she set the tray down on Eli's lap, giggling up a storm. "Lori helped me make it. You looked at her belly lately? She ain't so skinny anymore, she's got a bump. I can't wait to meet the little baby! I hope it's a boy so Carl has someone else to play with, he gets bored with all us girls sometimes." And with that she turned and walked out of the room, off to whatever adventure she was gonna cook up next.

Eli smiled and took a bite of her eggs. "No one's ever served me breakfast in bed before, 'cept Emily when I got my tonsils out." She laughed "I couldn't even swallow and she brought me breakfast in bed. She was such a goof sometimes."

Daryl wrapped his arm around her and bit into his cinnamon toast. Something about all this felt so wonderfully normal that he couldn't help but say a silent thank you in his head. He didn't know who he was thanking really, but he was grateful for this chance to make things better for himself, for these two girls.

Since that night, upon Sarah's request and Eli's silent one, he stayed in their room with them. Moved all his shit into their small closet and made sure there was a handgun under the mattress and his crossbow at the foot of the bed. Sarah stayed in her bed across the room and he fell asleep each night listening to the sound of their breathing. For obvious reasons Eli and Daryl hadn't taken any further steps in their new relationship… physically anyway. The closest they had gotten to where they both wanted to go was that day by the river when Sarah had her asthma attack. But they had both felt something that day, and Eli no longer questioned her attraction to Daryl. It was there, it was real, and it was strong as hell. There was nothing either of them could do about it, nothing they wanted to do quite yet. They were still getting acclimated, used to their surroundings and each other. Daryl still couldn't believe he got to kiss her every morning and hold her at night. For him, that was good enough… for the time being anyway. There was no way they'd ever do anything with Sarah in the room, and everyone else was littered all over the place, they never _really_ knew if they would get walked in on. They'd get their chance, he reasoned.

All in all life was quiet, settled… happy…

Daryl was still alarmed at how quickly things could change.


	22. Chapter 22

**This is my first crack at a chapter strictly dedicated to the action aspect of this show. I've never written much of anything pertaining to this… I hope I do alright. I hope anyone who reads enjoys and reviews, thanks everyone!**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

She heard them before she saw, and that familiar fear busted through her heart like a fist through a wall. The growling, moaning, snarling monsters were right outside their 'safe haven'. Many of them crippled and cooked from the large fence that protected them so effectively, but a good number of them pushed against the padlocked gate, rocking it with the their crushing weight. Their relentlessness was frightening, and the amount of them was growing _quickly._

Carl had been the first one to spot them while wandering around the property. He ran back to the fire pit so quickly Eli thought his feet would set the ground on fire. "Walkers! Dad, Mom, Walkers by the fence! There's a whole bunch of em'!"

Daryl instinctively snatched Sarah up and pushed her inside with the other children and most of the women. Merle ran toward his brother and threw him his crossbow. Looked at Eli without any anger in his eyes for the first time in years. "Got your bow girl?" He asked, grabbing a screw driver, crowbar, and long tire rod from out of his pack leaning against the building. He strapped them all to his belt at lightening speed. Her eyes darted over to Daryl, he was doing the same as his brother. When moments like this happened, she was glad to be on their side. Glad that when it came down to life and death scenarios, Merle would be quicker to stand with her than leave her to the wolves… or walkers.

She nodded and grabbed it from inside the door, looked up and saw Rick with all the men around him, the only other woman out there was Cassie. She was good with a knife, quick on her feet. Would contribute, not become someone they needed to look after. Eli fell into that category too. She quickly settled in next to Daryl. There were no reassuring glances, no touch of the hand, no indication that he even knew she was there at this point. He was in his space, hunter mode. Deadly and efficient.

"Alright people," Rick began, everyone else leaned in to listen, even Merle and Jeremy despite themselves. "We bring guns as a last resort, y'all understand? Everyone's got somethin' quieter than that, and that's how we gonna do this right now. Quietly, quickly… we don't want to attract more. Everyone set?"

There was a collective nod, and that was it. They were off, running as fast as they could toward the main gate of the compound. Eli could hear the sound of her own breathing, clenched her fists as she launched into a sprint. She had run track in high school, left the others in her dust… so it was understandable that she was the first witness to the nightmare unfolding in front of them. She came to a dead halt.

Merle was the first to land next to her. Their heads turned almost a full 180 degrees, taking in what could only be described as pure… horror. Half of them almost lifeless, twictching on the ground. Many of them on fire, howling with whatever was their equivalence to pain might be. An even more terrifying amount were shaking the gate back and forth, grabbing at the chain links, attempting to fit their already rotting faces in between the posts… their presence caused the ground to shake beneath her feet. She had never seen so many up close… she had never felt more scared in her life. She was frozen.

She felt a hand on the small of her back, she turned, expecting to see Daryl standing there, but it was Merle. The other men had already spread out, lined themselves in front of the gates, taking them out one by one. Daryl was standing next to Rick and Glenn, running arrows through the skulls of these zombies quicker than she'd ever seen before. Her eyes met Merle's, and he nodded up toward the sky. She knew what he was gesturing towards and they both bolted toward the watchtowers on either side of the gate.

It took them a little over two hours, sucked up nearly a quarter of their ammunition for the handguns they each carried, and cleaned both Daryl and Eli out of arrows, but they got em all. Once Justin had deemed it safe they opened the gates and walked out among the ones that were still moving, killed them one by one to get em' to stop makin' that awful noise. The gurgling sounds of a dying monster holding on by pure basic instinct. 47… that was how many Eli killed that day. Her hands were shaking something fierce as she fell in stride with the men heading back to camp. She was covered in blood and grime and sweat, tears streaming down her pale face. She looked over and watched Daryl walking next to Merle. They were chattin' like they were talkin' about the weather or something. You couldn't read on either of their faces that they had just killed fifty to a hundred things that were once… people. It didn't phase either of them. For the first time since meeting Daryl, she felt like she didn't know him at all. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. Justin was staring down at her as they walked together.

"It's alright Eli." He nodded toward Daryl, the man she had been sharing a bed with for the past three weeks and was yet a stranger to her, and squeezed her arm tight. "This is what happens. We're all… desensitized. Don't judge, don't make it harder on the both of you. Think of it this way… he'll protect you like a man is supposed to, wouldn't ever let one of those things hurt you or Sarah, and you know that… don't you?"

She looked over at Daryl again, he was fixed on her and Justin, question in his eyes. She realized that the man next to her was right. Daryl wasn't heartless… just practical. She was ruled by her emotions… he thought before he acted when it came to protecting himself and the lives of those around him. Her eyes softened and she smiled at him reassuringly. Looking back up to Justin she answered as honestly as she knew how "I do know that Justin… thank you. I just didn't realize it til you said it just now I guess. I'm slow like that."

He laughed. "Glad to help darlin'. Let's go get cleaned up and pretend like this day wasn't as horrible as it obviously was. Let's go and shower, forget about the hot water we're using." His words were catching other's attention. Rick and Glenn, T-Dog and Herschel, even stubborn bull headed Jeremy smiled in his direction. "Let's eat all the hamburger we can grill up, drink all the wine we damn well please!" He looked up to the sky, walking backward so they could all see the triumph on his face, just because he was going to see the sun rise tomorrow. Things were okay, they were alive. "Let's LIVE people! MUSIC! Over indulgence! ALL OF IT!" He pumped his fist in the air. "LET'S LIVE!"

Eli couldn't stop smiling at Justin, at his freedom, his exuberance… it was liberating. She ran up next to him, and they started doing this sort of dance/walk number next to each other. Laughter rang out behind them, loud and full, and Eli was loving every second of it. It was strange to feel lucky at times like these, but that's exactly what she felt…. Lucky. Life wasn't so terrible after all.


	23. Chapter 23

**So I had posted another version of Chapter Twenty Three… I'm choosing to call it Chapter Twenty Three's evil cousin… something along those lines. Negativity breeds negativity, and I was in a negative space when I wrote it. So I put on some Beatles, poured myself a glass of wine and relaxed for a few minutes. Then this came out. Thank you guys for the reviews, Nelle07, thank you for your honesty, this was constructive criticism that paid off. Hope everyone enjoys the chapter, and I'm gonna save the sad stuff for another day. Review if you'd like. Oh, and Judy Garland, thank you for this song. I think I'm gonna go watch The Wizard of Oz right now, as a matter of fact… **

**Chapter Twenty Three**

"Come on, girl! We all in the mood tonight! We need your grooooovy tunes man!" Cassie started doin a Axl Rose style sway, laughin at herself, everyone else laughin' right along with her. Nathan had his head in his hands, shakin' it back and forth, Ryan was smilin' but obviously embarrassed of his slightly drunken mother. Eli leaned over the side of the fire and threw her towel in his face, he threw it back at her.

"You heard her girl!" Eli looked back at Merle, leanin' against the tree near the outskirts of the fire. She couldn't help but notice there was no maliciousness in his eyes, his voice… he was attempting to kid around with her. She could feel Daryl's muscles tighten against her arm, they were sitting up closer to everyone else, hand in hand. Eli knew that this moment could mean a lot if she quit with her stubbornness for once in her life. Merle smiled at her and clapped his hands together. "Chop chop darlin', entertain us!"

She knew Daryl's eyes were on her face and she decided to do the right thing. Today had made it perfectly apparent that whatever time they had left was a gift, and there was no point in wasting it clinging to a past that didn't matter. She didn't want to be angry anymore. She smiled up at Merle, got to her feet. grabbed her guitar. Sarah started clappin as she jumped onto Daryl's lap, knockin' the wind out of him. Eli couldn't help but laugh at how oblivious to Daryl's discomfort Sarah seemed to be. She was happy and didn't want anyone rainin on her parade. That kid was so funny sometimes. She looked right at her, tryin' to feign some sort of authority in her eyes. "I will play somethin' little girl, but after this one I think that all the youngens' should head on to bed. It's late, dark, you guys shouldn't be out here anyway."

Lori raised her glass of water to Eli, "I agree there sweetheart, kids in bed after this song." She grinned Carl and tickled his side, "That means you guys had better pick a good one!"

"So what'll it be kids?" Maggie leaned her head on Glenn's shoulder. "Pick a song that'll give you nice dreams… we could all use a song like that after the day we've had, don't y'all think?"

"Amen to that!" T-Dog raised his wine glass, leaned over and gave a cheers to Herschel, Maggie and Glenn.

A few seconds of silence passed before a small voice broke out, Maddie shyly raisin' her hand behind her mother. "I have an idea of a good song."

Eli smiled at her, "Yah, and what's that?"

"The song from the Wizard of Oz… about the rainbow." Her voice was so quiet, eyes darting from one person to another, waiting for approval. It came quickly.

"I think that is a wonderful request Madison." Justin put his hand on the top of her head. She was blushin' deep red and smiling from ear to ear as everyone else joined in with her,

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow it is then?" Collective nods and smiles. Eli looked up to Merle quickly, he was watchin' her with a far away smile on his face. She nodded to him, he nodded back. She wanted him to know this was for him just like it was for everyone else. That she sang this song so he could hear it, and know that she forgave him. Forgave all of it. She really did need to talk to him, one on one, she realized. Her eyes then floated down to Daryl's. He was holding Sarah in his arms. An overwhelming happiness fell over her lookin' at the two of them there. Her eyes welled up and a tear or two spilled over.

"Honey are you okay?" Joanne leaned forward and touched her arm, her being the only one close enough to see the emotion on her face. Eli nodded quickly and swiped the tear away. It was time to sing. She started strumming her guitar, the familiar chords catching everyone's attention. There were some songs out there that everyone knew the words to, the rhythm, the feelin' they felt… it was the same as the person sittin' next to them. Eli couldn't help but say a silent thank you to Maddie, it'd be pretty hard to disappoint with this song as her platform

"_Somewhere over the rainbow  
way up high  
And the dreams that you dreamed of  
Once in a lullaby  
Oh somewhere over the rainbow  
Bluebirds fly  
And the dreams that you dream of  
Dreams really do come true  
Someday I'll wish upon a star  
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me  
Where trouble melts like lemon drops  
High above the chimney tops  
That's where you'll find me…"_

She finished the song out, quietly and inside of herself. She didn't move until she heard a choked voiced from behind her "Wow…"

She looked back and Maggie was sitting there, tears streaming down her face. She started laughing to cover her emotion. She was blushin, clapping quickly. Glenn joined in, Rick, Lori, Daryl lifted his arms from underneath Sarah and raised them high above his head. Clapped the loudest, "YAH AUNTIE!" Sarah ran up and wrapped her arms around Eli's waist. She chuckled inwardly. Shit, she must have done an alright job after all huh?

All the adults were walkin' there little ones off to bed. Daryl offered to take Sarah inside but Eli refused, She wanted to tuck her in, kiss her forehead as she slept. Sarah and Daryl had made this dark time feel as though no matter how hopeless she felt… there was always a chance for it to get better. As long as she had them, her family… life would be alright in the long run. Fuck the rest of it, she had two people that she had invested her love in. Where you invest your love… you invest your life.

She walked out of the building alone, trying to steady her breathing. She hadn't felt this overwhelmed with feelings that were positive since… well she couldn't remember to be honest. Her heart felt like it might explode, making room for all the good things she never made the time for in her past life. She saw Daryl walking towards the entrance of the building away from his brother's side. He locked eyes with hers. Everyone in the background fell apart, drifted away. Eli walked toward him, quicker paced… started to run. He stopped a few feet from her, and that was it. She grabbed him by both sides of his face, his arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her up off her feet. She kissed him hard, all the pain, sadness, happiness, hope…. Wrapped up in one kiss. His hands were in her hair, on her back , on the side of her neck. She held tight to the back of his, not willing to let him go. Their lips stayed joined together, pressed up one another until she leaned back, breathless. They were both panting,,, she looked up to him, to the people by the fire, than back to him. "Come to the cliffs with me tonight." She said quietly in his ear.

He leaned back, surprised. He knew what she meant, what would happen if he said yes to traveling that distance with her tonight. Knew what the implication was… knew that he wanted the same thing. That moment. he couldn't think of anything he would have wanted more than every inch of her. Every square inch of her porcelain skin, her sunflower eyes… "Yes… yes, okay."

She planted a kiss on his lips so light it could have been a feather. "Alright then… let's go."


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry it has been so long since I've updated, lots of work on my plate this week, no fun. I hope everyone enjoys reading this chapter, I worked on it pretty hard which is another reason why it took so long, I wasn't ready to let it out yet! Also thank you to Of Monsters and Men for this amazing song "Little Talks" to help me with this chapter. Beautiful song that I actually heard for the first time the other day, and Eli and Sarah immediately entered my mind. I really hope everyone likes this chapter as much as I liked writing it, and I'd love reviews if you have the time too, always nice to hear what others think! **

**Chapter Twenty Four**

He couldn't believe this was happening, the unexpectedness still took him by surprise, he had never known this side of her before… never knew about true passion until this night. His eyes hovered over hers, her shaking body underneath his, they didn't break their gaze as they kissed. Daryl slowly entered her again, tentatively, "Is this okay?..." He asked "Does this feel good?"

She brought her lips up to his again, ran her hands down his back and pulled him deeper inside. A low moan escaped her lips and then a quiet "Yes." Came out. This was their second time in a matter of an hour or so. Getting out there had taken so long, they stopped in the middle of the woods and lost it right there. Tore at each other's clothes, landed on the ground so quickly she had scraped both of her elbows. The first time was feverish, she had never felt so turned on by any man she had ever been with… not that that number was particularly high, but she had her fair share of sexual experiences. Not one of those men made her feel heat the way Daryl did. She realized quickly after they were finished, when he looked into her eyes and kissed her slowly, that she loved him. She was so ridiculously in love with him that there was no way this sex could be bad… it wasn't even sex at this point. She was making love to Daryl… was giving him a gift she had never given to anyone else… and it felt right… of course she wouldn't tell him that, but it was something for her to admit to herself.

His hands were in her hair, lips on her neck, his hips moving in sexy figure eights inside of her. She locked her ankles around his lower back and began moving with him, in their own rhythm. He started moving faster and she felt tingling rising up to her stomach, chest, neck… mouth. "Daryl…" She let out a sharp breath as he lifted her from the sand slightly with his rise, pushed her down further with every thrust. "Daryl… I'm almost there… come with me."

He was panting above her, nodded and leaned in, kissed her hard. She could feel her muscles tighten around him, the shivers going up and down her body, lasting and lasting. She heard him groan, looked up as he winced, grabbing the sand in one hand and a fistful of her hair in the other. The tug on the back of her head made her whole body explode. "God dammit Eli… Fuck…. Eli…" The words were hurried, he couldn't catch his breath, and his body collapsed on to hers. He could feel her plant light kisses on his face, bare her teeth slightly and bite his bottom lip. They were quiet for a few moments, than Eli got up quickly and ran to the water. He sat up and watched her dip down underneath the cool dark water and back up, She exited slowly wringing out her hair on to the sand, and he spent those moments taking her in, looking at her naked skin out in the early morning light. He noticed some familiar scars… some newer, pinker, unfamiliar ones. Scars she had acquired after this hell started… but here looking at her now, he really wondered if he had the right to consider this hell. He wasn't in hell anymore like he had been when he thought she hated him. Thought she was dead. And here he was, a month later, making love to her in the woods that belonged to them. Not the others, not the walkers. These woods were theirs now, and he could have stayed there forever with her.

She walked up and grabbed her underwear, through his shirt at him playfully. "The sun is rising in the east there Dixon, and you and I got a little one back at home." She winked and he laughed at her, He was buttoning up his shirt when she walked up behind him, placed her hands over his and began buttoning for him. He reached behind him, all the way around to behind her head, swiveled his head and kissed her on the lips. She smiled at him. "You know, I'm surprised that I didn't freak you out with that comment just now."

He turned around as she stretched her shirt up over her head, pulled her shorts on quickly. "What comment?"

"About having a 'little one back home'. I thought you'd turn sheet white when I said that. I guess I can't even fuck with you anymore, you know too well not to take me seriously."

He chuckled and grabbed up the rest of his gear, took her hand as he led her up the side of the cliff. "Why would that freak me out? Technically we do, she's our responsibility. We love her… I love her like she's mine. You've always loved her the same, we'd do anything for her… risk anything. So again… why would that freak me out?"

She stopped cold, stopping him with her. He looked back to her, at the tears in her eyes, the smile on her face, and all was right with the world. He had never felt more at peace. He tugged her arm til she fell in stride with him, walking through the forest, again, hand in hand. Nothing could ruin this day. Not damn thing in the world.

**Later That Night…**

Eli and Maggie were sittin' on the giant dead tree she and Daryl had come upon on their travel home. Eli knew it was going to fall days earlier, could see the heaviness in its gray branches, roots comin up out of the ground. She was only sorry she hadn't been there to see it, hadn't felt the ground shake and the trunk crack under the pressure, it must have been incredible to watch. She had excitedly let go of Daryl's hand, ran ahead of him and yelled back "Move the rocks for the fire pit, we're having breakfast out here this morning!" By the time she had gotten back outside with a sleepy Sarah grasping her hand tightly Daryl was with Merle, Jeremy, and T-Dog. They were by the already started fire, strapping weapons to their belt loops and jackets.

"Off to scavenge, take a look around, make sure things are safe." Daryl spoke to her as she approached with question in her eyes. She looked around at the other men, took in that Merle had just handed one of his shotguns to T-Dog without question. Merle looked up and met her eyes, and she gave him a slight smile. He nodded back to her and turned to head off into the woods, the other men trailing behind. Daryl leaned in and kissed Eli softly on the lips. "We'll be back before dark, maybe a little later. Take care of yourself today… have fun or somethin'… might be good for ya." He smiled at her. She hadn't realized it before that moment, but his smile was beautiful in a way she couldn't explain. Guess she'd never noticed before now… he hadn't ever been much for smilin'.

She decided to take his advice and spent the whole rest of the day by that tree. Singin, runnin' up to the end of the tree and jumpin off into the river. Lori, Eli and Joanne took the little ones out where the water ran up over their knees. Eli bent down and took Sarah's small feet into her hands. "You ready? Huh little girl? I'm gonna _launch_ you!" Sarah was laughing uncontrollably, grippin' on to Eli's shoulders and nodding her approval. Eli lifted her high and threw her out a little further. As soon as Sarah escaped her grasp she started swimming to where Sarah would land. As they floated together with the river's current, holding a rope Eli had fastened to one of the dying branches, they sang songs to each other. Songs they knew the other would want to hear. Everyone up on the shore and littered in the water… not a care in the world. For a few moments, life was normal again. Eli could look around and think that things weren't so horrifying, if only for a few minutes, hours… days. She had been given so many gifts in one month's time that complaining would be a sin. She had a family now, almost a whole one, which is a lot more than most of these people surrounding her could say.

By the time the men had returned almost everyone was surrounding the fire, children inside with Joanne and Cassie. Maggie had requested a song she hadn't ever heard before, and Eli decided to go with one of her own. She lied to them and said it was by a local band she couldn't remember the name of, it would be the first time she played this song with anyone present but Sarah… but for some reason she felt brave tonight. Capable of more than she usually was. She looked up to Daryl who was starin' at her, noddin, nudging her along. "Come on babe, sing us a song if your poor little voice isn't worn out by now."

Merle snorted from behind Daryl, he was in the middle of skinnin a fish that Carl had caught earlier in the day. "Babe?" His eyes looked up with that mean smile on his face, his eyes finding Eli's. Everyone was quiet for a moment, waiting for her to blow up, waiting for the inevitable fight to ensue

"Yeah, babe." Eli walked over to where Merle was and pulled a knife out of her pocket. She flipped the blade up and held it about a foot away from his face, keeping her eyes locked on his. He was nervous, leaning back with his own knife gripped in his hand tightly. She slowly kneeled down next to him and slipped the tip of her knife in between the skin and bones of the fish with ease. "Here, use my knife, it's sharper. You need to get that thing sharpened, you couldn't slice a piece of bread with that thing." She got up and started walking away, smile on her face. Everyone else either smiling at her or down at the ground.

Merle let a laugh go, one filled without much contempt… maybe just a little this time. "Girl, why the hell would I be slicing bread?"

"You ain't gonna slice anything with that dull POS Merle and you know it. Just use my knife and clean it before you give it back to me please." She sat back down next to Daryl who put his arm around her and kissed the side of her neck softly.

Merle smiled at her, shakin his head. "You got it girly. Now sing us that song Maggie asked for. Even ol' Merle could use some music tonight… even if you the best we got."

She asked Daryl to go inside and fetch Sarah. Everyone continued on with their conversations while she nervously tuned her guitar. She glanced around and her eyes landed on Merle, who was starin' at her. Didn't even look away when she caught him. "Can I help you?" She asked smirkin' at him.

He cocked his head to the side, pressed his lips together, obviously contemplating what he was gonna say next. Looked like the words were gettin' caught in his throat. He shrugged and said, quietly, "I'm glad you the best we got… for music I mean… you ain't bad is all I'm sayin…"

She smiled, feelin' Daryl and Sarah settle in next to her. "Thank you Merle, that's real nice of you to say."

Daryl looked at her confused, then to his brother. "You? Nice? Since when?"

Merle shrugged again, a second away from becoming agitated at the attention being paid to him. Eli picked up on it immediately and looked to Sarah, who was rubbin her eyes and yawning. "Hey there little girl, will you sing with me?"

Her whole body perked up. "Which one auntie?"

She leaned down and whispered in her ear, even so Daryl couldn't hear. "The one we wrote together, remember, about your mom? I told everyone it was by someone else, so no one will know the words belong to us." She could feel Sarah nodding next to her. Sarah didn't like people askin' questions anymore than Eli did. "No one will know, 'cept you and me. Maybe Daryl and Merle, but that's it. We should sing it honey, we should be proud, don't mean others gotta be proud with us right? It's enough that we are…. You ready?"

Eli leaned back and looked at her young niece, smile wide, eyes glistening with innocent tears. Tears for her mother, tears for her aunt that wanted her to succeed, wanted her to be proud of herself. Eli knew she couldn't take Em's place, never could, but she was going to do her best by Sarah. Make sure she lived a long, happy-ish life. Whatever she could do for Sarah, she would do. Her love knew no bounds, Truth was, if Eli allowed herself to feel the full magnitude of her love for Sarah, it might prove to be too much to take. All Eli wanted was for Sarah to be happy, for her to remember Em and appreciate that she had not one, but too women that loved her like a daughter. Eli hadn't even had the luxury of having one mother care about her that much… she didn't want Sarah to feel that pain.

"Alright everyone, ready for a song?" A few cheers, nods and claps were heard. Most of the people were having their own conversations, not really payin' too much attention, and Eli didn't mind one bit. Maggie, Glenn, Daryl and Merle were all lookin' at them, and they really didn't need much of an audience to begin with. Eli looked down at Sarah and quietly said "Okay, remember now, you sing like you're Em… Your mom… and I'll sing like I'm us… remember how it goes? Like we're havin' a conversation. You ready?" Sarah nodded and they began, Eli with the happy strums of her guitar. The chords not matching the words like they should, but somehow sounding the way it was supposed to sound.

Eli began; "I don't like walking around this old and empty house…"

Sarah's little voice chimed in, and people began turning their heads "So hold my hand I'll walk with you my dear…"

"The stairs creek as I sleep, it's keeping me awake." Eli's voice was subdued, quiet.

"It's the house telling you to close your eyes" Sarah again, her sweet voice filling the night air. The song continued on this way…

"Some days I can't even trust myself….  
It's killing me to see you this way…"

Their voices joined at the chorus. "Cause though the truth may vary this,  
Ship will carry our  
Bodies safe to shore…"

Eli began in again "There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back…"

Sarah smiled, lips trembling a little as she sang "Well tell her that I miss our little talks…" Maddie and Carl and parked themselves right next to her, smiling at her voice.

"Soon it will be over and buried with our past…  
We used to play outside when we were young, and full of life and full of love  
Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right…  
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear….

Cause though the truth may very this  
Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore  
Don't listen to a word I say  
The screams all sound the same  
Cause though the truth may vary this  
Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore."

Eli felt a lump rise up in her throat, she looked over to Sarah, smiling at her friends and tapping the small ring on her left hand against the log she was seated on, making a drumming noise. Lori, Rick and the others were clapping along with the beat. Eli couldn't remember feeling this alive since… well she guessed since the night before with Daryl. Just a different kind of alive she was guessing. Their voices joined in together again, haunting and capturing everyone's attention, as the song was meant to do. She knew the power it had, she knew how it made her feel, it must have some sort of affect on others. She and her little niece let loose their voices, each powerful in their own ways, to finish out the song that meant so much to both of them… Sarah had written the next verse and Eli had never been prouder of her…

"You're gone gone gone away  
I watched you disappear  
All that's left is a ghost of you…  
Now we're torn torn torn apart  
There's nothing we can do  
Just let me go we'll meet again soon…"

Both of them took in a deep breath collectively, let all the power behind all their pain and anguish escape in one moment, and it felt so right, such a relief. Eli looked over to Sarah as she continued on, watching one tear fall from her eye, smiling at the same time

"Now wait wait wait for me  
I'll see you when I fall asleep….  
Don't listen to a word I say,  
The screams all sound the same,  
Cause though the truth may vary this  
Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore…  
Cause though the truth may vary this  
Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore…"

The song ended slowly, chords fading out with the wind on the river. Everyone was quiet until Eli's hand stilled… and suddenly there was an explosion of applause. Sarah jumped on to Eli's lap, crying and laughing at the same time. Daryl had an eye on her, playing with his knife nervously. He knew that song was written by them, knew it in his bones. He got up and grabbed Sarah off Eli's lap, lifted her up underneath her arms as if to present her to the whole group.

"Here she is ladies and gents… the next great singer of her generation… SARAH HAYES! Booyah!"

Everyone clapped and cheered, and all Eli could do was lean back and take it in. She glanced over to where Merle had been sitting. The fish was sitting there half gutted and she looked up in time to see his body slip into the woods about twenty yards away. She looked up, seeing everyone preoccupied with the celebration they deserved. Daryl looked down at her while she was slipping her handgun into her back pocket. He set Sarah down into the hands of everyone else "What are you doin?" He asked, beginning to follow Eli as she quickly headed toward the woods.

"I have to talk to Merle. I'll be back soon."

"You ain't goin into those woods at night without me Eli." He said firmly

"Yes I am." She turned quickly, grabbed Daryl's face in her hands and kissed him slowly. When she separated from him he had a far away look in his eyes… she really enjoyed the effect she had on him. No one had loved her like this before. "I have to do this alone… I can take care of myself Daryl… he won't hurt me… no one will. I need to talk to him Daryl, he needs to talk to me too. You get that don't you?"

He nodded, looking at the ground.

"I'll be back, trust me. Hopefully more peaceful then when I left…. And that's sayin something that this moment." She kissed him again on the lips lightly. "Thank you for being concerned Daryl, I can handle myself with Merle and any other slightly less frightening monster that comes along."

Daryl chuckled, looked at the dark woods. "Be careful Eli… be back within an hour or I'm coming out looking for you, hear me?"

"Of course I do… babe."

God, Daryl loved the sound of that.


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay so this chapter is pretty dark and kind of violent. If you don't like certain types of violence than you might want to skip this chapter. I hope that people like this chapter, despite the difficult topic that I chose to include. I figure that even when the world ends, there are going to be people left behind who are just as evil as they were before, so why not write about it? Please review and let me know what you think of this story so far. I want to continue but reviews have been scarce and I'm not sure if anyone is really reading it anymore. Anyway, I hope whoever reads it enjoys it. Thanks everyone!**

**Chapter Twenty Five**

The cold was starting to settle in her bones. She had been out there for over an hour, trackin' Merle's steps, waiting for the moment where she'd turn a corner and see him sittin' by a tree, sharpenin' his knife, cleanin' his gun… somethin'. But he wasn't anywhere to be found. All she had were his foot prints and rustled leaves he had left behind when he took off. She was headed in the opposite direction of her cliff she loved so much, the woods were unrecognizable to her, and it made her nervous.

As hour two approached, she knew Daryl would be worrying by now, which gave her some relief. At least if something bad happened Daryl would know how to find her, he'd figure it out. She started to noticed that the stride Merle was taking had slowed, shorter distances between footsteps, he was getting tired, she could see. He had to be around here somewhere. She heard the sound of a brook nearby, and decided to stray from the path for a moment to fill up her canteen. She found the brook easily, only a about a dozen yards away from where Merle's track was, and bent over to fill it with the cool water. She let it flow over her hands, cool the blisters she had from climbing the rocks earlier that day.

"You shouldn't drink from any brooks around here." The voice behind her made her still… it wasn't Merle's. She didn't even turn her head. "We got some chemicals back at the compound we use to test the drinking water. You don't wanna drink out of a creek that a walker has been rotting in a couple miles up just cuz you were too much of a dumb shit to bring your own."

She turned slowly and her gaze met Jeremy's. He was standing there, knife in hand, with a scowl on his face like nothin' she'd seen before from him. Her heart startin' beating fast, cold sweat was dripping down her face. He smiled at little at her condition, happy he was makin' her nervous. She never knew much about Jeremy, didn't care to, she just knew that he frightened her some. Didn't seem to have much of a moral code, and was always giving her the evil eye for one reason or another. She had never met up with him face to face alone before, she never really wanted too… how had she not heard him behind her? She attempted to grab her knife hanging from her belt loop but his eyes were quicker than her hands.

"Uh-uhn now…" He quickly bent down and put the tip of his knife underneath her chin ever so lightly, held it there while he grabbed her hunting knife from behind her. He roughly took hold her waist with his left hand while keeping his knife pressed lightly to her throat, dragged her up to her feet. She stood silent and helpless as he grabbed the gun out of the back of her pants, letting his hand linger there long enough to make her want to scream. Lastly he unsnapped her quiver in the front, throwing her bow and all her arrows to the ground a few feet away from where they were standing. She glanced over, silently wondering how difficult it would be to reach those weapons in the predicament she was in. He laughed cruelly as he forced her face towards his, made her look him in the eyes… dead eyes. Deader than those walkers everyone was so afraid of… all this time she had known she didn't like Jeremy, knew he was dangerous. He was the one they should have been looking out for, not the geeks. Her knees were beginning to tremble, her muscles felt weak.

"Not so tough now, are ya girl?" He sneered at her, lips curling back against his yellow teeth. His hair was greasy, like he hadn't taken a wash in days, and all she could smell was his sweet liquor breath. Her whole body was frozen in terror, she couldn't will herself to talk. "You don't got yer knife, bow… gun… nothin. It's just you and me out here darlin', the only ones around to hear you scream are gonna eat you alive when I'm done with ya."

"What do you want?" She willed herself to ask meekly, feeling the cool steel against her skin, reminding her not to say anything too harsh. He'd cut her throat and leave her to die easily, she knew that much.

"What do I want?" He laughed loudly, head tilted back. His eyes met hers again as he answered her loaded question. "So many things Eli… I want _so many things…"_ His free hand was on her lower back, roughly rubbing her skin underneath her shirt. It traveled down to her ass and grabbed so tight she knew she was going to have a bruise. She let out a small whimper of pain, unable to control it. He laughed again, cruelty in his voice. "First, I want _you_, on this ground here, where you belong. I want you to take your clothes off, and I want you to lay down… and I'm going to fuck you. You won't enjoy one minute of it there sweet heart, I'm gonna make sure of that."

Tears started falling freely down Eli's face. Out of all things, this is what she feared most. She felt a familiar sickness in her stomach, a bad taste in her mouth… blood. She had bitten down on her lip so hard she had begun to bleed. Jeremy noticed this instantly and roughly planted his lips on hers, invaded her mouth with his tongue. She held her hands to his chest, attempting to push him away, but he just pressed the tip of his blade to her throat a little harder this time. She felt it pierce her tender skin. He ripped his face away and licked the blood off of his lips. "I like the way you taste when you're scared Eli… tastes like…" He licked his lips again… "Victory… yah that's it." He pulled her toward him again, pushed his crotch into her and clumsily pushed her to the ground. She was sobbing then.

"What did I do to you? What did I do?" She kept crying, over and over again. He had ripped her shirt in half, pulled off her jeans and let them lie at her ankles. He settled over her, put one of his knees right on her thigh, pinching the skin to the ground. She reached up as he let go of her to unsnap his pants and grabbed a fistful of hair, ripped at it hard, tore it right out of his skull. He hollered out in pain and grabbed her wrist again, forgetting his jeans. Reached up with his other hand and a closed fist and hit her in the side of the face, hard.

"You fuckin' bitch!" He hit her again, sent blood flying against a nearby tree. He pinned both of her arms down again with angry strength she couldn't match if she tried. "You coulda had it easy… now I'm gonna make you fuckin' pay."

Eli could only open one eye, looked up at him as he was struggling to keep both of her arms down and undo his clothes at the same time. "Pay for what?" She asked quietly, willing this to end. Wishing she were stronger.

"You show up and Merle just fuckin' disappears. You and that brother of his fillin his head with your bullshit. Mother fucker won't even talk to me no more unless we're out huntin. None of you pieces of shit will." He held the knife to her throat and positioned himself above her, grinning mercilessly. Eli prepared herself for the worst. She knew how this went. She knew what he was going to do to her. It was time to shut herself off, she couldn't change it now. Deep down, as much as she wanted it to be different she knew she didn't have any control over this. The harder she fought him, the worst it would be. "I'm gonna _make_ you respect me bitch, _make_ you realize you shouldn't fuck with me. And that useless 'boyfriend' of yours is gonna respect me too, like it or not. Merle is gonna hear about this girl, you best believe that. He hates you, _hates you, _so he's gonna be proud of me." She couldn't look in his eyes, had her head turned to the side, could feel his warm breath on her ear. "He's gonna wish he thought of this 'fore I did. It'll make everyone listen… He'll respect me after this you slut, he'll respect-"

Eli heard a thick crack and felt Jeremy's weight come off of her immediately. She looked up in time to see the thick branch Merle had clocked him with fall to the ground, and with his good hand he tore the man off of her, slamming him into the tree stained red with her own blood. Jeremy ran right at him, fists clenched, ready to fight. The two men were scuffling behind her, swearing and pounding each other with such viciousness that Eli thought that they'd both die in this fight… Eli wasn't going to let that happen.

She crawled toward her pile of weapons, slowly and painfully, and grabbed a hold of the closest one to her. An arrow with a tip so sharp it could puncture metal if it were movin fast enough. When she turned to face them, still layin on her back, Jeremy was on top of Merle, hands around his neck. Merle was hitting him in the side, where his kidney was, over and over again. As Eli limped over she could see he was losing strength, each hit coming weaker and weaker against Jeremy's side. Jeremy laughed crazily, shook Merle's thick neck in his hands as he squeezed, enjoying every moment of his own brutality. Enjoying it so much he didn't notice the sneaky girl crawling up behind him.

She stood up as quickly as she could, looked Merle right in his eyes that were swollen with burst blood vessels, foam was comin' out of the corners of his mouth…

And she drove that arrow through Jeremy's ribcage, right around to the front where his black heart was.

He slumped over almost immediately, Merle was gasping for air as Jeremy's grip on his neck ceased. He turned and coughed up blood as Jeremy lay beside him dying. Eli collapsed next to Merle, lifted a hand to his back and began to hit him right in between his shoulder blades, helping him cough of up the rest of what was sitting in his chest. They both just laid there and listened to the evil man beside them take his last breath, a dreary silence following. Eli turned her head to face Merle's and he was lookin at her, tryin to catch his breath. She let the tears fall freely, too afraid to wipe them away. "Thank you Merle." She managed.

He coughed again, lookin up at the trees, confusion in his eyes. "For what?"

"For saving me… for saving my life."

He reached out shakily and grabbed her hand. Held it tight. "Don't thank me… we're even now." He looked at her and his eyes grew wide. He reached down and grabbed a white cloth from his pocket, handed it to her. "Hold this up to your eye… that cut I gave you a while back… it's opened up and it's bad. It's gonna need stitches…"

She did as he told her to as they both struggled to their feet, collecting their things in silence, every movement painful. Eli looked over at Jeremy lying by the creek lifeless. "Did you hear me? Is that why you came?"

Merle shook his head and rubbed his neck, dark bruises already forming. "I knew he'd follow me, he follows me everywhere. When he didn't show up I knew something was wrong so I doubled back… I didn't think you'd be there… you shouldn't be traveling out here alone. Thought Daryl had more sense than to let you come out here alone." His voice was hoarse like he'd just swallowed sandpaper.

Eli looked to the ground. "He does… he didn't want me to come. I convinced him I'd be alright."

"Yeah well he's gonna take one look at you and never let you out of his sight again, cuz you ain't alright, you beat to hell." He shook his head. Eli walked over to him and stood directly in front of him. He was so much taller than her, almost a half a foot. Taller than Daryl even. She felt dwarfed next to him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. He held his hands up in the air as if he were being apprehended by the police or something. "What are you doin girl?"

"I _am_ alright Merle. You saved me. He'd let me out of his sight if you were there with me… I'm alright because of you. I'm alive because _you saved me_." She let him go and held the rag up to her eye again. "Let's get back to camp, we can save this talk for another time… when we're surrounded by less dead people."

Merle chuckled and grabbed her gear, threw it over his shoulder along with his own. "Girl, we are always surrounded by dead people… where the hell have you been?"


	26. Chapter 26

**I hope everyone that's reading enjoys this chapter. I have become fascinated with the life that the four of them shared (Eli, Daryl, Merle and Emily) before all of the bad things happened. Complicated relationships are my forte, I get it, and I'm just going with what I know I suppose. I don't know how much longer I'm going to go with this story, it's plenty long already, but I have an idea of where it is going. I'm just not sure if I should split it up into more than one story considering this one already has twenty six chapters. If anyone wants there to be more on Daryl and Eli and this story, than I'm going to consider a "book two" type situation. If not I'm going to try to find a good way to end it without sacrificing the story in my head. Either way, I hope people have liked what I've written. It's been therapeutic, interesting, and eye opening. I want to write. I enjoy it. It's nice to know that for sure now. **

**Chapter Twenty Six**

"_So you think that'll be you one day Merle?" Eli smiled as she leaned against the side of her soon-to-be brother in-law's truck... or so she guessed. They had both stepped outside of their respective vehicles at the local drive in. Strictly for hipsters and other nomads with nothing else to do on a Saturday night but be ironic. She had convinced these two redneck boys to come, in their huge matchin Ford trucks. Merle's blue, Daryl's green, both in rough shape, pretty much beat to hell. But here in this quiet Georgia town, you woulda thought they'd all arrived in a limo the way some of the locals were treating them. Havin Eli and Em with them didn't hurt, they were like their own personal car models… although when Merle suggested it Em gave him a sock in the stomach that silenced him pretty quickly._

_The movie showing that night was an Adam Sandler movie that had come out quite a few years prior, The Wedding Singer. The very end, after Adam Sandler sings to Drew Barrymore on the airplane, Billy Idol cheering them on and shoving the bad guy in an airplane bathroom never to be seen again. Merle smiled at the screen, taking a long drag off his cigarette. These were the only times the two of them ever had together where she could probe him for any type of information concerning Emily and him. Em certainly never offered up information, unless you count the rare occasions where she felt as though she needed advice… which she always turned to Eli for. Like Eli knew what the hell she was doing as far as men were concerned. But from the moment she met the Dixon brothers she felt like maybe she could understand men after all, certain types of men. Men who were distant, tortured in ways… sort of a curse she supposed. But it was better than catering to a man in an outdated Abercrombie and Fitch sweater complaining about the air conditioning in his pent house apartment (which she had experienced before, by the way). She understood the Dixon men, could relate to them. She loved that Emily had fallen for Merle. After their first date, which she was very skeptical to participate in, Em returned with a smile so wide it engulfed her whole face. Talked about how this guy had played the same game over and over until he won her the bear she had pointed out in the beginning. A whole line of people behind him and he kept feeding the carney more and more money, despite the very loud jeers he was receiving from the crowd behind him. In the end Emily walked in that front door with a bear two thirds the size of her, and a faraway look in her eyes._

"_Oh a man that went out of his way to impress you?" Eli had teased that evening, trying to ignore the obvious signals her sister was giving off. The 'I'm already in love with him' vibes. Eli was used to Emily returning from a date, bored and ready to watch Deadliest Warrior with her on Netflix. Not this new version that would be happy to go to her room and dream about a night she had just had two hours earlier. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous, although she was surprised at her own reaction. "How surprising! How long do you think til he tries to sleep with you? I give it fifteen, twenty hours… tops."_

_Em snorted at her and put her bear on the kitchen counter next to the open box of mac n' cheese Eli was cooking. "He's different Eli." Eli rolled her eyes as she was draining the pasta in the sink. She bumped her sister in her side_

"_Scoot over! I'm gonna get boiling water on you." Eli shook her head, set the pasta down in the sink and turned to lean against the cold metal. She looked hard at her love lost sister. Wondered silently if this one would last. It had been a while since a man had made her eyes cloud over like this… and he had disappeared the moment he found out Emily was pregnant. Denied that he was the father up until the moment he died, bullet to the head in his own basement, with the family he had strayed from long enough to leave Em with a child to raise on her own. They had all gone in the first wave, Eli knew it and wasn't one bit sorry. Still, that man had given her the gift of a life time. And Merle was the only one since to see that. Merle and Daryl both. Saw what Sarah was… a ray a light in a dark world. She could bring a smile to anyone's face, it was a quality all the Hayes girls shared._

"_I take it the date went well huh?" Eli sat up on the other side of the sink, letting the pasta drain._

"_Yeah it did… we're gonna go fishing with him and his younger brother Daryl tomorrow." She said dreamily as she slipped off the counter and planted her feet back on the tile. _

"_What?" Eli looked at her sister skeptically "Yah right… the last time you took me fishing with a boyfriend I made him so mad because I caught more fish than he did that he threw all his gear in the water… than tried to make ME pay for it! I don't think so darling, no fishin' for me. Can't you just go alone?"_

_Emily frowned at her younger sister, swatted her on the arm. "Look, Merle said his brother don't get out much, and when I told him we liked to fish, he practically begged me to bring you along-"_

"_As what exactly? A date for his socially retarded younger brother? Gee thanks Em, you really made my night. Why don't you just pawn me off on the street corner if you're that desperate for me to have a date so I'm out of your hair?" Eli jumped off the counter and headed to the living room ignoring her sister's reminders that she still had pasta to finish cookin up. Let her finish it her damn self…_

_There was slamming of pots and pans, drawers being opened and shut for no apparent reason. Eli sat back, silently enjoying that she had put a damper on Emily's 'perfect night'. She was never gonna see Em now, she'd always be with that… guy. And Eli would be home with Sarah… or even worse…. Alone…. With nothing and no one to keep her company. The thought made her queasy, she hated being left alone for more than an hour or so. She got inside her own head too much, started to panic, felt like no one was ever gonna be there for her to talk to ever again. She didn't really understand where the fear came from, but it shook her down to her bones._

_Emily came out a few minutes later, handed Eli a glass of chardonnay and a bowl of macaroni and cheese. "Thanks." Eli muttered as she took a sip of her drink._

"_I know why you're acting this way, so I'm not mad at you, okay?" Emily looked at her sister dead in her eyes and put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "I promise I'm not mad at you."_

_Eli shook her hand off her shoulder "I'm acting this way because you are trying to get me to date some dude that I don't even know just so you can have some time alone with his brother. You're making me look cheap, like I'm an easy date or something. 'Aw shucks, go ahead and take me fishin', let's go muddin on the trails outside a' town, I don't know the difference between hangin out or goin on a date cuz I'm just a simple country bumpkin'. Give me a fuckin break Emily."_

_Em let her sister go off on her tare, let her vent and put her wall up, because she knew moments later exactly how to bring it back down again. When Eli fell silent Emily scooted in close to her, put her arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm not gonna disappear on you again Eli. I promise."_

_The silence that followed was deafening, Emily had seen through her so easily, and Eli was almost grateful. She spoke up after a few minutes. "You can't again… it was too hard the last time this happened, and now Sarah's here too… I get lonely when you're not around."_

"_Honey don't you get it?" Emily smiled and shook her head. "That's why I invited you along, that's why Merle did this for Daryl too. At the very least you two will be fast friends. I met him tonight… he's quiet and reserved, just like you prefer." Em nudged her smiling sister in the side playfully "And he's awful cute too, taller than you by quite a bit… thought you might like that too. See Eli? You're sister's lookin out for you always. Now… will you come out with us tomorrow?"_

_However many weeks later, while she and Merle were leaning against his truck smoking their cigarettes and enjoying the silence they usually shared, Eli felt like bein' nosy. She was watching Drew Barrymore's happily ever after on screen. She wondered aloud to Merle if she was ever going to see her sister's happily ever after. She had never seen Emily fall in love at such a rapid speed… and he was good to her. When she looked at him, held his rough hand in her own, she was content. Eli knew this much to be true._

_Merle snuffed out his cigarette and looked at Eli sideways. "Whatchu mean? Married?"_

_Eli nodded, smiling slightly up at Merle. She could see Daryl inside his truck, head leaned back, drifting off to sleep. They had all hiked a mountain trail earlier in the day and were worn out because of it, but Daryl was the worst off. He had been carrying Sarah on his back for at least an hour before they stopped at the top, and then another hour or so before handing her off to Merle for the last leg of the trip. Sarah had simply tugged on his shirt and said 'I'm tired Daryl'. And he bent down and let her climb on to his back. Didn't mind one bit. These men were something else, didn't have any idea what they were worth. Neither of them._

"_Maybe… I dunno. Why are you askin' me that dummy? I've been datin' Em for a coupla months… that's it." He frowned down at the ground._

"_Uh huh… what's your point?" Eli nudged him with her elbow "You love her right?"_

_Merle stood up straight and tugged up on his jeans, adjusted his leather motorcycle vest and cleared his throat. He was attempting to pull of his best 'tough guy' persona while discussing the slight woman in the front seat of his truck. The gentle, sweet, smart girl with blonde curls down to her shoulder blades and a twinkle in her big blue eyes. He wasn't foolin' Eli for a second. "Its okay buddy, you don't have to say it. You can deny it if you want, I know it's true." He looked over to her with his practiced blank look as she turned and opened the driver's side door to Daryl's truck, jarring him awake and motioning for him to scoot over. She looked over her shoulder and winked at Merle. "Don't worry, I won't tell."_

**Her good eye opened and looked upward toward the sun. She was moving but couldn't feel her feel her feet on the ground. Eli reached up and put her hand on Merle's chest. He must have been carrying her for a while now, she guessed. He gently set her down as she leaned over and started coughing wildly. His hand landed on her back, patting it reassuringly, trying to help her get the heaviness out of her chest. After a few minutes she collapsed backward onto the ground, sitting on the wet leaves, leaning solely on the palms of her hands. Merle looked at her without really looking, another practiced move of the Dixon men, and reached his hand out. "Come on girl, get up. You've been out for almost an hour. They are gonna be out here lookin' for us, we gotta get back."**

**Eli kept her eyes on the ground, trying her hardest not to feel the swelling in her face, the crudely wrapped bandage on her wound above her eyes. Her legs were shaky, her breath was short and pained. Merle took in a breath and sat down next to her, picking her hands up off of the ground, moving her body towards his. Forcing her to lean on him. "You're gonna be okay, we gonna get you back, and you gonna be just fine. Herschel will stitch you up, you'll be good as new."**

**Her tears fell fast and stung her face. "I'm scared." She managed. The words she spoke came as some of a shock to Merle, his whole body tensing at her words. Eli had never admitted to being scared of anything… She was shaken… and so was he. "I just killed a man Merle… I killed him. A live man with a past, memories…"**

"**He deserved to die." He stated simply**

"**I'm still scared… cuz I didn't… I don't… I don't feel bad." She choked out, sobs escaping her chest. "I know what he was doin', I know more than anything or anyone that it was wrong… but still. What does that say about me? I don't choose who lives or dies, that's not my fuckin' decision….What kind of a person don't feel bad when they drive an arrow through a man's heart?"**

**He let her cry, let her wallow in it for a few minutes longer… and then he stood up quickly, putting his arms underneath her again and lifting her. She looked up at him confused. "You shouldn't be on your feet. We'll be back to camp soon. Just try and relax, you're gonna give yourself a fuckin' stroke. Calm down."**

**She did. She leaned against his chest and gave in to her own exhaustion. She knew how many questions she'd have to answer when she got back. Knew how many explanations she'd have to dole out. The only thing she wanted at that moment was to sleep and forget that these past few hours had ever happened. She was good at rewinding her own tape and recording over the bad parts. She'd been doing it her whole life, she could do it now. She had to, otherwise she'd never know how to get back to herself. She buried it down deep where it wouldn't hurt her again, where she kept all her secrets. Where it was safe from intrusion… hidden from everyone but her.**


	27. Chapter 27

**I have decided I'm going to be splitting this story up into separate books, because I'm not done with it yet but it has a ridiculous amount of chapters already, haha. It's actually kind of cool because it allows me to tell the whole story that's in my head. One more chapter after this and this book is done with, and I'll get started on my next if people want to read it. So if this chapter and the last chapter makes you want more, let me know! Thank you everyone for reading, I hope you like what I'm dishing out!**

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

**Eli**

She watched her reflection in the dirty mirror above Herschel's bathroom sink. The old man's hands were steady as he weaved a needle in and out of her skin, closing up the gaping wound hanging over her eyebrow. She wondered if she'd ever look the same again. An involuntary tear fell off the bottom of her chin and landed on Herschel's knee. He stopped to look down at it, and raised his eyes to hers.

"You're strong enough to get through this Eli… you know that right?" His light blue eyes searched her face, trying to find the truth. She nodded silently, grabbing the edges of the sink she was hoisted upon, holding it tight, as though if she let go she'd fall off the face of the earth. "You are one of the strongest girls I know." He dabbed the blood trickling down the side of her face lightly with a damp cloth. "You remind me of my girl Maggie in that way. You two, if left to your own devices… well you could rule the world. You're both compassionate, strong girls with good heads on your shoulders. You know… I've come to think of you as somewhat of a daughter." His voice was quiet, Eli kept her eyes on a smudge at the top of his mirror, careful not to look at him or her own image staring back at her. She couldn't face any of it yet. "I care about you a great deal… I don't want anything bad to happen to you… this sort of thing… well, it could ruin you. Could ruin your outlook on life and the people around you, the way you look at yourself.. You can't look into your own soul and not like what you see… you have to move past that Eli… you understandin' me now?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes." Her tone was monosyllabic, her eyes empty. Herschel carefully placed a bandage over her wound and watched as she painfully made her way off the counter. Watching her favoring the leg he had also stitched up, tears streaming down her face silently, it was all he could do not to wrap her up in his arms. Make her understand that he cared… everyone out there… they all did. She couldn't just shut them off, pretend they weren't there… but if he pushed… well they'd all lose her. And that just couldn't happen.

"You should get back out there to Daryl… I know he's worried about you." Herschel's voice was quiet, his body still.

Eli nodded again. "Okay."

The old man watched her as she limped slowly out of the room, one hand resting at her side, the other lightly touching the bandage on her forehead. Silent and numb to all that was happening around her. Herschel could hear Daryl's cries from out by the river, hollering out in anger. Eli hadn't even noticed… just kept on moving… as the whole world wasn't there, just existed in her imagination.

**Daryl**

"How did this happen? HOW?" Daryl's whole body was shaking, he had thrown all of his weapons to the ground and was pacing around the fire. The women had shuffled all the children indoors, leaving only the men outside to deal with rage flowing from every pore in Daryl's body. Every movement was accentuated, sharp with anger and hatred. "How did he get a hold of her? How did you not hear her behind you? How the FUCK did he even get the chance to lay a finger on her, fuck her up the way he did?" He was in Merle's face now, shoving against his brother's chest, his face twisted in anger. "You see her in there? Bleeding all over the place? She can't even walk!" His voice was cracking, the reality of it breaking him down. "Tell me Merle! TELL ME!"

Merle stood strong and silent. All of them had noticed the dark purple bruises around his neck, the blood on the front of his shirt. His eyes couldn't settle on his brother's face, were concentrated on the door that Eli or Herschel, or both, would eventually wander out of. "I didn't even know she followed me brother…" His voice was quiet… untainted by anger. All anyone could hear was sadness. It was new… and frightening. Merle looked shaken, scared even. "I doubled back… and… and I heard him yellin'…" He stopped, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Daryl was seated on the ground, head in his hands. Merle stood firm, unwavering. "And when I saw what he was doin… I hit him as hard as I could, got him off of her. He didn't… do what he had intended to do. I didn't let him get that far man… I didn't."

The silence that followed Merle's explanation was overwhelming, but no one dared move until Daryl did, no one dared speak until he spoke. What was there to say? There wasn't any fixing this.

Merle swallowed hard, looked up to the other men standing with he and his brother… these men that actually gave a shit, didn't abandon them at the first sign of trouble. He nodded at them, a silent thank you, and a polite way to get them on their way. He needed to talk to his brother. They walked off towards the building silently, leaving the two men on their own.

At least an hour passed before either of them spoke. Merle sat there, and for the first time in his life, let his brother cry quietly next to him. Didn't put a stop to his tears. He had only seen Daryl cry once, when their mama had passed away when the two of em' were nothin' but little boys. Merle hadn't stopped him then either, had just let him cry and get it out of himself. Daryl was only ten years old then… Merle sixteen and already with a shell made of metal. Still, the sight of his little brother cryin over his mama's bedside table had stuck with him. He hadn't seen this look on Daryl's face since that day, but like no time had passed at all, here it was again. His dirty faced streaked clean where his tears fell, wiping at his face every fifteen seconds or so. Finally he spoke.

"What happened… at the end I mean… what happened to him?" Daryl's voice was suddenly dark, tears coming to a halt. He looked at Merle harshly, murder in his eyes.

"Eli put an arrow throw his back, came straight out through the front of his chest." Merle made a popping noise and he explained. "He bled out in five, ten minutes, tops."

"She killed him?" Daryl's face relaxed slightly.

"Yah… she killed him." Merle took a deep breath in, decided to risk it for once, be honest… no matter how weak it made him look. "After I got him in the head, got him off a' her, I lost my footing, and then he was on top a' me… chokin' me…" He blinked several times, attempting to stop the water in his eyes. "He was gonna kill me Daryl… he got the better of me for a minute." His head hung in shame. "But she helped me… she saved me."

Daryl looked up at his brother, his eyes red and swollen, the sight of Eli's lifeless body hanging in Merle's arms flashing in front of him. She was completely out when they had emerged from the woods, blood trickling from her face and her leg, smearing her and Merle's clothes alike. Daryl couldn't tell where Eli's blood ended and Merle's began. Nothing would be able to shake that image from his mind. "How? How did she save you Merle? What the fuck happened? I still don't get it."

"You don't have to get it." Merle's voice was sharp and heated, like the edge of a blacksmith's sword. "I tripped up… just like she did. She did what I would have done." His chest tightened as the reality of what had actually happened hit him. "She snuck up on him ya see…" He crouched down in the position Eli had been in before it happened. "Had the arrow in her hand… looked at me right in the eye… and then stabbed him straight through the heart." Merle's shoulders slumped forward. "I don't think she knew what to do, I could see it right off… she don't think she has it in her, but I saw it clear as day… if she cares about something she'll protect it no matter what…. It was surprisin'."

They both heard the door creak behind Daryl and turned to look. Eli was standing there, lookin at them as she slowly moved toward the fire. Daryl stood to help her, shaking in his skin, when she held her hand up to him. He stopped, and both he and Merle waited for her to make her own way to where they were standing. Her steps were slow and strained, but the look on her face was one of determination. She was going to make that short trek on her own… no matter what… and slowly but surely she'd get to where she'd be walking normally again. Daryl didn't doubt that fact for a second. She was the strongest woman he had ever known. Strong enough for the both of em'. She had killed a man protecting his brother, and he had never been more in love with her than he was at that moment.

She moved in between the two men and looked out to the river. Daryl felt her fingertips on the palm of his hand, and he grasped… held on tight. They all stood like that for a few moments before she reached over to Merle and grabbed his hand as well. She pressed her lips together hard and leaned her head against Daryl's shoulder. "Thanks you guys. I love you both."

Merle and Daryl both stood up straight, nervous and taken aback by her sudden declaration of love for not one Dixon brother, but both of them. She had known them both for years, had cried with them, laughed with them, created a bond stronger than any she had ever known besides Em and Sarah. They were her family, and she was theirs. Daryl reached down and kissed her on her bruised cheek as Merle stood stoic looking out to the river. Unwilling or unable to reciprocate the statement he had just heard. But when Daryl glanced down he saw Eli's hand still gripping Merle's. Watched as his brother give her hand a slight squeeze, not letting go until they all turned to head inside and get Sarah. Eli dropped Merle's hand and held on to Daryl's, leaned her exhausted body into his and accepted his help to the door. He looked back at his brother, standing in the same spot, facing the building now.

"I'm gonna head back out, I left my pack in the woods… and someone should bury.. him. Can't just leave him there… he might attract walkers." Merle's voice was hoarse and cracked. Eli looked back at him with that stern look she got with Daryl at times, tears in her eyes.

"No, you're gonna come in and eat. Herschel's gonna check you out and make sure you're okay. You have to do that before you go anywhere Merle."

"Oh do I?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I don't have to do shit besides get that corpse out of our fuckin' back yard, you wanna be the meal for one of those geeks? Probably not, I'm guessin'."

"Merle, you have to be there when we talk to Sarah." Eli wouldn't let him break eye contact. "She deserves that, you being there. You can pretend not to care about any of the rest of it, but not that. Not her. Come with us… please."

He couldn't really argue with that.


	28. Chapter 28

**It took me so freakin long to write this chapter, trying to find a segway into what is going to happen next is way harder than I thought. Let's just say things get dangerous, people are gone, homes are ruined… it's going to be like a finale… the next few chapters… a finale to this safety, this home. I hope everyone who is still reading enjoys, and I'm going to do better to get these chapters out sooner. Thank you for the reviews to those who gave them, and I hope I don't let anyone down with this chapter! Damn… it really did take me a while huh? *sheepish grin* sorry again. **

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

**Daryl… **

_Three weeks later…_

The feeling in the pit of his stomach was unmistakable; he was going to be sick. His eyes watered over, knees buckling beneath him, and he just let go. The quiet of the woods disturbed by his retching. The thought entered his mind that he might attract walkers, but at this point it seemed almost impossible not to do. Since the incident in the woods weeks earlier they had been coming in spades, drawn in by the stench of Jeremy's body that had sat out a little too long, the screaming that had come from Daryl, Merle and Eli alike. When Sarah saw her aunt beat to hell and bloodied up no one could control her sobbing. Even after moving her into the building Daryl could still feel her cries inside of his chest. No matter what he did that sound was stuck inside of him. He could handle a lot of things, could put on a tough face in every situation possible, but not this one. In front of them all he held it together, but when he was alone he let it out. Let go, felt what bubbled inside of him every day. Anger… he had never felt so god damn angry in his life. Jeremy was dead, there was nothing left for Daryl to do by accept what happened and move on, but he wasn't capable of either. He was stuck.

He fell backwards on to the wet leaves and mossy ground, wiped his mouth. When he looked up at the late afternoon sun he couldn't help but notice that it seemed to get dimmer as the days led on. Fall was coming. The fences were slowly losing power, the freezers were struggling and they were on their last generator. He knew they would have to move soon, but the thought made his stomach turn that much more. This was their safety, their home. These woods that belonged to he and Eli was there sanctuary, and because these freakish, relentless monsters were descending upon them, they would have to uproot themselves and run. Again. He was tired of fucking running. He wanted to stay put. Daryl knew it wasn't possible, knew he couldn't wish for such a thing and expect it to come true, but he wished it just the same. A guy can dream, right?

He had been out there for hours by now, his watch was over, he knew that… but the last thing he wanted to do was face anyone back there. Everyone had been looking at him cautiously since it had happened. Walking on eggshells was now a rule of thumb around him. No one told him the truth anymore, no one looked him in the eye… except for the girls and Merle. They were even scared of him in some way, he knew it. He could read it on their faces. With Eli there was more anger hidden then fear, he knew she was angry with him for being distant. How the fuck was he supposed to act anyway? Something like that happens, and he can't do anything to change it… what does she expect? "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" His voice echoed, bounced against the trees

Daryl's feet were heavy as he turned towards home. He needed sleep, needed to see Eli and hold her, to brush the hair out of her eyes. Apologize for all this. This mess that had become their life. All he wanted to do was make it better, make her happy. Keep her safe, keep them all safe. For once in his life he was beginning to accept that it wasn't possible. He had no control over what happened to them. Maybe he should just learn to let these things happen… stop fighting against the current… go gently with the flow.

**Eli**

"All I'm sayin' is that we need to be more aware of other dangers… not just walkers. Just because they are the main threat at the moment doesn't mean we should underestimate what others are capable of." Maggie's voice was strong, loud enough for everyone to hear. They were scattered around the fire, each taking their turns to talk and have the group listen. Eli sat huddled next to Glenn and T-Dog, Sarah wrapped up in her arms. This was their second meeting in the past week. The dangers were growing each day, the uncertainty of what was to come was frightening them all….and the one person that should have been there, again, was out in the woods doing whatever it was he did out there. Merle and Daryl both. They had split off, and Rick had taken the middle ground. She knew they'd be fine, but the fact that Daryl had so willingly volunteered, _again, _was beginning to get under Eli's skin. She knew that he hadn't been dealing with what Jeremy did to her very well, but shit, it had happened to _her, _not Daryl, and she could still keep it together. She couldn't for the life of her, figure out why Daryl couldn't do the same. And it's not like he was around to explain it to her. He barely even spoke to her these days. He still held her while they slept, still kissed her hello and goodnight… but even when they made love, Eli felt like he was just doing it to get something out of him he didn't want there anymore. Sometimes he'd roll over and pretend to sleep. Just the other night he had gotten up out of the bed and left, just left the building. Slept outside by the fire. She needed him more than ever, and he was abandoning her. The pain of that was worse than any of the physical pain she had been going through. Abandonment…. Such a heavy word… with even heavier consequences.

Merle appeared out of the corner of her eye. She looked him and gave him a slight smile, he nodded to her in acknowledgement. Her relationship with Merle had become strained as well… not because he was distancing himself, but because she didn't know how to talk to him anymore. Before they had this huge… thing between them. What he had seen her go through, what she had done to save him… the aftermath was like walking through a town that had just been ravaged by a tornado. Her friendship with Merle was tangled and confusing. She was overwhelmed by her inability to navigate her way through this. She hadn't felt so alone since Em died. Sarah was her only comfort, and Sarah even looked at her different. Like she was always scared for her, she never went a day without showing the fear she felt to Eli through her eyes. Everything had become even more complicated over night. She wondered if they would ever get through any of this, or if she'd fall apart before she had the chance.

"Eli? What do you think?" Herschel gazed on her with sympathetic eyes. "What would you make of all this… if it were up to you, and only you, what path would you take?"

Everyone was staring her now, waiting for her answer. She cleared her throat, blinked several times to fight off the tears that were ready to spill over. Looking at all of their faces, afraid and lost, she felt compelled to tell the truth. She owed them that. "I think that we are running out of time." She ran her hand over Sarah's, tracing circles in her palm, letting her know that she was still there, no matter how far away her words may seem. "We have been safe for a long time here, longer than any other place I've been, and I know it's frightening for all of us… but it's time to move on." Eli swallowed hard as Daryl and Rick appeared in the doorway. Rick was looking at her intently, but Daryl had his eyes on the floor. "I say we pack all we can, really get ready for this journey we are going to take to where ever God decides to put us next. We can do this, we've all done it before right?" People were nodding, opening their ears to her, eager to listen. "We have all been to hell and back, haven't we? Who says we can't do it again and make it out alive? No one has, we deserve a fighting chance guys. The only one that can provide us with that is ourselves. Let's just get through this, find the next place to go and set up camp."

"That's your big plan Eli?" She looked up to see Daryl standing rigid, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, eyes burning into hers "Just keep running? Over and over again? They'll catch up with us eventually, no matter how hard you fight, we are all dead people standing. That's it. Good fucking luck to us!" Daryl's hands were in the air, his anger causing the people around him to step back. Tears were falling freely now from Eli's eyes. She stood up, facing him with anger equal to his own.

"So what's your big plan Daryl?" She spit at him, trying to hold back sobs. "You wanna just sit back and die? Wait for them to come and rip us apart, turn all of us into those monsters? You wanna just give up? That's _your_ big fuckin' plan?"

Daryl's hands fell to his sides, he shook his head at her. "No… that's not _my _plan Eli… that's just the way it's going to be. Not one of us has the power to change it. It's stupid to think any different."

"You're so full of shit! You don't know that, but you're going to give up anyway? You fucking coward!" Eli turned just in time to see Sarah sprint from the room, Carl following her.

"Great guys, just great." Lori stood and shook her head, pressing her lips hard together, eyes shifting from Daryl to Eli. Both of them were coated in shame, knowing their words had done more harm than good. "Why don't you scare the children even more? How's that for a plan? Because you both seem to be doing so well in that respect." She reached over and brushed the back of her hand against Rick's cheek, a gesture filled with so much love and honesty it made Eli's heart catch in her chest. She turned back to Eli, addressing her fully, and no one else. "I'm going to go make sure they are in bed. I'm going to take care of them tonight, and after this, get your shit together and be a good parent. That's your job now Eli."

"She's not a parent…" Daryl said under his breath.

Eli's eyes were glued on him… dumbstruck by his words… she knew she hadn't birthed Sarah… she knew that. She was trying her hardest to be a mother to the girl anyway, was doing her best… and he was stepping on that with such disregard that she couldn't control herself. She stalked over to him and slapped him as hard as she could. His face whipped to the side, eyes open wide with the shock of it.

"I KNOW I'm not her mother!" Sarah was next to her now, tugging on her shirt, crying for her to stop. Eli didn't hear, all she heard was her own angry heartbeat pounding in her chest. "She doesn't have a mother, I'm all she's got, I have to take care of her, which is more that I can say for what you've been doing lately!" She was crying now, unable to stop to flow of her tears. "You don't care, you're not trying, you're leaving us just like everyone else has! Running away! You don't care, you never did, did you? DID YOU DARYL?"

He grabbed her by both of her arms, pressing himself against her and holding her tightly. She fought against him, pushed against his chest, kicked her feet, but he wouldn't let go. Once Eli had steadied some he reached out and grabbed Sarah and picked up her, held them both tightly, kissing their cheeks, brushing their tears away with the rough skin on the back of his hand. "I'm sorry." He choked out, holding them tight, not letting them wriggle away. "I'm sorry… you're right. You've always been right. I'll take care of you no matter what…" He leaned back and held Eli's face in his hand. Looked at her objectively for the first time in three weeks and smiled. "Please tell me you know that. Please tell me you know I'll take care of you both."

She cried a little harder, not paying attention to anyone but him. "I do know that Daryl. I know you want to take care of us… so please… keep us safe." She reached up and kissed him slowly on the lips, feeling for the first time in weeks what she wanted to feel… love. He held her by the back of her neck and pressed his lips against her temple. That was it… they were safe again.

Maybe that was it… maybe he was her safe haven. Maybe he was the key to all of it. If Eli had Daryl, she knew that she and Sarah would be safe. He was her safety, her home.

She would need him more than ever in the coming weeks, she knew that. At least he was back on her side. At least he knew it too.


	29. Chapter 29

**Almost there, the end of this part of the story. Hope everyone enjoys, please review if you like it! Next chapter coming soon **

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

"_What am I supposed to do now Daryl?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her normally glowing skin was pale and cold, her lips dry to the point of splitting. He took in the red rings around her eyes, the way they jumped from object to object without really looking at anything. Even the way she was sitting, leaning her elbows on her knees, feet turned into towards each other… like was tryin' to hide inside of herself. Disappear forever._

_He sat himself down next to her, careful not to touch her. Her pain was contagious, her sadness palpable. You could feel it in the air around her, hear it in her soft voice. He wanted to reach out and hold her, press her tear streaked face against his chest, but he just couldn't. Something was holding him back… probably the fear of being pushed away… he didn't know. He just knew that he felt it too. He could feel Eli's heartache, hear Sarah's soft cries from the house. Daryl looked up from under the oak tree to Sarah's bedroom window where they had left her to be alone. After she had screamed them both out of course, being sure to throw items at them as they exited, declaring hatred on both of them, claiming she was going to run away. When Daryl looked back at Eli he was at a loss. "I don't know Eli… I don't know what you're supposed to do."_

_Suddenly, with no warning what so ever, Eli was glued next to him, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around her. She gripped the front of his shirt so tightly he thought he might choke, but the only thing he could see was this girl falling apart in front of him, this girl that he loved more than he'd care to admit, all of the hurt and loss escaping her body in deep sobs against his body. She shook as he wrapped her up in his arms. "It's okay Eli… it's okay. This whole thing is going to work out… it'll all be alright."_

_She was shaking her head in protest. She was always the one to look on the bright side, to open herself to the opportunity of happiness no matter what the circumstances… but this had broken her. She was ripped apart from the inside out. "I can still smell her in there, can still hear the wind chimes I got her for Christmas last year out on the porch every time the air shifts…" She was hiccupping now, struggling with every word, but determined to get it out regardless. He looked down at her, seeing her eyes focused on her hands in his, squeezing his fingers… releasing them… squeezing them again._

"_Is she really gone Daryl?" Her eyes stared into his as he looked down on her, reaching up and wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I mean, it doesn't seem real." She moved away from him now, only keeping her hands wrapped around his, tracing his palm with her index finger. He had watched her do that with Emilie when she was upset, trying to calm her down. Seen it with Sarah too. Watched her sit by her father's bed when he was slowly dying from pancreatic cancer, losing himself in his disease, and she could bring him back with that one movement. She could remind them all what was important, by just tracing letters, numbers, shapes into the palms of their hands. It was her own special kind of magic. "Is she really dead if her mail still comes? If her laundry is still outside drying on the line? It's like we're all just waiting for her to come back somehow… and I know it's not right." She closed her eyes and turned her head upwards, addressing the God she didn't believe in. "Why did you do this to me? What happened? What did I do?" She bent her head down again, buried her face in her hands. "What did I do?"_

"_You're the strong one." Daryl blurted out. The silence that followed, the only noise was coming from Eli, trying to calm her hiccups, her struggled breathing. He looked to her to find her eyes on his already, trying to understand what he meant. There weren't very many times he had the chance to tell her what he really thought, she'd rather be left in the dark. She'd rather not know what other people were feeling, she couldn't even sort out her own issues half the time. She buried her faults, her problems, her sadness, because that was the only thing that helped her survive her introduction to life. Her difficult, abnormal, damaging introduction to life. She was a survivalist. Daryl could relate_

_None the less, the temptation to be honest with her was more than he could bear. He took a deep breath and settled his eyes on hers… her bloodshot, frightened eyes… her sunflower eyes. "Merle fights with Em so bad that they don't speak for weeks… who was there to help her through it? It was you. That fuckin' kid in Sarah's class that wouldn't leave her be, kept pickin on her and makin' her miserable… who was there and said the right thing to turn it around? She came home from school the next day lookin…. Lookin so happy and grateful… to YOU. When your cousin Betty came and asked you… asked you about her dad…"_

_Eli's hands stopped moving, she was frozen._

"_You told her the truth… didn't matter how long it'd been. She asked you, and you told her the truth because you knew she needed to hear it. Most people woulda just lied to her… told her it was all bullshit… told her that her daddy was the good man she remembered cuz that's what's easy… but you didn't… that was strong Eli… that was strength." He suddenly felt nervous. She had never spoken with him about this… this was strictly Emily/Eli territory. No one else allowed. Family shit. He had heard enough from Em and Merle's discussions about Eli's well being to put the pieces together tho… he wanted her to know he was listening… was there to listen. "When your father realized… when he knew it was true… he did what any good father would do. And that was his brother… his brother that did this to you Eli."_

"_I can't talk about this anymore… please." She stood up suddenly, wrapping her arms around herself. "I have to get back inside to Sarah, Daryl… I shouldn't leave her for long. Not in there." Her eyes were wide, she covered her mouth with one hand so he could barely understand her next words. "Not where she still is… where Emily's still alive." She squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed the sides of her head with both hands, pulling at her own hair. It was as if the pain of the past few days were manifesting themselves right in front of him. She couldn't handle it being shut inside her mind anymore, it was coming out of her pores, spilling out her eyes. He stood along with her, trying to grab a hold of her shoulders, but every time he touched her she pulled away with such force it was startling. "Please go home Daryl…" She was shaking, stumbling back on to the porch, leaving him there by their oak tree without a clue as to what to do next. "Go home… don't come back until the day of the funeral… please… I'm sorry."_

_She turned back to him, holding her chest, clenching where her heart was with her pale hand "I'm so sorry Daryl… you shouldn't have picked me."_

"_What?" What the hell was she saying now?_

"_Don't love me Daryl…" His eyes shifted to the ground, he refused to look at her as she finished her thought. "I'm poison… I'll hurt you. That's what I do to everyone that loves me Daryl. You're one of the good ones… so don't love me. I'll just ruin your life too."_

The echo of her heartbeat against his was deafening. Daryl lifted his head and glanced over to Sarah. She had taken their bed, while they were sleeping on a makeshift cot on the floor, a thin egg crate between them and the hard cement.

"_Don't love me… I'll just ruin your life too."_

The memory had shot him the gut and left him bleeding. Tomorrow morning they would say goodbye to this place, most of the people that were here when he came wandering in with the rest of the group that night a few months prior. He knew it was the right move, wished he could convince the compound people to come, but it would only be Justin and Merle… they were the only two coming along, following them down the river. Cassie, Rob, Joanne, Madeline… all of them… they would stay behind. "I'll come back with help." Justin had promised. "As soon as we find other survivors, we'll be back for you. You have enough food to last you at least a couple of months without it going bad… We'll make sure we're back before then… won't we guys?" Justin had looked back at Merle and Eli, not requiring confirmation from anyone else. Merle stood there, baring no expression, looking straight ahead. Eli kneeled down next to Justin and put a hand on his shoulder, another hand on Cassie's, who was crying steadily at this point.

"We will… if we find help we'll come back for you all. It will all be alright, this whole thing will be fine." Daryl heard the familiar lie fall from her lips, but said nothing. Stayed silent along with the rest of them. Rob had his arms clutched around his daughter and wife, the reality of what was happening hitting him hard, and all Daryl could do was nod in his direction. Daryl never knew what to say. Even if Eli was lying, at least she was trying to make them feel better… shit… maybe she even believed the load of crap that was coming out of her mouth. He couldn't tell anymore.

"Tomorrow won't be such a long time…. Right?" Sarah's small voice came out from behind Eli and Justin. She and Carl were holding hands tightly, crying together, all the innocence of a child behind their eyes. "That's what Dylan says… 'If tomorrow wasn't such a long time'… maybe it won't be… right auntie?"

Eli's eyes were on the fire flickering next to her. "No honey…" She looked up at Daryl. "Maybe it won't."


	30. Chapter 30

**I don't really have an excuse for not writing in such a long time, all I can say is that this chapter was over a month in the making. I hope you all enjoy, and the last review I got meant a lot, made me push to post this quicker. I want people to like what I write, and knowing that some people do is a real motivator. Book Two to begin after a my moving is done. Hope you all like this ending for what it is. An ending to a chapter of a story that I love to write. Thanks everybody! **

**Chapter Thirty**

**Eli**

"How many days worth you think you got?" Rob was leaning over Eli's shoulder, watching her pack the dry foods, soups, beans, the usual. "You gotta make sure you have enough to feed all y'all… especially Lori, she's eatin' for two right now… in her second trimester I'm guessin'. I just wanna make sure that ya bring enough for everyone-"

Eli cut him off "I got it Rob, okay? You don't have to worry so much, I know what I'm doin', alright?"

Rob scowled at her and moved away, leaning against the door frame of the large pantry they were standing inside. "Like you knew what you were doin' the day we found ya? That's real reassurin' Eli. Thanks for easin' my mind."

Eli heard the explosion ringing in her ears, saw the hoard of walkers advancing upon her and the others she was with… heard one of the many living people around her at that point screaming in agony as at least three of the geeks descended on her, tearing her flesh from her bones. She shook the image out of her mind and stood up. "Not like then, I didn't know what I was doin' then, you're right. I do now… I have Daryl, Merle, Justin, Rick… all the others." She turned to face Rob and watched how sunken his eyes were, staring down at the ground. She took a step toward him and put her hands on his shoulders, made him look up at her. "We'll be safe as long as we stay with together… that's why I don't understand why you won't come with us."

He shrugged, moving her hands off his shoulders gently. "I can't… already explained why Eli… I just can't. The others won't go, I can't leave em' behind. Joanne and Maddie… this is their home now… and with less people to protect, maybe it won't be so bad. We can make this work… and if we don't make it work we'll just do what you're doing. Running away."

"That's not fair Rob." Eli starting shoving more items into her pack, a little rougher than was necessary. "We're doin' what we need to, it's your choice to stay behind." She sighed a heavy sigh and glanced back at him quickly. "Please don't make me feel worse about this than I already do, alright?" Rob stood up a little straighter, looked at her with empathy. His kind eyes showing her he understood.

His eyes fell from hers, nodding in the direction of the hallway. "I'm gonna go check on the girls… Maddie's pretty upset…"

Eli stopped packing, arms falling to her sides. "Yeah, I know. So's Sarah… Carl too. Ya know, it's funny…" She leaned against the other end of the door frame, craning her neck to look at Rob. "Don't seem to matter what happens, those kids are still just that. Kids. Kids who are losing friends, the only ones they got. It still hurts em', they don't understand yet that with the way things are now, this is probably going to happen more often than it don't… they'll figure it out for themselves soon enough though."

Rob shook his head, looked away from her with thinly veiled disgust on his face. "How can you be so fuckin' blasé about this?" He snapped. "You're breaking the group in half, we're all losing each other… not just the kids, us too Eli. Don't matter how old we are either, some people still feel like shit when important people to them just up and fuckin' walk outta their lives, never to be seen again." He scuffed the toe of his boot against the floor, hands shoved into his pockets. "Like in some movie, off into the sunset or some shit'… cept' in the movies people see each other again, people come back."

Eli was quiet, careful not to look at him. She swallowed hard, tried not to allow the pain of it to sink in.

"This ain't the movies." He continued. "Y'all are gonna leave, and we're gonna stay, and that's it. This is it, right now, the last time you and I are going to speak to each other alone, in this room…" He stepped in front of her, demanded her attention. Every inch of her was telling her to do what he accused her of doing minutes earlier, run away. "The last time your girl and mine are gonna spend the evening out by the fire laughin' together, runnin' around like the children they are… the kids this place allows them to be with all this other shit happenin' around us." He put a hand on her shoulder and she finally met his gaze.

"I know all this Rob… I… I'm so sorry."

That was it, she couldn't hold it in any longer. Her knees went weak, her face contorted, tears escaping rapidly. Sobs racked her whole body and she leaned forward into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and all she could think was 'This is the last time he'll hug me.' Which made her cry even harder. "I'm sorry," She coughed and wiped her nose. "I don't want to rip us all apart… nothing is easy anymore. No decision is the right one. What do I do? Tell me what I should do Rob, what?"

He kissed her cheek and held her away from him, smiling that warm, sad smile of his. "What should you do?... Enjoy this night."

"What? How am I supposed to do that?"

"Because Eli," He laughed, wiped a single tear away from his face. "Because this is all we got left, tonight. And you're right, no decision is right, no decision is easy. Only the strong survive darlin'… and you… shit… you gotta be one of the strongest woman I know." He put his hand to her face, rubbing his rough thumb against her skin. "You can do anything Eli. If you don't remember anything I've ever told you in the time we've known each other, remember that. If anyone can handle this world, it's you. You and those brothers you're runnin' off with… y'all could survive whatever God has to dish out."

**Daryl**

He couldn't help the way he felt when she exited that building with Rob's arm around her shoulder, her arm hooked around his waist. He knew her, knew she wouldn't do anything with anyone else, wouldn't feel anything for anyone else while he was around… at least he thought he knew that… still didn't take the sting out of watching some other man put his hands on her skin, have his face that close to hers. Daryl was full of anger and anxiety with the impending trip upon them as it was, this didn't help his already foul mood. 'Don't get mad, don't yell, don't ruin this night… she'll never forgive you.' He told himself over and over. 'She loves you, only you. She loves you, just you, no one else.'

She and Rob broke away from each other as they approached the fire. He stood up and walked toward her, wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. He could feel her pressing her face against his worn out flannel and breathing in, taking in his smell. He smiled to himself… she DID love him… how could he doubt that at a time like this?

He felt a small tug at his shirt and looked down to Sarah's tear streaked face. "Daryl? Auntie? Can I have a hug too?"

Daryl bent over and picked her up placing her small body in between them, holding them tightly, not wanting to let them go. They broke apart and he looked around at everyone, hugging each other, crying, saying their goodbyes. He looked at Merle, sitting on the dock, pretending to be preoccupied with the packing he'd already completed. Eli saw too, saw Merle distancing himself, as he was so fond of doing.

Eli gave Daryl a light kiss on the lips and walked over to Merle. Daryl couldn't hear anything, but he could imagine what she was saying: 'You gonna join us there Merle? Huh?' Always unwilling to accept his distance, his aloof bullshit. He watched as she put her hands on his shoulders. He wouldn't look at her when he stood up and set his pack down. "Alright, alright, give me a minute would you?"

Without warning Eli stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around Merle's neck. Jumped a little so he had to hold her up with his strength. He watched his brother's face go from hard and pissed off to accepting. Maybe Eli could quiet his soul like Em did. Not settle him and make him happy, but make him tolerate the world around him. Daryl realized then, watching his brother hold Eli up and actually hug her back, that both of them would do anything to protect these girls. God help anyone who tried to hurt them, they'd be signing their own death sentence. Neither of them would let Sarah or Eli get hurt ever, ever again.

Daryl clasped his hands together, took in a sharp breath "Okay y'all, that's enough!" Everyone turned to look at him, surprise on most of their faces. "This ain't how we gonna end this is it?" He raised his eyebrows as he looked from face to confused face. "We ain't gonna sit around this fire cryin' all night, boo hoo-in about how unfair this shit is. We know it's unfair, this whole thing fuckin' sucks." Sarah was leaned against his hip, holding on to his hand tight. He looked up at Eli, who was beginning to smile softly as she walked toward him. "We gotta end this with… I don't know… a bang? Have some fuckin' fun with each other? What do y'all think?"

Maggie wiped her face, both her and Glenn beginning to smile at him, Rick and Lori were holding on to each other and Carl, nodding in agreement. Cassie and her boys stood up, everyone beginning to accept what he was saying as truth, one truth that would not be avoided. He took a deep breath, and like he had so many months before when he called out Eli's name to the darkened woods by the farm, took a chance. "This is a moment in time we aint' gonna soon forget… why waste it?" He could feel Eli take his other hand, lean her pretty head on his shoulder. "We won't waste it with tears on our faces, anger in our… in our hearts." He swallowed hard, choking back the tears that would escape him later in private. "We're a family… all of us. Let's celebrate like a family. Let's leave with the last night bein' a good memory, not leavin' a bad taste in our mouths. Even though that's not what real families do." That one got a chuckle or two from everyone. Eli squeezed his hand and looked upward.

"That's why we're better than a real family… family is what you make it." Her voice sounded on the verge of laughter. "I love you all so much…" She was crying and laughing at the same time, she had found some sort of peace with this. Daryl could feel his own body relax, realizing that there would be plenty of time to feel tense in the future, plenty of opportunities to be afraid, sad, angry, desperate… not tonight. Not this moment. All he needed was Sarah's hand in his left, and Eli's in his right. This moment was for them, and not one person standing around that fire would forget it.


End file.
